Sinless
by stubborn-dreamer
Summary: Finally, take a deep breath, letting the oxygen spread through my system, taking the last remnants of the weight that I was carrying. I was okay. I was coming home.
1. Hate

**Karol N / A: Well, I can say I'm very happy that this day has finally arrived! This story has been written by me and Speisla night after night for almost six months, and finally I feel ready to publish it!**

 **It's a Trinine (for once xD) and the story develops from Insurgent. We changed some things from the original (in this story, Tris's parents and Will are alive, for example) and you can better visualize the changes along the history. This story is too long, and it will be updated weekly.** **Sorry for possible grammatical errors. Speisla and I are Argentine and Brazilian, respectively. We strive a lot in the translations, but we are human, after all xD**

 **We hope you like it! Enjoy your reading!**

 **Speisla N / A: Hi guys! Kary and me strive hard in this fic. I want to dedicate it to Ashlynn and Paulystia, who helped me with the comics of "Doll". A big kiss and enjoy it!**

…

 _ **Two Months Ago...**_

Jeanine always hated white.

That was the characteristic colour of tranquility, but all that it did was make her nervous. It gave her bad memories. Memories of things she should forget.

But unfortunately, this was Angela's favorite color.

They had agreed to meet where they always, in a secluded area of the city. A place where the damn cameras of the Bureau have not reached. Where they could talk face to face.

But Angela wore white. As usual. And this irritated a little the Erudite Leader.

Jeanine got out of her car and approached her, turning away of the dirt road. Angela was a few years older than her, but her chocolate eyes always looked jovial, although it had seen too much sadness in the world. Like her.

She smiled at her. She always smiled. Jeanine tried to return the smile, but failed.

\- Your speech was very motivational. Must be exhausting thinking a new one every year. - she said with a quiet smile.

\- Choosing Ceremony is important, the least it deserves is a good speech.

\- That's true.

\- Were you there?

\- I'm everywhere. You already know.

Jeanine don't answered. Those meetings with Angela made her feel like a child, but she had to do it anyway.

\- I'll do it. - Jeanine said without looking her.

The smile disappeared, and it was replaced for a serious expression. But Angelas's eyes remained calm.

\- You know that there are other ways to win this war we have against David.

\- Really? The "damaged" already have rights outside the fence? - Jeanine said sarcastically.

\- No. This is difficult, but I think ...

\- No, Angela. The number of divergents increases every day in my city. Soon the Bureau will invade us. We can't finish like the other city.

\- And what will you do? Killing all the Pure?

\- If I achieving develop a serum that can hide the Pure, it will not be necessary. You know I don't want to make it. But I see no other way out. Abnegation would say: "We must open our arms to foreigners, their intentions are good."

\- I understand they are very wise.

\- No. They are naive. - the blond woman muttered - Nobody knows anything. Nobody would understand. I've the only been outside the fence. I'm the one who understands what it would be to live under Bureau's government. I have to do this.

\- Jeanine ... You're going to start a war, do you realize what that means?

\- It means a possibility of salvation. - she replied looking at the other woman's eyes - And a possibility is better than a certain disaster. And after all, it is what I was prepared my whole life, right? To preventing the Bureau of turning this city into another hell.

\- And that is too heavy for a single person. - Angela put a hand on her shoulder - You're a Faction Leader and I became leader of Global Rights of Non-Pure. I can tell you, Jeanine, that you're meddling into something that can destroy you.

\- It would be a price I'm willing to pay.

Angela withdrew her hand and smiled. It was a sad smile.

\- If there is no choice ... But be warned: if everything explode, David will not hesitate to intervene.

\- I know.

\- Nor I either. - her eyes returned to be serious - At the first sign of disaster, I will intervene. It is a warning. There are things in Chicago who we can't afford to lose.

\- Genetic Equality?

\- Also, the second smartest person on the planet.

\- Don't presume. - Jeanine smiled a little.

Having said that, Jeanine Matthews turned around and walked to her car. Halfway, Angela called her.

\- Jeanine.

\- What?

\- Be very careful with fall in love. I tell you from experience: these things destroys your brain.

Jeanine shook her head. Sometimes, that woman was too eccentric to her liking.

\- I assure you it will not happen.

And then, the Erudite Leader returned to her car to start her way into the city.

…

 **Tris**

I forgot to bring my clock.

It's the first thing I think when I approach of the Erudite headquarters. It seems irrational to worry about something like that when I'm walking to my death, but strangely don't having the prospect of the time makes it all even worse.

In my mind, I still hear Christina's voice: "You will not do that, okay? I forbid you!".

I remember the last look that I gave to her sleeping body before leaving the hideout and take a train towards my execution. I remember the words of Tobias and Will, promising that we would find another way to resolve things.

But then, I remember Marlene and her robotic voice, controlled by the simulation. I remember the vacuum of her eyes and her body on the floor, lifeless. I remember the pain in the eyes of Uriah and Lynn, the fear in all Dauntless members.

I could not live with that. I could not allow more people were slaughtered because of me. Jeanine would not stop until she got what she wanted, and although give it to her is not the best choice, I could not find another way.

But even then, even with the certainty of my death, however absurd that was, a thought dominated my head, making me suffer.

I think about how it would be if reality were different. If there were no war or threat. I think of, mainly, about how Jeanine would be. If she was a person sweet like Christina or good like Tobias. If she were someone I could come closer by affection and not by a threat.

I shake my head, crushing that stupid fantasy. The intensity of those thoughts was beginning to scare me.

Before, it was just a confusing fantasies. Now, they really scared me. Mainly when I close my eyes and the first thing I see is a pair of silvery eyes staring me in the darkness. Mainly, when the look that should cause me fear, cause me excitement.

Erudite's building is in front of me.

When I enter, I'm not surprised to see guards pointing at me. Without bothering to be cautious, I raise my hands. Anyway, they grab me roughly.

The corridor seems too long. They frisk me, looking for weapons.

My situation can't be worse. I'm trapped by my enemy, in her headquarters, no way to escape. Maybe I'll spend what remains of my life being a lab rat, and then Jeanine Matthews will kill me.

And then I see something that chills my blood in my veins. Caleb is standing behind the windows of an office, watching me. Accompanied by Jeanine.

\- Caleb? - I say without being able to contain, but I know it's useless - Caleb!

My brother looks away.

And then anger explodes inside me. All my frustration and my fear turns to hatred.

Traitor. My brother is a traitor.

I fight the guards, knocking two of them before the third to hit me in my head.

…

I wake in the brightest cell that I have seen in my life.

The colors stand out on the bright white, painfully bright for my eyes.

Barely aware of where I am, I count to three, take a deep breath, and hit the wall with all my might.

Damn traitor. Damn traitor. Damn traitor. And damn Jeanine Matthews.

What I was thinking before? That this woman could have a noble intention in what she did? I'm crazier than her.

If things had been different, she would still be ruthless and manipulative. And she never would approach me for reasons so innocent as affection. She can not feel anything for anyone. Even hatred. She just wants power. And she will kill whoever is in the middle.

As Marlene.

\- Forgive me, Marlene - I whisper in the light while I rub my two hurt fingers - I couldn't to save you.

A camera is in the corner of my cell.

\- I hope you're comfortable, Jeanine. - I say with frustration at the camera - I hope you enjoy everything you can in that comfortable chair. Because when you fall, Factionless will break your head with that nice furniture. And you too, dear brother. At the end, you're worse than her. And if not, then you're a idiot!

Yelling at the camera is a waste of time, I know. But at least, I can feel the satisfaction of imagining Caleb in the other side.

I want to kick my bed, but I decide not to do it. I will not delight Jeanine with more samples of my fury.

The door opens and I see Peter.

\- You know that these cameras have audio, right? - It's his greeting. He puts a gun to my head and forces me out.

We walk down the corridor to a transparent door. He pushes me into the room and closes the door. It's so white as my cell. Full of books everywhere. And in between, there are a table and two chairs.

And Jeanine is sitting on one of them.

Her long and toned legs are crossed one over the other, being interrupted by the blue skirt. As before, she is wearing a dark blue jacket, that subtly provokes the eyes to want to see what is underneath.

I wonder how someone so beautiful on the outside can be so rotten inside.

\- I'm sure my Dauntless companions are disappointed - she says - that you haven't tried to claw my eyes out yet.

\- That would be stupid. I gather it's a waste of time, while not a bad idea for later. - I answer coldly.

\- Sit down.

\- Tell me what time is it.

\- You want to know the time. That's funny.

The first time we have talked, she at least tried to pretend not to be crazy. Now, she no longer need to pretend anything.

\- Go to hell.

Her expression not even is changed.

\- I asked you to sit down, Beatrice. I have no all the time in the world.

\- I don't care about your time. You wanted a divergent, right? You have one in front of you.

"I want to you choose what you really are, your true place." Jeanine's voice echoes in my thoughts, as sweet and soft as a caress. "No for a whim or desire to be someone you aren't, but because honestly you know yourself. I want to you choose wisely, and I know you will."

I look her and try to find that sweet and wise woman who said those words looking into my eyes in my Choosing Ceremony. I try to find her smile, still so clear in my memory, and I remember the chill that that smile caused on me.

But I find nothing.

In a way, she was right. I made a choice based on who I am.

A girl raised to be selfless, that never never would be idle while people are harmed by her fault.

\- I need to tell you what you came here to do. But I think you're smart enough for that.

\- You will study me until supposedly you develop a serum capable of affecting the divergents. - I answer as indifferent as I can - And then probably you will execute me, am I right?

I try to ignore the meaning of my words and try to convince myself that I knew that all the time. I will die in this place at the hands of the woman in front of me. I always knew. No reason to panic.

This, however, don't prevents a chill travels my body. I look at her, waiting for an open smile and something about how I'm smart, but she says nothing.

Her face remains unchanged, but I can see her breathing accelerate significantly. Her eyes burn in mine. In this brief moment I think I see an emotion there. Something similar to suffering.

And then, as quickly as it arises, the emotion disappears.

\- I see that you are smart. - she says quietly - And, moreover, you are very knowledgeable. I'm glad you are fully aware of your situation. This saves me much time.

\- You are despicable ... - I whisper with a voice too tired to be angry. The irritation was something that consumed too much energy. Energy I had not at that moment.

She don't answers my insult, and that somehow frustrates me more.

\- Just to make you fully conscious, you will be executed in this same room.

Jeanine rises from her chair and made a wink to Peter. Then, I feel his strong arms around me, leading me to the door again. We are followed by Jeanine, who opens the door and lets us go first.

Once I'm close enough, I think of how tempting it is the idea to throw myself on she and disfiguring her angel's face until it was unrecognizable.

\- Let's what matters. - she says before closing the door behind us - We will do what must be done.

She walks in front me and Peter by another broker even longer and cold. Her heels echo on the white tile floor.

They take me to the room that is in the end. Unlike the others, this room is of light and dark blues tones. There is a metal stretcher and many advanced computers. My brother is in one of them. We look each other deeply, reflecting the identical color of our eyes on the other.

He not even says a word, and that infuriates me.

Peter throws me hard against the metal stretcher. It's cold. He keeps his gun pointed at me with a clear warning: if I try to move or escape, he will shoot me.

Jeanine goes to the table and takes a syringe.

\- Serum Simulation: Version 1.0.

And without another word, she takes my chin and turns to have better access to my neck and injects me.

…

And almost every day are equal.

Early on, Peter leads me to the Blue Room. Jeanine tests serums following serums in me until sweat soaked my clothes. None works. She orders Peter to take me to my cell. I bathe in the shower that is annexed. I stay some time staring into space and then sleep.

Honestly, I'm proud of my self-control. Nor Jeanine neither Caleb would guess that when I stay perfectly still, I'm actually in the middle of a panic attack.

During those times I think in life that I will never have.

I'll never be part of my faction. I'll never finish growing. Maybe I could have a good life if I had not decided to surrender to Erudite. Maybe someone else would have done something to stop Jeanine. Maybe I would have fallen for someone with the patience to put up with me, and had children. Now that does not seem a bad idea. Perhaps it would have been Tobias, I liked him and he's a good boy.

But it will never happen.

Peter again comes for me, like every morning.

I just get up and let him take me. There is nothing new in that.

\- I wonder how far will your self-control. - Peter says nonchalantly as we walk down the hall. I don't answer, not worth it.

Next to the table, Jeanine is waiting for me, and I realize immediately that something is wrong. She looks at me strangely. It's the same look I saw a few days ago, a tired and sad, almost desperate look. As if something is hurting her.

I stare her for a moment, and she holds my gaze. Her eyes are wetter than usual. She has a syringe in one hand, and this hand is trembling imperceptibly. For a moment, I'm too surprised to move. Thus, with her tortured eyes and the trembling of her hand, she seems almost fragile. Almost human.

I can't stop looking at her.

I can't think about the long day of simulations that I'll have, nor imagine what they will show me. I can't project in my mind the faces terrified of my parents and my friends when they realized that I had given myself. I can't even panic at the thought of my impending death. Because the whole focus of my thoughts is Jeanine Matthews.

All of me longs to understand what I see in her face. I wonder what she's thinking, I want to know why she look so stunned, why she is shivering and looking at me as if she was doing something that was killing her. I would do anything to be able to read her mind. To understand this contradiction that was driving me crazy.

Peter observes strangely the long look we give each other, and Jeanine is the first to look away. She nods her head, and Peter puts me on the table. The serum is applied in my neck, and I close my eyes.

…

I wake with Jeanine's scream of frustration.

\- Tell me! - she screams and snatches the gun from Peter's hand. She points the barrel of the gun to my head. - Tell me what is the secret! Tell me now or I will kill you!

The gun trembles in her hand. Her eyes has several emotions simultaneously. They still has the same look of despair that I had seen hours before: a mixture of fury and now something new. Fear.

She will not shoot me, I'm sure. She will not kill me before she get what she wants.

\- You will not do it. - I reply calmly - You will not kill me before discovering the answer to that same question.

\- You think this is about you, and your abnormal brain? This is not about you. It is not about me. It is about keeping this city safe from the people who intend to plunge us into hell!

\- You are crazy! - I scream - Crazy and psycho! But I will not reveal anything. No matter what you do, I will not say anything!

Finally, I'm blinded by hatred. Everything around me disappears, and suddenly I don't care losing control. I just want to kill her. Kill her.

Without thinking, I raise from the table and throw me against her, clawing at whatever skin my fingernails find. She screams and tries to shake me, but I'm faster and punch her face hard.

Peter's arms take me away from her. I try to get away of him and attack her again, but his fist meets my side. I'm panting and laughing like crazy, savoring Jeanine's angry expression and the hate in her eyes.

Jeanine is as breathless as I am. She has scratches all over the left side of her face, and her nose is bleeding.

\- You failed. You can't control me! - I scream so loud that hurt my throat. I stop trying to get rid of Peter's arms. - You will never be able to control me!

In the same way that I'm laughing, I feel like I'm crying. And I think that's exactly what I'm doing while Peter pulls me back to my cell. Before out the room, I have a last glimpse of Jeanine.

She's cleaning the blood from her nose with a white towel. For a moment, I see her face bathed in tears, but it's probably just a trick of my mind, in this point extremely weak.


	2. Blue Sky

**Karol a/n: Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites of the first chapter. Here is the Chapter 2, we hope you like it :)**

 **...**

I hate her

I really, really hate her.

I don't remember a moment when I don't hated her. In my home, every time she appeared in the newspapers with her hateful comments about Abnegation, my father expressed his hatred. I guess I've always hated her.

But over the past few months, I've been hating her even more. It's like an unhealthy obsession. All the time I have been thinking about what I would do when she was in front of me, and when this occurred, nothing of what I thought was fulfilled.

It's not as if she would allow, anyway.

Still, I think my surrender was the right thing. I saved my friends and my parents. I am sure she will kill me, but at least my life will have been something.

Caleb's betrayal still hurts as if someone had thrown salt in my wounds, and nor was it pleasant to have to endure the idiot Peter. And what I hate almost as much as her, is this room so ridiculously small. It's driving me crazy. My thoughts echo on the walls and come back to me.

She will be watching me?

I'm smart enough to realize that she's watching me. She can be watching while I eat, while I sleep. Or while I shower. I can feel her icy eyes crossing the cameras and reaching me.

I can feel you looking at me, Jeanine. I know you're watching. I will not let you see me going crazy. I will not give you any key to control me. You will not control me. Never. I'd rather be dead than under your control.

Yet, the weak piece of me wants to know what would be the feeling of be controlled for you.

I hate myself for even thinking that.

And at that moment, the door opens revealing Peter.

Do you want to play again, Jeanine? As soon? Your cheek still hurts?

\- Hey, stiff. Stop dreaming awake.

He pulls me and we walked down a long corridor, which was nothing new. My days were limited to rooms and corridors lately.

Peter was still holding my arm, which made me want to turn and strangle him.

But I wouldn't give Jeanine the pleasure to see me losing control.

I remember my hands scratching her face desperately and correct myself: I wouldn't give Jeanine the pleasure to see me losing control _again._

We enter the room and I recognize it immediately. It's the room that Jeanine had shown me the day I surrendered me to her.

" _Just so you know, you will be executed in this very room."_

That meant I would be executed now.

My legs are trembling and my breath is stuck in the throat. Tears form in my eyes, but I don't let them fall.

I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter. I knew about my destiny when I decided to sacrifice me. I would die there. Through her hands.

Jeanine is across the room, preparing a purple liquid in a syringe. The fluorescent light reflects over her glasses, giving to her eyes an almost supernatural tone.

\- Put her on the table. - she orders to Peter, mechanically.

Before Peter touch me, I send him a meaningful look, and he understands at once.

I walk over to the table and lay down.

I look at Jeanine one last time, and I think I see something in her eyes. Some feeling is there present, even though masked by the expressionless face. She stares the syringe obsessively, as if what she's about to do caused her pain.

No. I'm wrong. I'm just imagining things. Jeanine can't feel.

Slowly, still staring the syringe, Jeanine approaches me. My heart races, and I try to convince myself that it's only out of fear. Maybe anger. And nothing more than that.

I hear the sound of her heels while she approaches me. They sound in the vacuum of silence. When she approaches, I can see very clearly the marks I left slightly behind on her cheek, almost hidden by the blond hair.

Then, she removes a lock of my hair, to have better access to my neck, and that simple gesture has the effect of an anesthetic to my brain. I'm sure my eyes are clouded. Her hands are very cold, strangely soft. Inhuman hands.

It's good. At least, it brings me back a bit of reality.

\- You know you're crazy, right? A crazy sick. - I hear myself whispering, but it don't seems my voice.

She don't looks at me when she replies:

\- It's the crazy ones who have to do what is needed. Normal people are useless.

Then, she slips the needle in my neck.

I feel the world disappearing, becoming a cloud of colors. Blue, yellow, and gray. Silvery grey. A beautiful harmful silvery gray.

I hate you. Really. I hate you very much. I've always done, and I don't imagine myself feeling another thing. But strangely, although hating you, I love the color of your eyes.

And soon, I feel nothing more.

 **…**

A pain on my neck reveals me that I'm alive.

The dead don't feel neck pain, I'm sure of it.

I'm so tired I can't open my eyes. I'm on a bed, because there is nothing as comfortable as a bed. I can feel the pillow under my head, and the blanket over me. Everything is comfortable and warm, and I'm too tired.

The first thing I think is that something went wrong and I'm back in my cell. But then I open my eyes.

And the sky is above me.

First, I think I'm crazy, but that isn't possible. The sky is above me. Blue, clear, with some clouds.

I look around me. I'm in a bedroom with blue walls, neatly tidy. Too tidy.

I find the explanation to the blue sky: the ceiling above the bed is glass. The other side of the bedroom has a normal ceiling, but the side that I'm has a beautiful view of the sky.

Trying to overcome my confusion, I remove the blanket slowly. I don't have my black clothes. Instead, I use a tank top, and a pair of shorts. The clothes is what most surprise me. Someone changed my clothes.

Someone undressed me and changed me. The very idea fills me with shame.

I get out of bed, still watching the strange but beautiful ceiling, and examine the bedroom. There is a desk and a large closet on the right. Also a mirror.

The door is on the left side.

Before reaching it, the door opens. And the last person I would have thought enters.

My enemy. Jeanine.


	3. Surrender

**Here is the Chapter 3 :) Happy reading!**

…

Instantly, I feel my body turn to ice. The ice is present inside me, until the temperature of my blood. Everything in me becomes cold. The beats of my heart skips a frenetic pace. They beats fast enough to let me dizziness and nausea. Jeanine don't seems surprised to see me standing. She just closes the door behind her and stares at me.

I need to move my mouth a few times before I get the words.

\- What you ...?

Jeanine stares at me, and her silvery eyes are piercing me from the inside out.

\- If you think you are dead, - she says, her voice cold as ice - I assure you: you are not. And do not ask any more questions.

\- Then the serum not worked. - I feel a delicious inner satisfaction to utter those words. I almost smile at the idea of Jeanine's hatred speech when she saw her plan fails - I told you to desist. It would be less painful to accept yourself you will never control me. None of the serums you created works in me.

Jeanine smiles, but her smile don't contain happiness.

\- Do not say what you do not know, Beatrice. You just woke up the effect of paralysis serum. This is enough to prove you wrong.

\- Paralysis Serum?

What are she talking about?

\- Do you think you would be alive if I had given you the Death Serum? Although you are divergent, I think it would be too optimistic that you believe that.

A discharge of anger through my veins.

In the next second, I have Jeanine's neck blouse in my fists, and approach her body. Even so the woman reacted somehow.

\- What is it that you injected me?

\- Something much better than the Death Serum. You are alive, right?

\- Answer me!

I beat her head against the wall. The corner of her lip curls a little, the only sign of pain on her face.

\- You left me alive to try more of your crap on me? You wanted to torture me a bit before you kill me? Why did not you killed me?

\- If I knew you'd react like this ...

\- Answer me!

And then she starts laughing. It's a strange laugh, without any hint of humor or happiness. It's a tired laugh. The laughter that takes the place of frustration.

\- Beatrice Prior, to be so smart you are still naive...

My hands clenches over her blouse.

\- What do you think I am? Hm? A sadistic? Some kind of villain in those awful books that teenagers read? Tell me honestly, why I bother to hurt you for personal reasons? I did what I had to do to develop a serum that affects divergents. I wasn't successful. I no longer need you. I will find another way in someone less useless.

\- You are a ...

\- Crazy? Maybe, maybe. A bitch? Also. But without me the damn who living outside the fence would take us years ago. The fear they have me kept them away. And you, my little "Tris" are stupid enough to believe that I enjoy doing your life miserable - Jeanine violently shakes my hands. - And take your hands off me!

I release her immediately.

The scene before me is too surreal to believe. And I just look at her, mesmerized. For the first time, looking at her face, I don't see the cold emptiness that had become her trademark. No. Looking at her now, I see many emotions. Too many emotions, all confused and mixed, threatening to explode inside her like an erupting volcano. Jeanine is about to start crying.

\- Is that what you think, no? You think you know everything. You think you know all my feelings and intentions just by looking at my face. But the truth is that you know nothing. You have no idea what is the real despair. You do not know what is hiding something your entire life, to be a prisoner of your own truth and feel threatened by it every second of your life.

\- What are you talking about?

\- You have no idea of suffocating feeling of must doing something at any price. One thing that will cost a lot more than you are willing to give ... Damn it! I should have killed you!

She is panting, breathless. I can feel her breath on my face.

\- Want to know the truth, Beatrice? You wonders why I did not kill you?

I don't answer. I just stay still, waiting her to speak.

\- I do not inject you the Death Serum because I was a coward.

\- Coward?

\- You made me insane, Beatrice. You made me do things I would never do under normal conditions. You ruined everything. Everything I have built in all my life. I hate you for it. Thanks to you, I do not know who I am.

At that moment, I feel everything change. Absolutely everything. I feel my hate dissipate in the air like smoke. Suddenly, I want to touch her. I don't understand absolutely even a word of what she is talking about, but I hate anything that makes her suffer. And I want to hug her. I want to wrap her in my arms and comfort her, hide her under my own skin if necessary. Everything for don't see the pain on her face.

My life has been crazy since I saw her for the first time. I don't think it matters now, not with Jeanine looking at me that way. It is as if we were seeing for the first time. She are panting, her heart in her throat. I do not know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm really mad. I want to immerse myself in this madness and never leave.

For the first time I see traces of fatigue and worry on her face. Then I realize that I'm at her home. In her room. I even had slept in her bed. I want to say something about it, but I can not speak. And she can not even catch her breath. And I can not stop looking at her. In the end, she found a way to control me. And without meaning to.

Suddenly the distance bothers me.

I feel a painful pressure in the stomach. An order, I don't care. I move forward, while she takes a step backward, perhaps frightened by something she saw in my eyes. With every step I give, she backs, until she has nowhere to escape and is caught by the wall. Silence doesn't exist, because I still gasped and Jeanine was breathing very loud while shaking.

None dares to look away. The pain in my stomach stops a bit, but still feel a pressure in my bowels.

I'm able to recognize it: desire.

Perhaps she saw it too, because she closes her eyes and puts her hands to her head, trying to control her trembling. Her eyes are dry, there is no danger of crying, but the tremors increases while she does futile efforts to regain her composure.

I break the distance between us and try to hug her. I never thought I would comfort her, but that only made more evident the truth: I can no longer lie to myself. Beyond how I hate her, I desire her. Every little bit of Jeanine. And that truth will not go away.

Without thinking, I take another step forward. Jeanine don't seems able to move a centimeter. Our eyes are together like magnets, I can see every detail of her face. Moved by something like an instinct, I kiss her. At the beginning of a forced way, simply pressing my lips to her's unexpectedly. After a few seconds, she relaxes in my arms and corresponds me. Everything seems wrong there, and good at the same time.

I fit perfectly in the corners of her arms. Her lips seem made for mine's. Our movements are synchronized as if this is the umpteenth time we kissed, not the first. I love the taste of her mouth.

That kiss meant for me, above all, acceptance. I was renouncing to avoid the inevitable.

While I kiss her, I let the thoughts to flow freely in my head. I allow myself to think about the things I've been pushing to the back of my mind all this time.

I was fascinated by her since the first time that we were face to face.

Something in her stern face always made my heart flutter. I felt attracted to her since the first time we had a real conversation, that afternoon in her office, the time I had gone to look for my brother in Erudite.

Although she intimidated me, silently threatening me to confess that I was divergent, even when she stood before me like a snake waiting to strike. However, I could not help but notice how amazing she was. How shiny and smooth her hair looked. How the blue color looked beautiful in her. How her eyes were impressive.

Those damn silvery eyes.

Finally, let me admit that I was in love with her. I wanted to hate her with all my strength, often I wanted to kill her with my own hands, and although she is responsible for all the bad things that were happening to me, I was in love with her.

With all the tranquility and peace in the world, I leave her lips to kiss her nose. On the way, I find her skin mole, and kiss it. Soon I'm kissing all over her face, without any haste or urgency, distributing small kisses. My lips met lumpy skin, and I look strangely the small wounds in her cheek. They are not red, they are a hot pink, almost hidden by the hair. Jeanine sighs in pain as she feels my lips there. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I kiss the swollen skin, a kiss longer than others. Then I kiss her forehead. And then I kiss her eyes.

Jeanine sets circles on my back with her thumbs, as if she did not know quite what to do with her hands. Her touch relax me at first, but then, lights a unbearable heat in my belly. I think better and control my hormones. I pull her away from the wall, without receiving much resistance.

\- I...

\- We'll talk tomorrow - she interrupts.

I agree. Now I'm motivated to the task of embracing her waist and kissing her cheek as we walks to the other end of the bedroom. I sit her on the edge of the bed, and on impulse, I kiss her forehead. She's staring at the floor, not daring to look at me yet. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so I let her look anywhere as I begin my task.

I open the buttons of her white blouse without hesitation. Jeanine stays very still while I undress her, but when I look at her face, she is flushed. Then I take the skirt-pencil blue, trying not to feel too altered to have before me her creamy legs. Her body is very pale, as if she had not taken sunshine in her life. Under the blue bra I can see her pink nipples, without looking too much to not make her feel uncomfortable. I make a mental note to ask later about those scars beneath her breasts.

\- Second drawer.

I turn around to open the second drawer of the wardrobe and find a pink nightgown. It's silk, and smells wonderful. I turn around to return to Jeanine. She looks like a little girl.

\- Raise your arms.

Reluctantly, Jeanine does what I ask. I put her the nightgown. My hands are kept busy rubbing her shoulders and kissing her on the lips again, deepening the kiss this time. I do everything as slowly as possible. Then I will to bed too, on the left side.

And suddenly I realize that I'm sharing the bed with Jeanine Matthews, and that it's the most relaxing I had felt in my life. Both lie in silence, staring at the dark sky through the glass roof.

\- I like the ceiling. - I whisper in comfortable silence.

\- It was difficult to find a glass strong enough. - she whispers in response. And suddenly, I feel her hand grabbing mine's. And it feels natural, comfortable. I interlace our fingers.

A while later, Jeanine is sleeping with her head on my shoulder. I have dream, the dream that gives emotional exhaustion, but I don't want to sleep.

I just realize that at last, for the first time, I feel belonging to something. And isn't a faction, is this woman who is breathing quietly in my neck.

But for how long?


	4. Caleb

When I woke up in that morning, the first thing I saw were Jeanine's closed eyes.

Looking at her sleeping face, I realized I had ever seen her so serene and peaceful. In all our personal encounters, everything I saw in her was cold and blank, as if she was a machine and not a person. On that bed, while she breathed quietly in her deep sleep, I realized how much she was human.

At the same time, I also realized that even this peace wasn't complete. Even though she was asleep, I could see stress wrinkles on her forehead. Her face, even while sleeping, was slightly troubled, as if she were in a constant nightmare.

Suddenly, the memories invaded my mind like a snowslip, and my heart began to beat faster.

I was reminded of our fight, Jeanine yelling at me, pouring all her pain and anguish at once. Maybe that had been the first time she expressed her feelings that way.

I sat on the bed, taking great care to not wake Jeanine. The sun cast its first rays on the glass ceiling under which we were, and I was able to understand why Jeanine built it. That vision was able to make anyone forget their troubles, if only for a while.

My head was still spinning owing to the intensity of the previous day's events. I still couldn't believe how everything had changed completely in such a short time. Exactly 24 hours ago, I was awake in my room, terrified and asking myself what Jeanine would do to me that day.

Now, Jeanine slept by my side. More than that, she had slept all night cradled in my arms.

My biggest enemy.

Looking at her like that, so fragile and hurt, I couldn't to repent of anything.

Slowly, her eyes began to open, and our looks finally met, blue on gray.

For a moment, Jeanine's eyes are a little confused. Soon, she seemed to remember of everything. We share a deep and sincere panicked look, until she took a deep breath and sat up in the bed.

\- Good morning. - I said in a strained voice, to break the silence.

\- Good morning, Beatrice. - she answered politely.

For a moment I searched something else to say, but then, she anticipated me.

\- Your clothes are in the closet. I would greatly appreciate it if you changed.

\- Did you wash my clothes?

\- Before that, I would amputate one hand. I have a washing machine.

The comment make me smile, causing a small blush in her face. Jeanine looked away.

\- The door is open for when you want to go. - she said turning around and walking to the door.

\- An open door. A very nice change.

\- I bet it is.

And then, a barefoot and disheveled Jeanine Matthews version walked out of the door.

My eyes followed the movement of her hips all the time.

That was the craziest thing I had ever done in my life.

I felt my head blank, as if I had awakened from a long and nice dream, and I had to get used again to reality.

I was tempted to just sit in the bed and think about everything that happened in the last 24 hours. The situation was so absurd that seemed to had been taken from one of those awful romance books.

I remember the purple color of the serum, I remember to have fought with Jeanine, screaming, with my mind confused and my emotions altered.

I remember what I felt after, what I did.

God help me, I kissed her.

All over her face, her scratches, her forehead, and her lips...

And it felt completely natural and normal.

I was screwed. Both, if our feelings were real. Although the idea that she had been lying yesterday seemed impossible. She was too proud even to feign weakness.

A sudden impulse made me get up.

As she said, my black clothes were in the closet. With discomfort, I took off my comfortable pajamas and put on my own clothes. I'd rather to continue using the white and light blue pajamas.

It smelled good and it relaxed me. It smelled like Jeanine's hair.

I looked me in the mirror, and I decided don't wear my black jacket, staying just with my black tank top. I wanted look even more Dauntless, if it was possible.

I ruffled my hair. I straightened my clothes so that my tattoos were seen. I was trying to find something of myself in the mirror.

But I just never had entirely clear who I was.

Until yesterday. Yesterday I felt I had found the missing part of me in the moment that Jeanine lay down into my arms to sleeping.

Suddenly, I felt heat. Much heat. But heat wasn't in my skin, nor in my stomach. The heat was in my chest and in my head.

I quickly left the bedroom, feeling relief that Jeanine had spoken the truth and the door was open. The corridor outside was blue, like everything that my eyes saw.

I could understand that it was her favorite color, but this was too much.

The hall had two extremes. I went for the left and opened the first door I found.

Bad choice.

It was a bathroom. And Jeanine was bathing.

I was petrified by three seconds, but I reacted in time, before she saw me. I don't know how she didn't hear the door closing frantically. Maybe it was the sound of water.

I leaned against the wall. I didn't see much, only her back arched and her soapy hair. Nothing more.

And that was enough to make me lose my mind for a moment.

She had a mole on her back and another in her neck. She also had dimples.

I walked away quickly, trying to calm my breathing.

The other hall gave access to the rest of the house. It took me to living room, and from there I went to the dining room. Jeanine's home was very impersonal. I didn't see photographs, or anything like that. Instead, I found documents and notes everywhere.

It amazed me she don't drowned in papers.

I sat on the couch, still shaking. Adrenaline still ran in my veins because of the vision I've had. I took a deep breath, trying to ward off the thoughts.

Beside me, on the couch, was a stack of papers scribbled by chemical equations that I could never understand in my life.

Just out of curiosity and with intention to distract me, I took the first paper in the stack and began to look at it, trying unsuccessfully to decipher those jumbled symbols and numbers.

Then, I heard sounds of steps toward the room and dropped the paper immediately.

Jeanine was again on the her usual version, the way I was used to seeing her. She wore professional clothing, her hair was perfectly coiffed and tied on top of her head and she wore glasses.

It caused me anguish.

This Jeanine reminded me so much my enemy, and was nothing like the woman who had slept in my arms.

She stopped in front of me and looked at me with anxiety, as if wondering silently out why I was still there.

The next words which out of my mouth were the fruit of my unbearable anxiety.

\- What is it that you injected me?

For a moment, I thought I said the wrong thing. I waited the murderous fury in her eyes, but it didn't come.

Jeanine just took a deep breath and sat down beside me. Feeling her so close made me to remember her naked body under the shower, the water falling down her back, molding itself perfectly in her curves.

I didn't have a mirror in front of me, but I didn't needed a mirror to know that I was blushing. And thinking that Jeanine could see it made me blush even more. Damn.

\- That, as I said yesterday, is a paralytic serum. It simulates a false death. The effect doesn't last long.

Her words, in theory, would answer perfectly my questioning. But it wasn't exactly what I wanted to know.

\- Why? - I finally asked.

Jeanine looked me angry, like I was forcing her to say something she didn't want.

\- I believe you already know the reason. You know why.

\- Then, I will change my question. How? Since when?

\- Look, Beatrice. If it makes you feel so upset, just forget. I told you that the door was open. There is nothing arresting you here.

That made me want to shake her, just like the nostalgic old times.

\- You're much mistaken if you think I'm leaving without obtaining answers before.

\- I don't have to give you explanations. - she replied, cold as ice.

\- Anyway you must to give them in the future, right? Unless you've has won the war. And it didn't happen, because otherwise you would not be here. That lets two options: either you're about to lose, or you has lost and you're hiding.

\- Very clever, Beatrice. - she said sarcastically - But I never would hide me from anyone. Neither from Tori Wu, nor from the useless and resentful Evelyn Johnson. That would be totally irresponsible.

\- That means you're about to lose.

\- That means I wanted to save your life. I swore to Caleb, and although your death would have been beneficial, you're here, alive and well. Therefore, the door is there.

\- Caleb?

She looked at me with a tired expression. Everything about her looked exhausted this morning.

\- Yes, Caleb.

My body became a statue.

Suddenly, I couldn't remember how to move.

Caleb.

My eyes filled with tears to hear his name. Tears of sorrow, revolt, and, above all, of anger.

Of all the bad things had happened to me up to now, that was definitely the worst. I would expect this from an enemy. It would be perfectly natural if came from Peter, Eric or Evelyn. But not from Caleb. Not from my own brother.

Jeanine seemed to realize my feelings as if reading my mind. And I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually doing this, if she had injected me something able to do this.

Then she said the words that poured cold water on my fury.

\- Your brother ne'er betrayed you, Beatrice.

I needed longs seconds to process and understand her words. Seemed totally illogical. In what way Caleb hadn't betrayed me, if I had seen him next to Jeanine all the time, helping her while she studied me?

\- What. .. What are you saying?

Jeanine smiled sadly and wrung her hands nervously.

\- What you saw was a little theater. He was giving his all to make me believe in his loyalty. But I always knew the truth. And the truth is that he was always looking for a way to save you.

She stared at me, probably expecting me to say something, but I remained silent for too long.

\- Until two days ago, I was one hundred percent determined to use the death serum in you. I repeated in my mind every three minutes that this needed to be done in function of a greater good.

Greater good. That was the second time I heard Jeanine using that expression. What exactly was the "greater good"? Taking into account her actions, I figured it was something really big and important.

\- When I realized I couldn't do it, I despaired. By then, everyone knew the date and time of your execution, and I couldn't just go back without arousing suspicion. Caleb was the only option that remained, and I ran into him as if he was a lifeline. If he was trying to trick me all this time, so he should have a plan. And I clung to him with all my strength. We can say that Caleb was the first person in this world who saw me crying.

The tears finally fell from my eyes, rolling down my face. Jeanine looked me uncomfortable, as if she didn't know how to act in front of someone who cries.

\- He told me the plan. The exchange of the serums, the sabotage of the heart monitor, everything was his idea. It's not without reason that the result of his test was Erudite.

Her words caused me pain and relief at the same time. Relief knowing that my brother had not betrayed me. Relief knowing that Caleb wasn't the person without scruples he had staged in front of me.

Pain and blame for thinking about how I had been unfair.

My brother. How could I doubt him? How could I believe so easily that he had betrayed me? Why had I not been able to imagine, once only, that everything could be a trick? What good was my intelligence if it always failed in the most important things?

I felt at that moment the worst person in the world.

\- Do you know where he is now? - I asked my companion, whispering.

\- The last time we spoke, your brother was reviewing serums with Cara. He sounded anxious, almost suspicious. Maybe he think I cheated him, and that I have you imprisoned. You should communicate with him later to alleviate the blame of the poor boy.

I didn't answer. Shame of doubting my brother still consumed me.

\- The relationship between siblings is always strange. - Jeanine said, as if talking to herself - Very strange.

\- We never have been near. Nor between us neither with anyone else.

\- That is something that only happens with Erudite and Abnegation children. No other faction has so many emotional dramas. Ironic, is not it?

Suddenly, I felt something that surprised me, and I think Jeanine too. She was touching my head, my hair, in an awkward and frightened caress, as if she was afraid that I pushed her hand violently.

I didn't do it.

I looked her, in surprise. Jeanine looked at her own hand on my head like she couldn't believe what she was doing. As if her hand had own life.

Then she looked at me, and I could see my own reflection in her eyes. That was baffling for both, but the blond woman's hand remained on my hair, on my messy locks.

No one dared to look away.

The scenes of the day before returned to my mind in a flash, but I drove out them, clenching my teeth.

But unlike the day before, this time she was who leaned toward me first.

As the day before, we were very close. Too close. It was like being in a flashback, living all over again.

I felt her warm and panting breath on my face, like the day before. I felt crazy in the same way, and exactly the same way, I wanted to dive in that madness. Deeper and deeper.

And then our lips were together.

Together, mixed, pressed with ardor and despair.

I felt complete there. I felt alive as had never. I felt I could never be separate from her now. I would be where she was. There was no way back.

\- What we will do now? - I asked.

\- I have some ideas.

And suddenly, I was beneath her on the sofa.

I felt the fire starting in my lower belly and spreading throughout my body. The need to touch her was sweltering, so I put my hands on her face, deepening the kiss. Jeanine had sunk the both hands in my short hair, kissing me so hard that my lips felt numb. I opened my legs and circled her waist, pulling her closer to me. I don't wanted to let the slightest space.

The woman in front of me looked thirsty, as if she was drinking water in the desert. As if it was the first time she felt the sugar taste. She removed her hands from my hair to touch my ribs, my stomach and my hips. Suddenly, feel her hands through the cloth wasn't enough, and with a impatient moan, she began to take off my ...

The door opened with a bang.

\- Tris, hold on! I'm going for... you ...

Caleb.

My brother had a baseball bat in his hands, and a horror look in his eyes.

In the room there was a deep silence for five seconds before Jeanine and I managed to react and separate us.

Jeanine was red as a tomato, and she had disheveled hair. If the situation were not so horrible, I would be happy to see her that way. But I just felt embarrassed and slightly frustrated.

\- I told you she was fine! - Jeanine shouted, finally reacting, and it wasn't a good reaction.

Caleb didn't even seemed to have heard. He only stared into space, open-mouthed, completely silent.

The baseball bat slipped from his hand and struck the ground.

After what seemed like centuries, my brother stared at the ceiling and whispered, loud enough for us hearing.

\- I'll never sleep again.


	5. Without you, nothing

Jeanine had been kind enough to retire so I could talk to my brother. I would have preferred she not to.

My mind was torn between be happy to see my brother and be ashamed of how he found us. I tried to take a common path.

-A Bat? You came to my rescue with a bat?

-I decided to risk with the element of surprise.

Caleb leaned against the wall, arms crossed. He was calmer, but his cheeks were still hot. Mine too.

-Tris ... sorry. I know you must hate me, but sorry, I never meant to let you down.

-You did not -I Take his hand. -Caleb ... you and I have never been close. Feel connected to another person is considered selfish in Abnegation... but now we're not -I followed an impulse and stroked his hair, that was like mine. -When all this is over, we'll forget the "Faction" and will put first the blood, Caleb. I swear.

Caleb let out a few tears, I also almost let out. Then he smiled through his tears and hugged me. With great force.

-I was so distressed... -his voice was choked. -Nothing in the world hurt me more than to see the pain and disappointment in your eyes. But I needed to do it. I needed to get Jeanine trust me. There was no other way to save you.

I nodded in every sentence that he said. It hurt me to see him trying to explain.

-No Caleb, if there is anyone here who need to apologize, that person is me. I was foolish enough to believe that you had betrayed me. I was who doubted my own brother. I should have known you were there to help me.

-It's all right -he stroked my hair and, soon after, my cheeks. -The important thing is that both know the truth now. I love you, Beatrice.

And I hugged him again.

That hug made me feel safe and protected, I felt I had a family, someone who cared about me.

\- I love you Caleb.

So we broke the hug, and we were suddenly more serious.

\- I came as fast as I could. She promised me she would not do anything to you. Instead, she went to me desperately seeking a way to go back and not to kill you. But when I saw your body motionless at the table ... Well, I knew the paralysis of serum caused it, but my distress was stronger than me. I could not trust her.

I ran up here, imagining the atrocities she could be doing with you and ...

He was still red as tomatoes.

\- I could tell you what everyone says, Caleb. The famous phrase ''I can explain it''. But I can not explain. I sought an explanation for a long time and so far I have not found one.

\- When did this start? -he asked, still incredulous.

\- I don't know ... I can not say exactly. In fact, it has always existed, since my... puberty. I never told anyone because they call me crazy. I don't know what to do.

\- I don't think anyone knows what to do in such a situation. -Caleb smiled a little. -But I suppose we could start at the beginning: Will you try to save her?

\- What do you mean?

\- This war is already lost, sister. Factionless are too many. And even if not, there's still the little matter of that Jeanine chose your life, no her success. It's just a matter of time. And she knows it.

A fear ran down my back, mixed with relief. The war would end soon and things would return to normal. Soon I will see my friends and my parents. That was good news, right?

No. It meant they were going to kill Jeanine.

I make no false hope, I have spent enough time listening and talking to Evelyn Johnson and Tori. They want to kill her. They hate her too much for not to kill her.

I pictured Tori or Evelyn with a pistol. I figured the cold face of Jeanine, because I knew that she would die without a single emotion on her face, with her pride intact. I imagined the sound of a shot... My expression must have been terrifying enough for alarms my brother.

\- Beatrice...

\- I need to think, give me a second.

I rested my hands on the couch, where ten minutes ago I felt attain glory. The papers that were on that couch before were scattered on the ground. Jeanine or I had accidentally kicked it.

If Jeanine sensed she was going to lose, it makes no sense to be here when she could be out, trying to stop progress of Factionless. But she is here...

The revelation hit me like a bucket of cold water. She wants to spend her last moments of life with me. Here. Where we are alone and, for the moment, safe.

 _No. I will not let you do this._

Before thinking well what I'm doing, in three strides I opened the kitchen door. Caleb followed me, worried.

Jeanine was drinking a cup of milk, leaning on the counter. Her face twisted with concern when she saw me. Because, to be honest, I'm a monster when I don't control my anger. And control myself requires effort. Effort that now I don't bother to use.

\- Why are we still here?

\- Sorry?

\- Outside is a third of the city that wants your head, and we're here. Why are you still here, Jeanine? Already you have no other plan? Is it over? What are we going to do now to avoid you being killed?

I said "we". I said "we", because if she thinks I'm going to be watching idly how they kill her, she is taking me for a idiot.

\- Beatrice, God, calm down.

\- No! I will calm down when you answer my questions! Why are you wasting your time here when destruction is out!?

\- Are you telling me you want I win the war? -she looked increasingly confused.

\- I don't want they kill you, dammit!- I scream with a broken and hysterical voice that seemed not mine.

Jeanine was white as her cup, between worried and surprised. I think I was trembling with anger as she looked into my eyes. I felt my fists closed so hard that my fingers ached.

Again, I imagine Jeanine dead. Her body cold and rigid, her eyes closed forever. I imagined for a second how it would live the rest of my life without hearing her voice or see her eyes. I don't want to imagine what I would become.

\- Caleb, please, leave us alone for a moment -I heard her say.

I forgot about the presence of my brother behind me. I turned to see him. Caleb looked at me with open eyes, as if he was looking at a stranger. Or a nuclear bomb. That made me feel bad.

I thought my brother would protest, but he just kept looking at me and left the kitchen.

\- Beatrice ... the possibility of death is in all of us, every day. More on people like me. That's something I always knew.

\- No ... - I whispered, shaking my jaw so hard that my teeth would break.

Jeanine came up to me and put her hands on my shoulders.

\- Decisions have already been made, plans have been drawn. We just need to accept what comes.

\- STOP! - I shouted to her-. STOP SAYING THESE THINGS!

Jeanine simply hugged me, to comfort me. Just as I had done to her the day before.

\- I always knew that - she said while still hugging me-. I'm alone, after all, and they are many.

Her words sounded resigned, as if she did not much care about her fate. This further increased the murderous rage I felt inside me.

\- But I had to try. Even though the risks were many, I had to try. Because I could not let...- she sighed and stopped her words - ...but it does not matter. Tris, look at me.

At first, I didn't obeyed. Instead, I averted my eyes. The anger and the pain were still very strong.

\- Tris? - She whispered. - Look at me, please?

Seeing her so sad, my determination could not resist. I returned my gaze to her face. Her silvery eyes were dark.

\- I want you to know that I do not regret anything. I do not regret anything I have done, even though everyone, even you, hate me for it. But neither I regret not having killed you. I do not regret anything we have experienced, even for a short time. If they kill me ... it will be worth it. You were the best thing that happened in my life. Your life is more precious than mine.

I felt a warmth that ran through my body, from head to toe.

\- I will not allow. Never. If they want you, then they will have to go through me, okay?

It would be a pity that we two had died, now that I have let you live.

\- What a pity, you would have thought of that before.

The corner of her lip rose.

\- You sound very confident.

\- My mother always says that hope dies last. -I whispered in her shoulder.

\- And she is a very wise woman...

\- I'll tell you something ...- I took her face in my hands. -You know what else she taught me? To hate waste. And it had all been a terrible waste if you die now. -I finished with a nervous laugh.

\- Then we have to think algo- and she bent to kiss me gently.

\- Tris, I have to ... FUCK!

Damn Caleb and his interruptions.

I turned angrily to my brother, who was blindfolded with his hands.

\- I came just to tell you I have to go. It's late, and I have to oversee the monitoring. O my leader will be angry. But lately she has better mood. I think he has a girlfriend.

\- Very funny, Mr Prior. Your leader will be angrier if you do not shut up and learn the difficult art of knocking on doors before come in. - Jeanine said sarcastically.

\- I retire. I'll be back tomorrow, Tris. And do not worry yet, the situation is bad, but we still have a chance to nobody will die. Except maybe my ability to sleep. My ability to sleep is dead forever -he replied in an equally sarcastic tone, without removing the hand from his eyes.

With difficulty, my brother retired. I heard the sound of the front door open and close, and Jeanine and I were alone.

It sounds like a joke, again ...

\- Let's hope he does not return. - Jeanine fixed her hair. -The Building is guarded. By now, people may leave, but not enter. I sent them all to remain calm and alert. That just leaves us something to do now.

\- Enlighten me.

\- Have Lunch.

Jeanine turned around and opened the refrigerator.

\- You are going to help me or you will be standing there? - She asked mischievously.

I kissed her cheek and cut a carrot.

I'll be grateful if you do a salad. I cook horrible.

\- Really?

\- Really. I never had time to learn to cook - I kissed her forehead. -Once, a while ago, I almost set fire to the building. The funny thing is I was trying to cook salad.

I start to laugh.

It was strange to laugh at that time. A moment in which everything seemed fine but was not. A time where there was a sword over our heads, and we just ignored it.

\- Well ... I grew up in Abnegation. So ... I think I know make a salad. At least, I think I won't burn the building trying to do that.

Jeanine smiled, and I could not help but notice how her smile was beautiful. It was a really a pity the fact that smile on her face were so rare. She should smile more often.

\- That's a relief. - Jeanine says.

We cook and ate in silence. Maybe because we were both accustomed to silence, or because anything that we said could lead to an issue that we wanted to avoid.

\- Tell me one thing -I break the silence while drinking a juice drink - How is be a leader of a faction?

\- Too much stress -she replied resting her chin in her hand. -Exhausting. Strange things every day. But you get used.

\- Strange things like...?

\- Like the inventions of newcomers. There was once an initiate who tried to make a giant typewriter. - Jeanine smiled a bit. -The machine exploded. All were covered with ink.

\- Are there many such cases? -I said before drinking from my glass.

\- Enough to have a good rate of accidents. They are a necessary risk. That's how Johanna Reyes got her scar.

A shiver ran down my spine. Erudite may be as dangerous as Dauntless. Jeanine asked about Dauntless, and I answered as far as possible, without going into uncomfortable issues. I hope that when this is over we can talk without so many taboos.

I told her why I was three crows tattooed on my chest, and Jeanine reached out to touch them, as she had done before. Suddenly the conversation died.

The feel of her fingers on my skin caused myself chills. I looked at her in an entirely different form of two minutes ago. Suddenly, without explanation, it bothered me the fact that she wore so many clothes. Our eyes remained fixed each other for a long time. The desire was on.

It was I who broke away and kissed her lips. My hands were buried in her head, feeling the soft texture of her blond hair. We got up from the table quickly, and then joined our bodies completely, leaving no distance between us. All that bothered now were the clothes. The bloody clothes. Jeanine began to kiss the place of my tattoo, and suddenly put her hands on my shirt. I raised my arms to facilitate her task of passing it on my shoulders.

My whole body was on fire. The desire was such that prevented me from thinking. I just had the full assurance of one thing: I wanted her. Now. Right now.

I tried searching the zipper of her dress, tired of feeling through the cloth. The Cold Kitchen gave me goosebumps, but the warmth of the woman in my arms offset that perfectly. I managed to find the zipper of her dress, and went down a stretch. I think she did not even notice. She was too busy savoring me. I find no other word to describe it. Jeanine was devouring me with her mouth, tasting the flavors of my skin, as if I were a chocolate cake Dauntless..

\- What did you do with me?- she whispered in my ear, and then bit a little behind. A breathy moan escaped my mouth.

Descontrol hit me and I leaned over to bite her shoulder, where the bra strap was bothering me. Hungry, I ran my hands over her stomach and ribs, increasingly uncontrolled. It was not enough. I wanted more. I needed more.

\- I do not think it bother you much whatever I have done. - I growled before bringing my lips to her neck. She moaned. It was a sharp and clear sound. I wanted to hear more of them.

Jeanine pulled me to kiss me again, barely restraining herself not to throw me to the ground right there. But both had the same idea.

It was a bit difficult to walk still kissing her. I'm sure we broke something, but I did not care at that time. Everything else vanished from my head. I could only think of Jeanine Matthews, fill me of her and try to satisfy this desire that consumes me.

Be back in the room made me feel a bit of consciousness. I had no idea how to do this, let alone a woman. The stiffness in my body alerted Jeanine, who immediately stopped to look at me.

\- What's the matter, my dear?

\- I don't know... I never ...- I did not finish the sentence, red with embarrassment.

\- It's fine. It's not that serious - she kissed my cheek. The midday light coming through the ceiling, illuminating her pale body. - Like everything in life, it is learned.

\- Show me.

I lay back on the bed lit, so we can see us at each other. She is so beautiful. So, with disheveled hair and swollen lips she is more beautiful than ever. I can't help but reach out and touch her face, in that place where I hurt her, not believing that it was I who changed the view from her face.

I will never let anyone hurt her again. Never.

\- Beatrice -she sighed looking into my eyes. - You do not seem real.

And I knew that no matter our past.

We have not had the best start, but I was willing to forget that. A forgive her for everything, if she was this loving woman with beautiful smile, not the machine. I want this Jeanine. I want to protect and save this Jeanine. And I'll do it, I have hope in it. No matter how different we are, our mistakes and our sins. If she is willing to give up everything for me, I am willing to love her without measure.

But I could not think anymore, because my lover stroked my belly with her hands, sliding the left inside my pants.


	6. Revelations

The first thing I feel when I open my eyes is relaxation. And Jeanine breathing on my collarbone.

She was calm, her cheek resting on my crows tattoo. Her eyes are open and she caresses my belly. I don't remember being asleep, but according sun's position, I must have only taken a nap of two-hour. I have Jeanine in my arms, our legs intertwined. The red sheet helps us to keep warm, because hugging isn't enough.

Her hair tickles my nose, so I tilt my head to kiss her forehead. When I want to touch her back, I find red, wide and deep marks. My confusion became greater when I noticed the Jeanine's body had many old scars, perfectly concealable with clothes on.

\- What it was? - she asks.

I pull away a little to see her better, looking the bruise that was already beginning to darken in her left breast.

\- Did I do this to you? - I ask in a whisper.

\- I don't think that someone else has been here lately. - Jeanine replies, returning to my neck and kissing it slowly.

I circle her waist with my arm and pulls her closer to me. I would not trade this moment for anything. I feel a new wave of hope. Once I thought it would be difficult for me to have a path, because I admit that I can become very difficult when I'm pissed. But Jeanine brings out the best of me, happiness and tranquility. And with each passing second, my heart becomes bigger and bigger.

Evening light makes the room red, and my lover's hair acquires the color of molten gold. I kiss her head one last time.

\- Jeanine...

\- Yes?

\- Who made you the other scars?

She immediately avoided my gaze.

\- I fell on the stairs playing with my brother, when I was very little.

\- You got all those scars from a single fell?

\- I used to be quite awkward, and Jeared played very abrupt.

-J eared - I said savoring the name. -You have very strange names.

Jeanine shrugged.

\- Where is he now?

\- Jeared is dead. - She said quietly.

My smile faded.

\- Oh, sorry - there was silence a little painful. - Were you close?

\- No, Beatrice. - Jeanine starts making circles on my chest. - I was too small. I do not

even remember his face. I only remember that he used to call me by my middle name, to annoy me.

\- And which one is it?

\- Oh no. I will not tell you. ... It's too ugly.

\- I will not laugh - I put my hand to my heart, near where was her head.

\- Fine ... it's Kate.

I laughed a little and she made a face at me.

\- Now yes, we must out of bed. We can't continue to ignore the dangers out there.

Jeanine sighs and pulls the sheet against her.

\- We can't do anything.

\- Don't start with this.

\- I'm being true.

\- No. You're being pessimistic.

Silence reigns again. Watching the beautiful woman in front of me, I feel a sharp pang of despair at the thought that half the city wants her dead.

I lean against her and kiss her again. She returns the kiss immediately.

\- It will work, you know? I believe it. We will find a solution. Whatever it is.

Her silence implied that she didn't believe it, and I realized that one of the cons of being a Erudite was that you couldn't have faith.

\- If they are going to invade this place, then the destruction will be immense. They'll do anything to get to me.

\- I will not allow.

\- I don't think you can do anything, and I don't want you do anything. Listen, Beatrice. You will not do anything stupid, you understand? You will not lash out in the fire for me. If you do ... I swear, I'll never forgive you.

\- I will take the risk of you not forgive me. I'm sorry, Jeanine, but this is something I can't promise.

Her eyes take on a dangerous and deadly brightness. That wasn't the Jeanine that I loved and who had made love to me just now.

That was the Jeanine from whom I was afraid.

Slowly, while I watch, her face softens, and her mask breaks down. Her eyes suddenly are sad.

\- Everything that is happening is my fault. I can't bear to see you run any danger.

I had no answer to that, because she was right. It was all her fault.

This reflection brings up something that troubled me for a long time. Something that was ridiculously crucial in all this, but I had left in the back of my mind.

The question out of my mouth in a second.

\- Why are you doing all this? What exists outside the fence?

Jeanine's eyes darken. Her jaw tightens in a rigid line. Again, I see the pain in her eyes. The tiredness, the hopelessness.

\- This is a very difficult thing to explain. I don't know if you would understand.

\- Then explain it. I don't want you to hide secrets. Any secret.

\- Beatrice, it's very complicated. - Jeanine turns away a little reflexively - You would not understand. Nobody ever understood. It is ...

\- Listen to me. - I take her shoulders gently but firmly - I'm here, and I love you. But I need to know. I need to understand why you did what you did. I need it. That's all that interposes between us. And if you don't tell me, we can not to go ahead.

I know by her eyes that she know I'm right. Suddenly, she looks so sad that I need a lot of effort to not hug her and comfort her, but I can't let my guard down now.

\- Jeanine. - I ask again - What's beyond the fence?

She takes a deep breath, with her mouth, as if gasping for oxygen.

\- Chaos. - the word echoes through the bedroom like a shot - Chaos. In the whole world. The divergents control everything. And who isn't divergent practically isn't a person. Because of this, it was always very important be none divergent in this city. If they find a lot of divergents here, they invade us, with their lies and false promises of freedom. And it will be our end.

She bites her lip and looks away, suddenly very interested in the red sheet.

I can't take my eyes from her. Her words sound and resonate in my mind as a lot of jumbled pieces of a complicated jigsaw.

\- What do you mean by all this?

\- I said you wouldn't understand.

\- Technically, you have not told me anything. Empty and mysterious words don't count as an explanation.

She is silent for a long time, and then she turns to look at me.

\- We can say that non-divergents are the result of a failed experiment. An experiment that was done long ago.

She stops talking, as if to not proceed.

\- I'm still waiting.

She runs her hands through her hair and presses her lips.

\- This experience modified the human gene, with the intent to improve people. With the intention of giving them gifts. But it had the opposite effect. Mankind became a chaos. And they blame the genetically modified. They call us genetically "damaged", and they consider us nothing more than faulty parts.

I stay paralyzed for a moment. The facts she recounts are too so I can process.

\- Our city, the factions, all ... It's no more than a experiment. An attempt to fix the error ... - her voice expresses anger and disgust - See, the persons like you, the divergents, are persons genetically pure, persons who haven't inherited the genetic damage. That's what they want to do. Getting the humanity back to genetically pure state. At any cost. The factions are only one method they used to keep us under control until we're ready to leave.

\- You say "they". Who are they?

\- They are called "The Bureau". - she look me in the eyes. - They control the cities under this experiment. When a city has a large number of divergents, they open it.

\- And you don't want that to happen here.

\- I will not allow anyone tell me I'm a genetic defect.

\- And you aren't.

\- I tried to do whatever it took. I sought the purer divergent, with intentions to study and create a serum that affects them. No failed simulations, no divergents, no Bureau. But I couldn't. Because this hard headed divergent irritating got under my skin like no one ever did. Guess who I'm talking about? I'll give you a hint: she is in this bed, and it's not me.

\- No. It's not you. - I say sorrowfully - It's me. Jeanine ... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.

At this moment, the pieces fit together - all of them - and I can see everything very clearly.

That was why Jeanine was willing to enslave minds and kill people. That's what she wanted to prevent us to know. To keep us all ignorant and safe and inside the fence.

There is a part of me that understands.

are many parts of me that understands. Every part of me. Because it makes sense - much sense - and although Jeanine's actions were bad, the things what she had told me were as awful as.

\- You don't have to say anything. - she answers in a hurt voice - It's not your fault. The fault is of all those damned ... and mine.

\- You are the one who knows the truth? I mean ... inside this city?

She nods her head.

\- And frankly, I don't know how long it will remain so.

In the moment I'll answer, her phone rings. Hurriedly, she turns and grabs it of her nightstand. The sheet is removed, quite revealing the upper part of her body.

\- It's a message. It's from your brother.

\- What does he say? - I say getting up too.

\- They are already here. - Jeanine looks at me, pale, and a chill runs through my body - The attack began.


	7. Pain

Caleb arrived ten minutes later, and his pale and scared face suggested that the situation was bad.

Too bad.

\- It's all right. - I say trying to think despite the despair - I have a plan.

\- And what's the plan, Tris? - Caleb asks anxiously.

I return my eyes to Jeanine.

\- Your laboratory. It's the safest place in this building. You go there and will stay there until all this has finished, you understood?

\- What? - Jeanine has an almost offended expression - Are you saying I must hide me like a coward and let you take responsibility for my actions? No,Beatrice. No way. There's no way that I'll do it.

I breathe deep, trying to contain my frustration. Why she simply didn't agree and facilitated things?

\- Jeanine, listen to me. - I say, like I was trying to explain to a child something hard to understand - Listen to me carefully: their target is you, right? Only you. All we need is to keep them away from you. While they can't find you, everything will be fine.

\- Everything will be fine? - she repeats incredulous - Do you think everything will be fine if you die?

\- I will not fight them. I'll just try to argue.

\- Beatrice ...

\- I will not talk to them all. I'll search for some people especially. Tobias. Or Christina. Or both. If they hear me, maybe that can influence something, and then we can have a chance.

\- And what will you tell them? "Don't kill her because I love her?" or "She isn't so bad?" Frankly, Beatrice. It has no chance of working. Those people want me dead, and they will do anything for it. If you try to defend myself, they will pass over you.

I close my eyes and sigh. I hate what she's doing. She's simply pouring cold water on all my hopes.

\- I need to try. - I reply in a weak and tired whisper - We need to try. And at this point, we don't have many options available. Understand one thing, Jeanine. My intention isn't exactly die for you, but to make we two stay alive. We two. And you will have no chance to survive if you stay here or anywhere nearby.

\- What if they kill you? - her voice is a faint whisper. She's trying to keep herself under control, but her lips are trembling.

\- They have no reason to kill me. For all purposes, I'm here against my will. I'll be fine, but you will not be if you don't make what I'm saying.

She shakes her head, still refusing to accept.

\- Please Jeanine. - I beg her - Please. If you love me, just do it. Go to your laboratory and stay safe. For me.

Jeanine doesn't answer me, but by her expression I understand she surrendered. She'll do what I asked. She'll be safe.

Then she runs towards me and kisses me. A desperate kiss, almost painful.

And I can feel the pain very clearly. My pain and hers, that are now united forming just one. Her lips move on mine with strength and greediness as if this were our last kiss.

I'm fully aware that Caleb is right there behind us, watching everything, but I can't care.

Neither of us says anything, and I understand why. Any word now will take our courage. Both my as hers.

\- Stay safe. - she asks, but it sounds more like an order - Promise me you'll be safe no matter what happens.

\- I promise.

Then, we move away, and every step I take away from her is a piece of my heart being torn out. I look at my brother and I realize that he has tears in his eyes.

\- Keep an eye on her. - I say to Caleb - Make sure that she will even to the laboratory. Watch the door, if necessary.

He looks frightened as hell, but only nods.

I run toward the door with one only goal on my mind: find Tobias and Christina. Find any way to have a chance to save Jeanine.

 **...**

When I arrive the Erudite headquarters, the destruction is absolute.

Chaos is the word that best describes what my eyes see.

There's fire spreading and people running from side to side. The windows are broken, and there is a crowd of Dauntless and Factionless armed.

I walk through the destruction, avoiding the fire and the shards of glass. No one seems to look at me, because they are busy trying to save themselves.

I look for someone familiar between the Dauntless, but I don't recognize any of my friends.

I decide running to the opposite end and to follow my search, but I feel a hand grabbing my arm.

I turn immediately, hating myself for being disarmed.

\- Tris? - a Dauntless man stares at me and frowns - You're Tris, the girl who gave herself to Jeanine?

Quickly I pull my arm, freeing me from his grip.

\- No. You're wrong. I'm not Tris.

Before he can answer, I'm already running.

I hide behind a table while another window shatters. I hear shots and see computers covered in smoke falling to the ground.

My eyes continue scouring the besieged environment, and suddenly, they stop at a familiar face.

In the first rung of the ladder, I see a dark-haired woman holding a gun. She seems completely oblivious to anything around her. Her expression is focused, determined to reach a goal.

The woman is Tori, and the ladder on which she is gives access to Jeanine's laboratory.

"I thought it would be more … expedient if Jeanine Matthews didn't survive much longer." Tori's voice echoes in my mind through a memory.

Slowly, she begins to rise.

…

The feeling of a hurricane is unleashed in my stomach like a cataclysm.

I have to push many people to get pass. Erudites rushing, Dauntless and Factionless attacking anything in front of them. I push all of them in a few seconds while run to the ladder.

A vague sense of hope spreads through my body. Because it must be a bad joke. That's what it should be, because there is another way that Jeanine going to be attacked in the same place I begged for her to stay.

Gasping, I arrive to the top floor. I don't see Tori anywhere, but I hear.

\- My brother's name. - Tori says, her voice gloomy and threatening - I want to hear you say it.

I run to the laboratory door.

No. That should not be. Caleb should be looking after her.

But I also knew Jeanine, and I should have known that she would not allow. Damn.

I enter and see with horror that my fantasies were just that: fantasies. And acting on pure instinct, I run forward, getting between Tori and her goal.

There, everything comes to a halt.

The silence is deep, sinister, menacing. Jeanine is against the wall, her eyes frightened despite the cold mask. I'm ahead of her, with my arms protectively outstretched, blocking the way of all and everything that can reach her.

In the laboratory door, Tori is standing, pointing the gun towards us. Her face is fierce like a wild animal. Tears roll from her eyes and her hands are shaking.

My breath is panting and I can feel the adrenaline running through my veins. But isn't an adrenaline the good kind, that I used to feel when i ran behind a moving train, or when I went down in the zipline.

That is an adrenaline that someone feels while fighting for life.

 _Separate her from Jeanine._ I think with determination _Don't let her touch Jeanine._

Outside, I know that chaos is complete and absolute, but I can't care. Because all my efforts are centered on keeping her alive.

My eyes focus in the gun pointed in my direction. Instinctively, I take a step back, getting nearer to Jeanine.

\- Tris, please get out of here. - Jeanine's voice sounds behind me - You promised me you would keep yourself safe. Let her do what she wants to do. Get out of here now.

I ignore her completely.

\- Tori. - I breathe deeply and take another step back - Tori please don't do that.

Tori looks at me, my arms outstretched, the panic in my face, Jeanine against the wall.

\- Tris. - she shakes her head ruefully - I didn't think you was a traitor.

\- You don't understand. - I say, still calm - I know it's hard to understand, but you need to listen to me.

Tori doesn't hesitates even for a second. Instead, she pulls the trigger of the gun, pointing to a space where my arms don't reach, a space where Jeanine is unprotected. I take a step aside, covering the hole.

My eyes get stuck to her, fierce and desperate, and I think she reads the message they convey.

She looks from me to Jeanine, confused at first, but then the understanding reaches her.

\- Oh! - Tori's eyes widen - So that's it. You ... You two have a case.

\- Put the gun down, Tori. Please.

\- I'm sickened. You, of all people ... But I don't care if you're sick enough to have romantic feelings for a psycho. None of this makes any difference. Now get out of the way. I don't want to hurt you.

\- It's not just my feelings, Tori. - my voice is weak and shaky - It's a lot more than that. Listen to me. She knows something very important. Something that explains everything, that will change everything. You still don't understand, and I also didn't understand before. But now I know, and I just need you to let me explain ...

The gun fires, and I hear a yell.

In the same second, my eyes look for Jeanine. She's fallen against the wall with her hands on the injured leg. She was shot.

In a surge of adrenaline, I throw myself against Tori with all my strength. I grab her arms and try to wrest the gun from her hand. Similarly, she resists, pushing my arms, moving away the gun from my reach. After a while, my arms are weak and sore. I will not be able to. It will be a matter of seconds before she beat me.

I look at the gun and suddenly I have an idea.

I grab her fist harder, and Tori cries out in pain. Then I push her hand - the hand that is holding the gun - against her own head. The heavy lead gun crashes into her forehead, making a horrible crack. The blood flows, red and abundant, and Tori falls unconscious into the ground along with the gun.

Jeanine continues fallen against the wall, also trembling and breathing heavily. Her eyes are wide and she's pale.

Seeing her, I feel all my strength returning. A wave of insane energy flows through my body and I reach her in three steps.

\- It's okay. - I whisper, hugging her - Nobody will hurt you. Ended.

\- It's not over yet, but I think it is a good start.

I look at her leg and shudder. The wound is deep and sheds a lot of blood. She tries to hide it, but I have also got shot before and I know, by the way she's pale, that pain is so strong that she can hardly breathe.

All I want is take Jeanine and run away from all this chaos, but I know that's not possible. We are in the midst of a war, and no one escapes running from a war.

\- We need to take care of it. - I say looking at the open wound in her leg - We need to find a way out of here. I can find my brother and...

Before completing my sentence, I feel someone approaching.

My body automatically prepares for the fight, but it's paralyzed when I see the person at the door.

Tobias.

\- Tris?

I feel a piece of the world fall apart.

Tobias is incredulous, and I remember all the times he was on my side. He was my best friend, and now I would disappoint him forever.

\- Tobias ... You need to get out of here now.

He looks at Tori fallen on the ground, then at me hugging Jeanine, protecting her. Jeanine returns the look in the coldest way she can through the pain.

\- Tris ... What do you ...?

\- Tori is fine. Take her out of here, but go away. You need to leave now.

\- Tell me that's not true ... Tell me I'm understanding it all wrong. Did you do that to save Jeanine?

\- Tobias ... please.

Tobias's expression is a mixture of anger and disappointment. A deep and painful disappointment.

\- You has nothing to do with it. - Jeanine says, grimacing in pain and holding her injured leg - Leave her alone.

Tobias didn't even looks at her. He seems not to notice Jeanine there. His eyes are only for me.

\- I'm preventing them to kill her. I know very well that she hasn't done good things, and that all that's going is her fault. But I love her anyway.

\- What?

\- I will not explain it now, but all I want is prevent her from being killed. I will not let them kill her.

\- But she will die, whether you want it or not.

And Tori regains consciousness. She takes the gun that had fallen beside her and shoots.

The horrible isn't the noise of the shot. It's the silence that follows.

And more horrible still is the bloodcurdling scream that escapes from my throat.

Jeanine releases a horrible sound - a gurgling, screaming, dying sound - and her eyes turn into glass.


	8. Intervention

I always heard the people saying that circumstances change our way of to see things. That our perception of the same situation can be different according to our emotional state.

Now, I can say that I understand perfectly. Because there, my perception was totally changed.

Suddenly, I couldn't see Tori in the same way. Looking at her, I could no longer see the woman who had administered my aptitude test. I couldn't see the person who had protected my secret, the person who had helped me.

I could only see the woman who had killed Jeanine.

Seeing the lifeless body of the woman I loved, all my pain turns to hatred. And the hatred is the fuel that renews my strength.

The numbness that surrounded me from the moment in which I heard the shot goes away, and I can see everything very clearly.

I walk toward her and pull the gun from her hands.

Tori don't fight. Maybe because she had already got what she wanted, or because she is also shaken.

I point the gun toward her head.

\- I'll kill you! - I don't recognize my voice. Because it isn't quite a voice. It's more like a wild and animalistic snarl. - You will die now!

\- Come on, Tris. - Tori says - Shoot me to avenge Jeanine. Shoot, if you think that is the right thing to do.

The gun shakes in my hand. My finger wants to pull the trigger, but something stops me. I can't shoot, and this infuriates me.

\- Tris ... - Tobias says in a low and frightened voice - That will not change anything. Please, drop the gun.

\- Shut up! - I cry to him - I'll kill her. Now.

My body is on fire. My vision is blurred, and my teeth are so tight that I feel like they can break at any time.

Tori must die. She killed her. My Jeanine. Tobias's voice sounds in my brain like an echo, but the disaster isn't in this room. The disaster is within me.

\- You aren't a killer, Tris.

Tobias is pale and terrified. I want to erase the worry on his face, but I am unable to deviate the gun from Tori.

\- It's too easy to become a killer, Tobias.

\- And ending up like Tori? It's easy become a killer,Tris! What isn't easy is deal with that later!

Tobias's cry makes me start to tremble. My attention doesn't deviates from Tori, and I'm sure she is looking for a opportunity to take me the gun.

\- I know you couldn't, Tris. You couldn't bear the weight of a murder.

I lower the gun while tears flood my eyes. Then, I drop it in the ground and run toward the figure dressed in blue.

The silence is deafening. Tobias takes Tori in his arms and goes, wanting - I think - give me privacy.

I take Jeanine's head on my lap. She looks calm now, almost peaceful, with no sign of the pain that this distorted protective instinct caused her.

\- No ... - I whisper, like a child who doesn't want to accept the truth - No. _No!_

I remember her last and desperate kiss. I remember both of us making love under the glass ceiling with view of the sky.

Her voice is still clear in my mind.

 _''If they kill me, then it will have been worth.'' ''Your life is more precious than mine.''_

Now she's dead.

And then I start to cry. I cry louder and louder, I cry until my chest ache, until my lungs are burning owing to breathlessness. But even this is pointless as trying to drain the sea using a bucket. The pain is like walls closing up around me. I feel that I will be crushed by it.

I lower my head, touching my face in hers, my tears wetting her cheeks. Her skin is still warm and soft, but I know this will be short-lived. Soon, she will be cold and stiff, in the same way that my heart will be from now on. Because right now, I feel that a part of me also died.

I don't know how long I remain so, my arms wrapping around her.

A small and remote part of my brain is aware of the things out there. I hear voices downstairs, urgent steps walking amid the postwar turmoil, discussions. Nevertheless, I can't find the strength to move me from where I am. Not even the will.

I feel as if time had stopped. As if I were a world apart, without any contact with anything or anyone. My body could be made of air instead of flesh and blood. I wouldn't even notice the difference.

I bury my head in the crook of her neck, while more sobs flow from my chest. At some point, I feel something that catches my attention. A whiff of air.

A whiff of air. A breath.

The dead don't breathe, then it can only mean one thing.

I feel the hope rising, winding threads around me like a weed. I hold the newly born hope at the same time in which I try to reject it. I know I will not be able to bear if this hope is a mistake.

Without thinking longer, I grab her hand and check her pulse. There is still pulse. Weak, but existent.

\- Help! - I scream so loud that my throat hurts - Somebody help me!

She is alive.

The relief still can't get to me, because I know that this fact can change every second.

Tobias walks in the door.

\- Tris?

\- Find a doctor! - I growl at him - _Now!_

But Tobias didn't need to call anyone.

Before I finished speaking, I hear more sounds of turmoil than before.

Gunmen in white uniforms come through the door. They put Tobias against the wall, and approach me with menacing steps.

\- Lean against the wall! - shouts one of the guards.

\- NO!

By dint, they separate me of Jeanine. Two more men enter and raise up her body. Her red blood blights the white of their coats. I keep struggling and almost can escape three times, but the men are very strong.

\- Stop. Don't hurt her.

A woman in white clothes enters the laboratory.

She's tall, a few centimeters taller than men. Her hair is long and brown, and her eyes are calm as a summer lagoon. She orders them to let me go and I find myself free.

\- Jeanine ... need a ...

\- It's on the way, Beatrice Prior. But you still can't leave. Mrs. Eaton still resists, and it's better not take any risk that you to get hurt.

\- Where is she?! - Tobias screams.

\- We don't want cause any harm to your mother, Mr. Eaton. We just want her to stop shooting at people.

She turns to me. Strangely, she seems quiet, and looks me in a weird way.

\- My name is Angela Roth. - she says - And the conflicts within this city end here.


	9. Complications

I breathe deeply for the umpteenth time in the last thirty minutes.

Standing in front of the Erudite hospital wing, my will is simply break off the doors and run to Jeanine's side, and there's a part of me that still thinks seriously about this possibility.

Nevertheless, I can still keep my rational part in control, because this isn't the time to let my reckless behavior dominate me. Nor the place.

Mentally, I thank the people who protected that place. I not want to think what would happen to Jeanine without adequate medical equipment.

Her last image in my mind still tortures me every second, making breathing hard. Her inert body, bloodied, without consciousness. The memory hurts like I was living it all over again.

No. Maybe it's an exaggeration to say it. It's not like I was living it all again.

It's bad. Bad enough to make me feel breathlessness, to make me feel like crying, but it's nothing compared to I had felt at the thought that she was dead.

The memories invade my mind and my brain automatically rejects them as a defense mechanism. I don't believe being able to feel this pain again and still keep my sanity.

I look at the scene of destruction around me. Someone shot at Jeanine's portrait and drew a huge "X" with red ink on her face. I feel a twinge of sickness and take my eyes from it.

And finally, there is Angela.

This mysterious woman takes up most of the small space of my brain that can to think of something besides Jeanine.

Who is she? Where she comes from and why she is here?

I remember the way she appeared - as if by magic - and simply decreed the end of the conflict. As if she were some kind of authority, as if she knew and understood exactly what was happening and most importantly, why it was happening. Her attitude - the loftiness and the severity of her words, despite her calm face and her gentle voice - reminded me Jeanine. Those were the characteristics of a true leader.

And, probably, she's. Leader of something I don't know.

Then a twinge of suspicion arises in my mind: Is Angela working for the Bureau? To David and all those things that Jeanine told me? That would explain her sudden appearance, and the fact she seems to have full knowledge of everything. If she were from within, with all that authority, I certainly already would have known her, or at least have heard of her.

I think about the fact she's with Jeanine right now while she's being cared. Suddenly, the idea of break off the doors isn't that bad.

I'm taken away from my thoughts when a figure approaches me.

The girl in front of me is very familiar. Her skin is dark brown and she wears black clothes that are worn owing to combat. There is a cut on her left eyebrow.

\- Christina?

I run to her and throw myself into her arms. She doesn't return the hug with the same enthusiasm. When she looks at me, her eyes are sad, almost resentful.

\- Tris.

Automatically, I look away. I remember that, to Christina's eyes, I'm still being tested by Jeanine. It's not supposed I'm here concerned for her life.

\- Tell me that it's a mistake.

\- You'll have to be more specific.

\- Tell me that you don't joined to Jeanine's gang. - she says, fixing her eyes on mine.

I breathe slowly.

\- Not true.

\- Oh, Tris! I knew it couldn't be true! Four must be in some silly mistake and ...

\- I never went to her side. All I wanted was to keep her alive.

Christina's face turns to stone. I never saw her so confused and alone.

\- Why would you want to do that?

I take a deep breath, refusing to look away. If I was facing the responsibilities for my choices, I would do it without lowering my eyes.

\- Because ... Listen, Christina. I know this is hard to believe but ... I love her. I love her and we are together now. I can explain it all to you with all the details, I swear I'm not crazy ...

I realize she's not paying attention to me. My friend's look remind me Jeanine. Totally petrified.

\- Do you have become ... crazy, Tris?

No. She wasn't really listening to me.

\- Chris ...

\- How? When? Why? Oh God, she must have broken your brain with so many damn serums. You don't know what you are saying ...

\- Christ ...

\- That must be it! You're under her control. We need to get help before...

\- Christina, I'm not under any control! I'm serious. I know it's rare, but it happened and I will not change it. Nothing will do. So please, calm down.

\- Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm when my best friend is telling me she's playing house with ... with ... her, by God!?

Christina shakes her head in disbelief. She gives me a lost look, as if she don't recognized me.

For the first time in all this time, I got a glimpse of the consequences of my choices. I realize that this scene will be repeated very often from now on. I will have to deal with questions, with disappointed looks, with judgments.

\- Christina please...

\- No. - she murmurs - You're not Tris. I no longer recognize you.

Christina gives me a hurt look and leaves. I want to run after her, I want say I can explain, but I realize that this will have no effect.

\- That hurts in the beginning. But eventually, It will get better.

The voice scares me. I turn quickly to see Angela's quiet and expressionless face. She seems to have come out of the blue.

\- What do you know? - I say staring her.

\- Time heals all wounds. Over time, your loved ones will start accepting it, and if not, at least respect it. - Angela smiles a little. She has a very strange smile. - Once Jeanine compensate her actions, and with time, things will take its course.

\- What's that of "compensate her actions"? - I ask, trying not to sound too harsh.

\- She's alive, right? She was sure she would die, but now she have more life ahead. She can no longer prevent the city from be taken, so she will do all she can do: start over, do good things. And that's thanks to you.

She turns aside, leaving the door open.

\- She's still unconscious, and quite bruised. But you can to enter and see her.

I don't need more words. I quickly run to the door, but before I enter, she speaks again.

\- Answer me one thing. - the smile disappears - Who shot her?

A presentiment shakes my chest. I think about Tori, about everything that we've been through. She applying my aptitude test. She tattooing my chest. She shooting Jeanine.

No. I can't to think about this, but I will not have Tori's blood in my hands.

\- I do not know.

Angela looks me in the eyes, very intently. This weird eyes feel like a black hole inside my head.

\- Okay.

I breathe relief.

\- Only 15 minutes. Soon, do you will have to leave.

And without another word, she turns and leaves.

Without wasting more time, I enter into the hospital room. Jeanine's room is very bright. All white.

And then I see her, and at this moment, I feel the relief flooding my lungs together with air. It's like I was holding my breath the whole time from the moment when the men in white took her away from me. For the first time in hours, I can breathe.

She has a large oxygen mask on her face, and wires glued to her chest and shoulders. The wounds that the shots caused are wrapped in bandages, and the gray eyes that I love so much are closed. The beeps of the cardiac monitor give a gloomy and hopeful air to the scene. Gloomy because she's there, wounded. Hopeful because despite that, her heart still beats.

And each monitor beep is the most precious sound in the world for me.

I approach the bed and take one of her hands in mine. Hot tears run down my face.

\- Oh, Jeanine ... - I whisper with a faltering voice - Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I promised that I would protect you. I wanted so much protect you, but I couldn't. Now, you must be strong. For both of us. I love you ... please don't leave me.

I breathe a few times and close my eyes.

"You'll be fine." I say with a firmer voice "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You'll be fine."

I don't know if she can hear me, but I want to believe so. Holding her hand and looking at her face, I feel like I can stay here forever. For as long as necessary until her eyes are opened.

Slowly, my hand wraps her face. Her warm and soft face, so like it should be. I close my eyes, enjoying the heat. I have a burning desire that she just open her eyes and say my name, accompanied by a sarcastic phrase, but I know that's not possible. Not for now.

\- I'm sorry, Tris. - I hear a voice behind me. And then, a hesitant touch on my shoulder. Caleb.

I turn to look at my brother. His face have a expression of sorrow.

Hearing his voice, the knot in my throat tightens and I'm unable to say anything.

So, he just hugs me, and I support my head on his shoulder.

\- She would not let me stay with her. - he says - As soon as you left, she sent me to follow you. To protect you and not her.

\- It's all right. - I whisper - It's not your fault. I know her very well. How did you entered here?

He shrugs.

\- It wasn't too difficult. With the confusion that's out there, I don't think someone was really paying attention to me.

\- I failed, Caleb. - I murmur weakly - I failed to protect her. If I had been quicker, if I had pulled the gun from Tori's hand...

I shake my head, but the tears continue forming in my eyes, blurring my vision.

\- Don't say that. - he puts his hands on my shoulders - You've been very brave, but unfortunately some things are beyond our control. She'll be fine.

He keeps looking at me, and suddenly, his face becomes dark, as if he had just remembered something. Something bad.

\- Caleb? Is something wrong?

He twists his hands nervously and sighs.

\- Damn ... I hate to give bad news. Especially in moments like this.

\- Caleb, no matter what it is, you need to tell me now.

\- Now there is an added complication, Tris. You are in a bad situation.

I stare him back, impatiently.

\- What do you mean by that?

\- Tori. - he finally says - She told everyone you tried to kill her to protect Jeanine. And now they want you to be tried as a war criminal.

 **...**

 **Don't forget to write me a review ;) I would like to know your views on this story.**


	10. Uncertainties

For a second, I'm too stunned to say anything.

\- They want make me a judgement? - I answer - And if I'm found guilty, what the sentence will be?

Caleb just looks me.

\- Great. That was all I needed. - I say, wearily. This, definitively, is the most stressful day of my life. - It appears that Tori doesn't give up.

\- Tris. - Caleb takes my shoulders again - It's your words against hers. There is no evidence. At present, Jeanine's judgement is in everyone's mind.

\- What? - I let out. Then I remember my wound girlfriend next to me, and I mentally scold myself for to raise my voice.

Jeanine's judgement. It has to be a joke. Just when I had managed to save her, they want to take her from me again. It has to be a stupid joke.

But it isn't.

Strangely, this time I'm not altered. There isn't uncontrolled anger or devastating desolation. I force myself to take long breaths, closing my eyes.

When I open them, Caleb is looking me uncomfortable.

\- Now it doesn't matter.

\- Tris, you and Jeanine can be...

\- We'll think of something in the future. - I cut him short - Before, answer me something. To whom, supposedly, we would be judged? Marcus Eaton is no longer leader, neither our father. Max is dead, and I think that the Erudite leader will not be able to participate. - A sharp pain twists my stomach. - That lets only two factions working. Not to mention the mysterious group that came out of nowhere e now have us under their control. I don't think that this city is able to execute judgments.

\- It is. Jack Khan demands justice, and Joanna Reyes, the end of the conflict. But maybe we may have a chance if the people outside of the fence take power.

A shiver runs down my back.

\- No. The people outside the fence should not approach of here for nothing in this world.

Caleb sighs. He knows I'm hiding him things, but he doesn't want pressure me. I thank him mentally. Later, he would know.

\- Then, we have only the woman in white and her pacifists. I hope she can do something.

Our conversation ends there. Caleb goes away to leave me alone with Jeanine, but he promises to return in the morning.

I realize that it's been more than fifteen minutes, but nobody came to take me away by force. Nor Angela had appeared. Maybe it was something good.

I return to my place in the chair, beside her. For a moment, I wish that Caleb hadn't gone. Thus, I could vent my sorrows in my brother's shoulder. But I can't allow myself it. Not yet. I still need to fight for my future and Jeanine's. But I wish she were conscious to be by my side.

I start to stroking her blonde hair, hoping she can feel my touch. Maybe she can. I want to believe so.

I lean to kiss her forehead, then her eyes, then her cheek. The mask prevents me from kiss her lips. I stroke her chin and her neck.

\- I hope this woman is right, and that all of this compensates all your stupidities, Jeanine Matthews. To me, particularly, it's costing many concerns. - I stroke her cheek again and take her hand - I don't even ask you to change. I don't want you to change. I want you to be yourself. I want to you wake up. Make it worth everything we've been through and wake up, Jeanine. I'll be here when you do. - I approach my face to hers. Although I can't kiss her, the closeness comforts me. - You're as crazy as I am. Don't you dare leave me alone with my madness, you understand?

Then I just fall asleep on her lap.

…

A noise wakes me.

Fighting sleep, I can see a figure slowly opening the door in the dark, and entering the room as quietly as possible. The figure is so silent that surprises me having heard, but quickly I lean on the floor.

The room isn't completely dark. The moonlight comes through the window, illuminating everything very weakly, but even with the dim light I can see, from my hiding, the brightness of a dagger, and my reaction is automatic.

With all the speed of the desperation, I throw myself against the figure. Its moment of surprise is too short, and the figure tries to attack me.

I'm firmly holding the hand with the dagger, attacking with my legs and my left fist, how I had learned in Dauntless.

And then I see the face and recognize the figure.

Evelyn Johnson. Tobias's mother.

My perplexity lasts just two seconds and then it gives way to determination.

I might have failed the first time, but I don't would to fail now. Jeanine don't would be hurt again.

I gather my strength and focus on everything that causes me angrier. I think of Peter throwing me out of the abyss, the reports that Erudite wrote against my former faction, even Evelyn trying to get me away from Tobias. I imagine her, rather than Tori, holding the gun and shooting Jeanine.

It could well have been her. Evelyn hates Jeanine as much as Tori.

And she's holding a dagger with the intention of injuring an unconscious person.

This is enough. My vision becomes red, and I hit my fist with all my strength in her chin. She groans out in pain and lets the dagger to fall on the ground. I catch it in a second.

\- I always knew, Tris ... I always knew that you was a traitor. I tried to warn Tobias that you wasn't trustworthy. - she looks Jeanine on the bed, and my protective stance in front of her - This is ridiculous. How is this possible?

\- Nothing is impossible, Evelyn. - I mumble, not losing my cool yet - Only what you want. You will never to touch her.

And then the lights come on.

Three white soldiers come into the room. One of them takes the dagger of my hand, and the other two struggle to stop a furious Evelyn.

I'm starting to believe that these guys never come when they are needed.

\- By her fault this city is in chaos! And you defends her! You're as despicable as her!

\- It's forbidden to shout in hospitals. - I say coldly.

They take her as fast as they can.

I go to the hall to watch while they lead her. I want to be sure she will be as far as possible from Jeanine. I'm beyond the anger, and I just feel a strange coldness through my head. I don't even blink while Evelyn writhes in the arms of her captors, being taken by force to who knows where.

\- Can you explain what happened, miss? - asks the third guard, who stayed.

I report to him what happened, and he listens without interrupting. I don't take long.

\- We will double the guard, we don't know how Johnson could sneak. We've been looking for her.

I'm about to loose an expletive against the man. "She would not have arrived here if you do your job right." I think.

I will have liked to say, but I don't say. The fight made me, if it's possible, even more emotionally tired than before.

\- I'm sorry, but you can't stay longer in the room.

This words reach me like a needle in my chest.

\- I'll say goodbye.

\- Just one minute.

I go back inside without answering the soldier. Slowly, wanting to record in my memory everything I can of my lover's face, I kiss her hands, taking my time with each finger.

I lean to her ear.

\- I Love you. And I will return soon.

Then I leave the room without looking back.

…

I go out of there thinking about finding Caleb.

Finding my brother seems the best option now that I can't be next to Jeanine. Maybe something has changed since the last time we met, and although the changes are happening lately just to worse, it's better know what I will supposedly to face and be prepared.

The corridor is dark. Some Erudites are out there, trying to clean up the mess, trying to save what can be saved from their faction. The hospital ward is full of wounded.

I walk hastily, looking at the people around, trying to find a familiar face.

And then I find. Two very familiar faces. My parents.

In recent days, I've been wondering about this reunion too often. And I had no idea what I would feel at the time. If fear or relief.

Now I know are the two.

My mother is the first to run up to me and embrace me.

\- Thank God you're alive! - she holds me in her arms as if she wasn't to let me go ever again - I was so afraid of something happening to you ... Are you okay? Are you hurt?

\- Yes and no. I'm fine. And no, I'm not hurt. I'm so happy to seeing you ...

I embrace her again.

Over her shoulder, I can see my father behind her. His eyes are sad and accusers, and a shiver runs down my spine.

They know. Of course they know.

I loose myself from my mother's arms. She smiles at me and touches my face tenderly.

I step forward to face the eyes that stare at me accusingly.

\- Dad ...?

I expect him to say something. I expect he start to yelling at me, accusing me. Anything would be better than this silence.

My father closes his eyes for a moment, as if the tired of the years was too heavy. When he opens his eyes again, they are wet, but he don't leaves himself cry. He steps forward and hugs me silently.

I leave out a sob of relief, but also cry. About it, he and I are very similar. I have the best of both my parents.

\- Dad ...

\- Don't say anything, Beatrice. Just don't say. - he says burying his hands in my hair - Let me have this moment in silence. Please.

\- Don't you hate me ? - I whisper like a four year old girl. I feel the same way.

\- I could never. - he says whispering in my shoulder - I guess I believe in Karma. My personal war with Jeanine is too frustrating to remember now ... It was all my fault. If I had done something ... But I was a selfish child. Selfish and blind. I had her in front of me for so long, and I never did anything. I ...

\- Dad, what are you talking about?

\- I should have helped her. We were just kids, but she never really was a kid. She was barely human. And slowly we began to hate each other. No, I began to hate her. I ...

My father bites his lip, hard. Then, just lets me go and go away as fast as he can.

I stand there, confused and shocked for a while. The hand on my arm startles me.

\- What he are you talking about?

\- You know he was an Erudite, right? - my mother whispers.

\- I discovered recently. - I say remembering the night at the bonfire, when a Factionless made me realize that I knew very little about my parents.

\- When your father was eight, he was orphaned. He had to go live with a family friend. The Matthews's house.

\- My father and Jeanine ... grew up together?

\- Yes. They grew up together. Hating each other for seven years. They competed. Fought. And most of the time, they tried to ignore each other. Jeanine's mother had eyes only for Andrew, which caused resentment in Jeanine, and Jeanine was better at everything she did, which caused anger in Andrew.

\- That's why they have always hated each other. - I whisper.

\- They may now having something in common. - my mother says looking into my eyes - I will not judge you, baby. Just ... don't mention her when you are with us. For now. Maybe in time, and if things improve, that will change. But for now, the Jeanine subject is a taboo.

I nod.

It seems like a sensible option, and it will save me of many unnecessary headaches, at least for now. In the future, I would try to fix things. I can give up of many things for Jeanine, but I don't want give up of my parents.

Mentally, I remember that it might not be necessary. After all, we will be judged. Possibly, we will going to die.

And I have no idea how to avoid it.

 **...**

 **Thanks for reading this, and don't forget the review ;)**


	11. Promise

I'm in a black nothingness. Floating in space.

I like to be here. No noise, no pain. Only peace and quiet.

I know I'm dreaming. But still I do not care. I'm dreaming. Now I do not need to be strong and brave. No need to pretend a force I don't have. At last I have peace of mind.

I know it's a dream. And I do not care.

I'm almost surprised that she takes so long to appear, but she finally does. She is swimming in this ocean of dark peace, a few meters above me. I can see her.

She is perfection in person, with her wavy blond hair and her smooth skin. Inevitably I search her eyes, silver as the more fine metal. My eyes are poisoned in the elixir of her smile.

Jeanine pushes herself with her legs and comes to me. I wait her with open arms, and I receive her in the midst of this strange peace. She buries her nose in my neck, as I know she would. She loves being there, and I love she is. My arms are her home and I can stay that way for long.

A knock on the outside disturb me.

No. I don't want to wake up. I don't want. Everything is a mess and if they really is going to condemn me for betrayal, I want this moment to last.

Jeanine begins to fade in my arms.

\- No. Do not go!

But the figure keeps fading.

\- Jeanine ...

But she can't stay here even if she wants. Because she isn't real.

I awake between the mess of the sheets. An orange light comes through my window, illuminating everything with heat shadows.

Someone still is knocking on my door. I quickly put on a black shirt and get out of bed, shivering a little.

I don't stop to think about what I could look like. It really never occurred to me to think of myself.

But when I open the door, I don't think about find Angela.

\- Good morning, Beatrice Prior. Is it true that you are being accused of betrayal?

Even if these eyes still scared me a little, I'm glad to see her. This means that in a way, I'm not completely alone.

I sigh and run my hands through my short hair.

\- Please, Angela.

She listens to my story carefully. Her face doesn't alter even when I tell her about Tori and the moment she had shot Jeanine.

I need to breathe several times in this part. Reliving the scene makes me feel as if the shot had hit me too.

\- Every minute that passes is a silent torment. - I tell her at the end of everything - Every second away from her, every moment of uncertainty. It's unbearable.

Angela looks at me curiously.

\- Are you the Divergent who Jeanine was testing, right?

My face becomes red.

\- And you wonder how I ended up as her girlfriend? - I try to smile, but it costs me much effort. I just can't. - I also wonder it. But I can't answer. Neither did she. None of us have any idea.

\- I told Jeanine that falling in love was dangerous ... - she has an almost amused expression on her face, as if she were remembering something - and she assured me that this would not happen. As if people had control over this kind of thing.

This time, I can smile a little.

\- I never thought she was capable of loving. And yet, she loves me.

Angela nods.

\- Love does that to people. It saves them when there is no more salvation. You saved Jeanine, Beatrice. In many ways. In ways you don't even imagines.

I want to respond to her, but if I pronounce any word , I'll start to cry.

\- When is the judgment? - she asks suddenly.

\- Within three days or so. That's according to Caleb.

Angela presses her lips together.

\- We need to think of something to get you out of this situation. And soon after, think of something else to get Jeanine out of the same situation. This will be very difficult.

\- Everyone is against her. - I mutter bitterly - Anyone in that city would be happy to condemn her.

\- Jeanine made many mistakes. I warned her of the risks, but she was blind.

\- She's the one who knows the truth. - I complete - I can't imagine how I would deal with that alone, if I were in her place.

Suddenly, something occurs to me.

The truth that only Jeanine knew. The reason she did everything she did. Reason that would lead many people to do exactly the same.

\- Angela! - I call her, alarmed. My heart beats strong in my chest. The flame of hope begins to light up inside me - That's an argument! We can use the truth to defend her! Maybe if they knew the truth she knows ... maybe we can have a chance!

Angela looks at me and I can see a light shining in her eyes. As if the flame of hope in my heart could also heat her.

\- That would work to save Jeanine. - Angela says, suddenly breaking eye contact - But saving you, it's a different matter. Tori accused you to the whole city. Jeanine having reasons or not, to the eyes of the world you're a traitor.

Her words were true. But if I could to save Jeanine, it would be enough for now. After everything, I would think of something about me.

\- Why Tori Wu hates her so much? - she asks, turning to me again. Her eyes shines with a strange light.

\- Her brother was divergent. - I say by way of explanation.

She didn't needed further explanation.

But still, I can't restrain myself and ask.

\- You know her, right? You know Jeanine.

Angela raises her eyebrows, as if my words were the more absurdity in the world.

\- You worry about her. That is why you want to save her. Not in a professional way, you really care about her. - I feel a shiver down my back. Could I really trust her? May or may not, I had no choice. Any. - Why do you care so much?

Angela looks at me with her disturbing quiet for a few seconds long, as if trying to read me inside. Her answer must have been successful because she reaches into the pocket of her white coat and pulls out a wallet.

She opens the wallet so I can see it. There is a collage of many photos of people smiling. She takes a photograph that looks old but well preserved.

In photography, there was a little baby two years old. The baby looked at the camera laughing, with her dimpled smile and small teeth. There were some colorful books with the baby.

Her clothes were blue, her hair had the color of white gold and her eyes were more silver than pure platinum.

I recognize her instantly.

The baby in the photograph is Jeanine.

It was something too amazing to me to look away. Jeanine looked like one of those porcelain dolls that were sold in the only toy store in town. Sometimes, when I was very young, I watched the dolls with a painful longing, until I grew up and the toy store was closed. The Abnegation hadn't toys.

I get the picture in my hands, feeling an involuntary smile on my lips. She was a beautiful baby.

\- I myself took this photo when I was 9 years old. - Angela murmurs, her voice strangely distant. - My family lives outside the fence. My father hated the Pure, or "Divergent". To face them, he developed a technique for increasing the Intellectual Coefficient. Something that only works in impure. He succeeded, he used in me. - Angela gently takes the photograph of my hands - Jeanine's father had contacted him, and did the same with her. Arguably, both of us are successful experiments.

My mouth feels dry, and I can feel a strange sensation inside me. A mixture of anger and panic.

\- What is the technique?

\- First, the baby must have the appropriate genes. Joshua Matthews had a couple of failed attempts, but he managed with cute baby of the photography. - Angela looks away, like she was embarrassed. - Second, must grow up with intense mental training. Emotions are not allowed. Hate, love, sadness. Nothing. Everything must be eradicated from the child.

Her words reach me like a bucket of cold water. This is the reason why Jeanine is as she is.

For a moment, I imagine the blonde baby alone in a corner, sad because no one approached her. Many times I felt alone when I was little, but what Angela had described was nothing like what I knew.

\- And third: must to learn a flawless self-control. To control impulses, desires, and even the physical and mental pain. Have you seen the scars on her torso, right? Those are the ones that could not disappear. Most fades with age. - Angela lifts the sleeve of her coat, showing small white scars. - But some of them never disappear.

I feel terrible.

I remember what I felt for Jeanine before. I remember how much I hated her, the times that I felt so angry that I wanted to make her awful things. Now I realize I never hated her. At heart, I always knew she was a constant presence in my life. When my father complained about her in the newspaper, and when I saw her picture on TV. I never felt hatred.

I felt frustration at not being able to approach her.

I always wanted to know if the image of that woman was something real.

And in the end, it wasn't. It was something completely different from what I imagined. Much more complicated. But it was something I liked more.

Unconsciously, I touch my tattoos, where she had been sleeping until a few days ago.

I promise to both, to her and to me, that if we overcame this, there will be nothing that can separate us. Nothing. And so will be. The only regret is having to know all this from Angela's mouth. But in the end, it doesn't matter, because when Jeanine awakening we overcome it together. It's a promise I intend to keep.

\- And I could not help her. - Angela seems human for a moment, in which she smiles sadly. - I failed. Virtually, it's all my fault. But I will not allow further suffering. Even if the Pure eliminate us.

I touch her hand and, though she didn't even moves, I know she feels better with the gesture.

It was just like that with Jeanine.

\- Maybe I'm stupid ... - I murmur, looking at her face - Maybe I'm naive as those princesses of fairy tales, but I have hope. I have hope that everything runs well without the need more disasters for this.

\- I hope you're right, Beatrice.

I sigh and pull my hand from hers. Angela seems to be lost. Lost in a million thoughts and memories. Memories, now I know, were not good.

\- Maybe I'm not right. - I reply, feeling an acute sadness in my chest - But I want to believe in the best while I still can.

The room is extremely quiet.

My footsteps echo on the white floor, and the cold dominates all I can feel. In a way, I'm used to it, because it's the same climate that received me every day. But still, every time I come here, it's like the first time.

That painful first time.

I walk to the bed and apply a long kiss on Jeanine's forehead.

\- Good morning, Jeanine.

She doesn't answer me.

The oxygen mask had been removed, which was a relief. This meant an improvement in her clinical condition. But the wires remained glued to her body and the heart monitor was still sounding its beeps.

Overall, I'd rather hear her heart touching my ear to her chest. A calm and reassuring sound, not a sharp and artificial sound. But in the current situation, it meant that she was alive, and that made me enjoy them, even if grudgingly.

I pull a lock of her hair behind her ear. Her skin never looked so pale, and her face remained the same: immobile, expressionless.

I remember the things that Angela had told me. I imagine the beautiful baby of the photo suffering those types of torture. I imagine that precious child growing up in the midst of fear and isolation, being devoid of any emotion.

I feel an intense and fierce desire to protect her. Just as I had felt when we kissed for the first time. A urgent and fierce need to not allow anyone or anything to hurt her.

I touch her face, and I imagine that at any moment she will react to my touch and open her eyes. And I will continue waiting for it until it happens.

\- You know ... - I whisper, stroking her face - I will be judged tomorrow.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to contain the cry that begins to form in my chest.

\- I'm being accused of betrayal because I have fought to save you. I will fight to defend me, Jeanine. I want to stay alive. By you. By us. But if this isn't possible, I want you to know that I don't regret anything. I don't regret defending you, of having loved you. I would do it again. I don't want you torture yourself for my death. It was my choice. It has always been my choice. And I would not do anything differently if I could change the past.

At this point, I can no longer hold back the tears. They simply slide down my face, hot, plentiful. My vision starts to blur and I clean the tears. I don't want to miss a single detail of Jeanine's face.

\- I'm sorry for all the things that you have suffered. I'm sorry for all the cruelty they have committed against you. I want to live to defend you at your judgment. I want it so much. I love you so much, Jeanine.

I not even realize the moment when I am in Caleb's arms. I don't even saw him enter.

He doesn't say me anything, just stands there, holding me in his arms as I tremble. After a few minutes, I lift my head to look into his eyes.

\- Caleb, I need you to do something important. If ... if anything happens to me, if the worst happens to me, tell Jeanine that I did not want to leave her.

Caleb just nods and hugs me again.

"I want to live!" I tell myself in thought "I'm not finished here."

I take a last look at Jeanine, then at my brother, then I put myself walking towards my destiny.


	12. Judgment

As much as I'd ever been in Candor before, I had never really watched the building. The lobby is large and well lit, with black marble flooring that extends to an elevator hall. A white marble tiles ring in the center of the hall form the symbol of Candor: a balance, representing the weight of truth against lies. Now, that room looked like something quite appropriate to the situation: a court.

I'm surprised to find that I am more quiet than I imagined, and my calm does not waver even when the Truth Serum is applied in my neck. I feel its effect instantly, but isn't oppressive. On the contrary, it is liberating. The truth was my greatest ally in this situation. There was nothing about which worth lying. I took a deep breath, with the same determination with which I left Jeanine in the hospital: survive.

\- Are you ready, Miss Prior?

I nodded.

Jack Khan was sitting on the table, leading the judgment. That somehow relieved me, because there no one that respects more truth and justice than he. He had no personal problem with me, so would not be eager to condemn me. Beside him was Johanna, and around, a crowd of people. Most of them wore black and white, the other not. These stood out easily and I know them very well. Tobias, Christina, Cara, Will, Caleb and my father and my mother among others.

The expression on their faces was of anguish, shame and resentment. Tobias looked at me the same way he looked at me when he saw me in the lab, with my protective arms ahead of Jeanine: disappointment.

\- Perfect. Then we start. Beatrice Prior, you are being accused of betraying your faction to help Jeanine Matthews. That's true?

My answer was as clear as crystal clear water.

\- No.

Jack shifted in his chair. His eyes were analyzing me thoroughly, as if trying to identify any lie trait. I was Divergent, after all.

\- There were reports that you were trying to protect her. How do you explain this fact?

\- As you well said, I was trying to protect her, no help her. I never wanted her to win the war, I was just trying to keep her alive.

\- And you could enlighten us what is the reason of that, Ms Prior?

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. My heart began to beat faster. I felt the Truth Serum running in my body, stirring in my veins, pushing the truth out of my mouth.

\- Because I love her.

I realized Tobias's face hardened. His lips tightened in a hard line, and his eyes darkened. The silence was absolute. Not even Jack had no answer for that.

\- You had a full awareness of the seriousness of her actions and yet wanted to protect her for personal reasons?

\- Yes.

I wondered if that judgment would come down to answer monosyllables all the time.

\- Can you explain this to us with details, Miss Prior?

No. This judgment would not come down to answer monosyllables all the time.

I sighed and changed position in my chair. People looked at me expectantly, as if they were finally to have the answer they all wanted, how I got involved romantically with Jeanine Matthews.

\- At first, I was the Jeanine's guinea pig - I said. -She was using me to develop the serum that work in the divergents. She wanted control over the divergents, and I was the divergent purer than she knew.

\- Would you gave yourself willingly? - Jack's voice was surprised and confused.

\- Yes. Jeanine put the Dauntless members in a simulation. Every other day, one Dauntless member committed suicide while I did not surrender to the Erudite headquarters. I saw Marlene jump ... I did not wanted anyone else dying because of me.

\- From what you report us, Jeanine Matthew murdered your friend, and yet you managed to fall for her. How was this possible?

\- Things have not taken the course planned - I answered. - Not for me, not for nobody. I had the chance understand it. That changed my perspective on everything.

\- A despite the death of your friend?

I thought of Marlene, her smile and her laugh. And I realized that I could not clearly remember. That made me feel like a horrible person. It made me feel guilty. But even if she had lived, nothing has changed. I still would have gone to Erudite. And I still would love Jeanine.

\- I failed her - I said, unable to contain the truth.

\- I'll ask the question another way. Do you care about your own feelings more than the life of your friends?

\- How many times I have to repeat it? I wanted to prevent people continue dying. I did not want any more death. From no one. And I succeeded, one can't deny that.

I looked into the audience, seeing at Lynn and Uriah for the first time. Uriah had the expressionless face, but the Lynn's look of hatred was too intense to look for too long.

Jack taked a deep breath. - What kind of test did Matthews on you?

\- She made me through simulations. Many simulations. In all she tried plunged me into them, to lose control, but never had success. At the end of the last simulation, she was so angry she entered the room, and lost control of her emotions. She yelled and screamed and we fight. I managed to free one of my hands ... a-and I smashed her face.

Remember doing more damage than I thought. I can not help remembering my nails into her face, my own murderous rage, her glare and hurt ... and how she bled after.

I bit my lip hard, remembering that I wasn't alone. I was here, to take responsibility for my decisions and not agonize or feel remorse.

\- What happened then?

\- It was assumed that she had to kill me. -I said quietly. -With Death Serum. She did not. With the help of my brother, I was injected with some strong kind of sleeping pill. I woke up a few hours later at her home. In her bed.

I heard someone laugh. I moved my head to the side and saw Peter trying to control his expression. I frowned. I had not noticed his presence there. Suddenly, the idea that Peter was watching my judgment, seeing me under the Truth Serum revealing every detail of my relationship with Jeanine caused me angry. I tried to ignore him. It was not relevant.

\- We had another fight, again - I continued. - I was irritated beyond endurance level. I hit her head against the wall, and then it happened so fast ... - I sighed, feeling the truth serum act - She yelled at me. She went on to talk things I did not understand. She exploded.

I closed my eyes, trying to regain my line of thought.

\- That was when everything changed. I wanted to comfort her, protect her, take that weight off your shoulders at all costs. I also thought it would be the perfect moment to kill her, but I could not. I felt I would do anything to not see the pain in her eyes.

\- You claim that Jeanine did not kill you because she also harbored feelings for you?

I just nodded.

\- And you said she told you things you did not understand. What exactly did she say?

My heart skipped a beat. The time had come. The time that I reveal the truth that could save myself and Jeanine. Or not.

\- On this, I can explain everything.

I noticed each person in the room looked at me with wide eyes. They had their eyes fixed on my face, like I was some kind of alien. I took my hands to Jeanine's jacket pocket. The Jeanine's jacket that was now being used by me. From there, I took the tiny black USB. I mentally thanked Caleb for being so smart.

\- This small object embodies the truth that will change everything. - I said, feeling a flame of confidence and excitement growing within me - You will have a new view of things after watching it.

Jack seems appalled.

\- You want to interrupt this judgement to watch a movie? Are you wanting to escape?

\- No, the judgment will not be interrupted. This is part of the judgment. It is essential for justice to be done. From this, you will have at least a small sense of why I protected Jeanine. You will understand that she is much more complicated than the psychopath who everyone thinks she is. - I looked at Jack - You want justice above all right? Then display it all and then proceed.

I extend the USB drive to Jack, and he picks up reluctantly.

I had already seen the video once, the day after visiting Jeanine in hospital. Caleb gave me access to her computer, and I watched it. When I knew the truth about the "Bureau", it seemed exactly what it was: ridiculous.

Jack put it on a huge screen on the wall, and all eyes turned to the images.

I saw the faces of everyone present. They ranged from confusion to disbelief. Some people began to mourn. The room was filled with a tense atmosphere. The video ended. In the room a noise wasn't heard.

\- That only gives us more reason to condemn Matthews - exclamed Lynn in charged silence.

Many people agreed with her. Tobias and Christina stayed away, and Uriah was gone. That made me feel a slight relief.

\- It is not what the video say! - I screamed. -It's what the video does not say! Divergents we are well received out there. But in the case of No-Divergents, they hardly consider them subhuman. All for some stupids genes standards. You want to live in a world where most of you would be less than trash? - I shouted angrily, looking at Lynn with an incipient anger.

\- This is very revealing - Jack admitted, embarrassed.

\- But it's certainly not relevant - Johanna added, speaking for the first time.

\- What? - I shouted incredulously.

\- Maybe, just maybe, the video is fake and you only try to help Ms Matthews. We only know what happens within our city. We need more evidence than that.

\- I'm on the damn Truth Serum, what more do you want?

All right, it's not overdo necessary - Jack leaned Johanna's ear and whispered something. Johanna nodded.

\- Let's believe in you for now, Tris - finally said the leader of Candor. -Even if you are diverging, is not so easy to resist serum.

I nodded, feeling relief running through my veins, spreading in every centimeter of my body, inside and out.

\- The video in itself says nothing. As I said earlier, the most important of all is exactly what it does not say. This is the reason for all the bad things that Jeanine did. Only she knew the real truth, the truth that none of the leaders of this city knew.

Everyone looked at me with utter shock. My father seemed totally unbelieving, as if he could not believe his ears, as if he was forced to understand Jeanine. Generally, I felt uncomfortable with the attention. Growing up in Abnegation taught me to be uncomfortable with it. But at that moment, attention did not mean vanity, meant chance to win. I was not going to let that opportunity escape me.

So I began to tell the things that Jeanine had told me. The words ''Divergent'', "Bureau of Genetic Welfare'', "Genetically damaged'', "Genetically Pure", "Experiment", and many other key expressions. That revelation drew sighs and gasps of surprise every minute. I could see incredulous looks, astonishment, anger and even hatred.

\- That's why Jeanine was willing to do anything. That's what she wanted to avoid the city know. For us to continue ignorant and safe inside the fence. She was driven by a strong and terrible protective instinct, horribly distorted. I recognize it, but with one goal: to protect this city. Everyone here in this room, divergent or not, would like to live out of the fence?

The room fell into an absolute silence. And that gave me even more confidence.

\- Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Jeanine is innocent. I know she has many sins at the hands, but who of us here do not you? Directly or indirectly, we all at some point we were responsible for the death of someone. Jeanine was willing to kill divergents. The Bureau has killed non-divergents for many, many years.

\- She ... - Christina muttered with difficulty, as if she were struggling to say whatever she was going to say. - She's right. Tris is right ... It may sound absurd but ... - her face twisted into a grimace of strangeness - Jeanine was right ... at some points. Only some points.

\- You finally passed to her side? - Lynn asked, her voice heavy with irony and anger.

\- I was Candor -Christina responds immediately. -I know identify the truth when it appears before me. We can not just ignore everything Tris said only becuase we hate Jeanine. That did she say changes everything, only a fool would not see it.

Lynn squinted, clearly offended. For a moment, I thought she would run up to Christina and strangle her, but she just took a deep breath and looked away.

\- As a Candor born -says Christina firmly. - I vote for Tris's absolution. About Jeanine, I haven't an clearly opinion. But Tris is not a traitor.

Her words filled me with hope.

But at that moment, the hope was nearly torn from my chest when Tori's voice broke the silence.

-Absolution? -she shouted. -No way we can do that! Absolution is only for the innocent. Tris tried to defend Jeanine Matthews. And Matthews is not, and never will be, innocent of her crimes. No matter what her reasons were: she must be punished for her crimes!

Half of the room, most Dauntless, shouted agree with her. People began to get up and angry. Johanna silenced they and turned to Tori.

\- We're not judging Matthews now, we are judging Beatrice Prior - she replied calmly. - Do you think she should pay for something, Tori Wu? Since you will be the next leader of Dauntless, your opinion is taken into account.

My blood froze at that time. If Tori became leader, my chances of save Jeanine was very much reduced. I did not let myself enter in panic. There was still nothing done. I had to think. Think...

Tori looked me straight in the eye. And I could see the tension in the person who was once my friend.

-Tris is only guilty of being under the Stockholm Syndrome. She did not kill anyone. She does not deserve punishment. Only Matthews- she said slowly.

-That, as I mentioned before, will be decided later. Your opinion will be heard and considered - said Jack. He looked twenty years older since the last time I looked.

\- Well, I think we can vote - Johanna rose. Her yellow and red clothes looked less colorful than usual. - Beyond all the heard today, and all the new revelations ... How many of you think Beatrice Prior must be punished for her charge of treason?

I saw many hands up... But it was less than half. I was saved. Saved.

\- The Present had found you innocent, Beatrice Prior -Johanna sat down. - You can retire, Miss Prior.

 **...**

 **Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave me a review!**


	13. Fighting

I pressed my hands until they ached. My heart raced until I was hard to breathe. Maybe I was even crazy. Maybe I was about to secure my conviction, minutes after being acquitted. I was probably about to ruin everything.

Then I thought of Jeanine in hospital. I remembered the time when I cradled her head in my lap, believing she was dead. I thought of my promise not to let anything or anyone cause her harm.

I took a deep breath and made my decision. I had to try, even if the chances of going wrong were very, very large.

\- Wait - I said, trying to sound the most confident and authoritative as possible. -This is not over.

Their reaction was exactly what I expected: confused looks and raised eyebrows at me. I tried to keep my unwavering expression and not to show how much I was terrified.

\- You could be explained, Ms Prior? - Jack said.

\- I told this is not over. There is still a pending issue: Jeanine Matthews.

I shuddered to say the words. I was putting in danger only to pronounce her name in that environment, in front of those people. I possibly was condemning her with that reckless attitude.

But then, I knew there was no choice. If Jeanine was judged alone, she would be condemned without hesitation. The risk of condemn her was interlaced to my single remote chance to save her.

\- I believe we can not discuss this now. Jeanine Matthews will have her own judgment.

\- Jeanine Matthews is in the hospital sector of Erudite in serious condition -Tori looked at me pointedly. She held my gaze without a minimum of compassion. -And no one knows for sure when she will wake up. I don't think she will be able to be judged in the future so close.

\- Are you trying to anticipate her judgment? Represent her?

I shrugged.

\- If that's what you mean ... yes. All I want is for you to hear what I have to say. We're here in a trial, it can not be that hard. And I believe it will be better for everyone if we solve these pending issues as soon as possible. After all these revelations, this city has many other things to worry about.

I looked intently at Jack and Johanna. They looked at each other for a few seconds and some kind of understanding happened between them.

\- It's all right. - Johanna said calmly. -You can speak for Jeanine. But in this way, her fate is in your hands. What is decided here will be fulfilled, there is no chance of return.

I felt a chill in my back, but nodded.

\- I want you to listen .. - I started. -I want you to listen and consider the reasons why I request to abolish death sentence to her.

\- Never! - Shouted Tori. -She will never be absolved! Never!

\- Silence, Tori - Said Jack. -You can give your word at the right time. For now, let Beatrice say what she has to say.

Tori looked at me with fury, and I forced myself to maintain the look. I needed to leave my side Erudite take control. I needed to be intelligent and persuasive.

I turned my eyes back to Jack and Johanna. I felt a sharp pain in my neck and realized that a man from Candor applied me another dose of truth serum.

Immediately felt the heat in my veins, agitation, desperate urge to dump the truth out of my mouth.

\- First, I want to make it clear that Jeanine is not innocent -I pressed my lips and closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing, which was already noticeably accelerated. I needed to control the effect of the serum as I spoke of Jeanine. No one there would have compassion for her that they have had for me. Anything I say could ruin everything. - Tori is right in that point. She isn't and will never be innocent of her crimes. But I believe that you should make an exception for her case, taking into account all that you know now.

\- Exception? -Tori said. - Are you crazy?

\- No, I'm not crazy. - I needed much effort to keep from screaming. - And please, Tori, you could be so kind as not to interrupt me?

Silence.

\- As I was saying ... - continued - Given the revealed truth, I think so, we are in for a dampening. You have seen the video and now know what exists outside of the fence, and you heard me and know the truth about what the video does not tell. After all this, you still believe that Jeanine did everything she has done for pleasure?

\- That isn't relevant - Tori says, energetically. -This does not justify her actions in any way.

\- All she ever wanted was to prevent us from the people outside -I exclaimed with a louder voice than hers. - She was alone with a terrible secret, being tormented by it day after day. I don't deny that she used extreme and arguably wrong means, but they were the only means she had at hand. She did absolutely nothing because she wanted to, but because she felt she needed.

\- This is the most ridiculous speech I've ever heard in my life ... - muttered Tori.

I closed my eyes trying to ignore her. To ignore anything to take away my attention.

\- You know? In the second fight we had, soon after I awake in her bed, when my hate for her dominated every part of me, she told me I did not know anything about her. I did not know what was the real despair, what was to be a prisoner. And I came to the conclusion that she was right. I did not know any of that. All of you didn't know either, but now know. And after all, you really think Jeanine is the biggest problem? If you want real justice, then they break the fence and bring David here. Because for every drop of blood that is in the hands of Jeanine, there is a river of blood at the hands of David.

The silence was absolute. After I spoke, I realized I was out of breath. There were beads of sweat running down my face, and I felt an extreme tiredness, unusual. As if I had just run two kilometers without stopping. The truth serum. Maybe they had applied me a very high dose.

-Tris? Are you alright? - Tobias asked in anguish.

I just shook my head in a positive way, and ran my hands over his face. I felt exhausted.

-Her arguments can not be considered -said Lynn. -She's in love and beside herself. She is using emotional blackmail to try to moves us, you may not realize it? She is distorting Jeanine's image before us, as if she were the victim, not the culprit.

Jack and Johanna exchanged a look of sorrow, and I already knew what was going to happen.

I took a deep breath, feeling the temperature of my body more low as ever. As if someone had injected cold water in my veins.

\- I just want to say one more thing -I was startled by the sound of my own voice. It seemed wrong coming from me. It sounded dangerous and threatening, and I knew that those present could also notice it. -And this is not an argument, it's just a fact: Jeanine and I are part of a single package. Thus, if condemn her, don't waste your time absolving me.

The first voice that I heard after that surprised me.

\- What? - Shouted Tobias - Tris, what are you saying?

\- Exactly what you heard -I realized that I sounded just like Jeanine.

\- No! - cried my mother, surprising everyone, even me. -No one will touch my daughter! Before you hurt her, you have to go through me.

The expression on her face contained a fury that I never had seen in her.

I let myself be involved in her love, but just it. I could not give myself the luxury of being weakened. All I needed was force. As hard as I could get inside me.

\- Mother ... - I whispered. -This choice is mine. You don't need to get involved.

\- If you can risk your life for someone you love, - she said - I think I have the same right.

So I see my father and Caleb stand beside her.

\- No one will touch them - he said. - Nor my wife, nor my daughter. I'm still Abnegation Leader, even though it isn't Marcus.

Caleb said nothing, but stood protectively in front of my mother. I remembered when he had invaded Jeanine's house to save me. Of how he had risked his life many times for me. I never realized how much I loved him.

Christina looked at me angrily. Her eyes seemed to give me a reprimand, but also seemed worry for my life. She sent an apologetic look at Will and ran to my family. Tobias followed her, and the two reinforced the line formed by my parents and Caleb.

\- I believe you know my opinion about it, Tris.

I saw Will's face turn pale. His eyes widened and he immediately ran to the side of Christina.

\- I'm sorry ... but I will not stand idly by while someone try to kill my girlfriend.

\- William! - Shouted Cara, putting in front of Will. - I have no sympathy for Jeanine, but if kill Jeanine means to kill my brother, then I will fight beside him.

Jack and Johanna looked at the scene with unbelieving eyes, and I should have the same expression of them. I realized than my friends had become an army. An army of people willing to give a life for others. Protecting me, and thus, protecting Jeanine.

For the first time during this trial, Jack and Johanna seemed powerless.

\- Justice must be done. - Jack said.

\- Not at any cost! - screamed Johanna - Can not you see? This will become a bloodbath! I will not allow it.

\- You are a very wise person. - Said a voice from the doorway, and everyone turned to look at her. - It is better to hear the girl, because she won't let anyone to hurt Jeanine idly.

\- Who are you? - Tobias asked, confused and shocked.

\- My name is Angela - the woman replied, taking a step ahead. -I want you to hear what I have to say.

…

Jack and Johanna looked resigned to the woman in the corner, who watched it all without even blinking.

-I understand that I must be under a serum that force me to tell the truth, right? - the woman asked, although I knew that she knew the method.

-What you would win from all this? - without restraint Jack asked.

-If you want to be sure of my answers should inject me first -she answered.

That woman was frightening in a way that Jeanine never was. Jeanine always had stiff face, without any emotion, with a slight expression of severity. Angela looked at everyone as if she were a child watching ants. She took my place, and I went with the others. My mother put a hand on my shoulder and Tobias took my hand tightly. The gesture was unexpected, but it comforted me a little.

Jack injected Angela in the neck. The woman barely moved.

-What is your name? - asked Johanna.

-Angela Roth.

-Who are you? - asked Jack. He had decided to stand.

-I am the head of the Association for the Rights of Non-Pure. Currently, one could say that we are in a kind of Cold War with the Bureau, as Beatrice Prior said before.

-Explain yourself better -said Johanna.

-The situation outside the fence is delicate. We can not afford to admit openly conflict with the Bureau. This is a silent war.

Jack and Johanna looked each other again.

-Why should we spare the lives of Jeanine Matthews? - Jack asked. He suddenly looked very tired.

-Because without her, most of you had already died years ago.

To my surprise, there was not one word of surprise or disbelief. Only a stunned silence.

-The number of "divergents" increased twenty years ago. For twenty years, the Bureau tries to get into the city, looking for some crack. But with Jeanine here they could never achieve. She had not had her Choosing Ceremony when she was stuck in this. That says a lot about a girl of fifteen, right? -she rested her chin on her hand.

Jack and Johanna were thoughtful, without let see any emotion.

-That's something hard to believe - slowly Johanna said.

-As Beatrice Prior said before: I am under the Truth Serum- withdrew her hand and placed it on her lap. -She received special training since she was two years -and her gaze fell. -Erudite Leader of that time and the technology leader sought to create a weapon who was a threat to the Bureau. They did it, right?

Angela turned and stared at Tori.

-Or at least that was until Miss Wu had the bright idea of trying to kill her.

-She is a killer -Tori replied. -Say what you want about it. Put the excuses you want, you and Jeanine's pet -Tori looked at me as if she felt disgust for me. -At the end of the day, she remains the same: A killer, a psycho, and a monster.

-I understand you did it in revenge for your brother George Wu ...- Angela continued as if it had not happened. -I bet you will feel really stupid when you know he's alive.

Tori's face changed for the first time. It became somewhat disfigured, with a look of pure anger and confusion and bottom of all, hope.

-Many of his alleged victims are outside, in the Bureau -she continued. - Today George is one of the David's assistants, as Amar- she turned to Tobias. He squeezed my hand so that hurt me.

\- Th-that can't be real ...

-Truth Serum, Miss Wu. I am rather tired of repeating.

And that's when the silence was broken and a thousand voices began to murmur deafeningly.

To know that Jeanine had not been responsible for the death of George Wu and Four's friend made me feel knocked out, and stupidly happy. My Jeanine. My strong, intelligent, beautiful, and emotionally damaged Jeanine was not a monster. I knew it, and now everyone knew it too.

I gave a sigh of relief that I never knew I was holding.

-And if that does not convince you that she should not die, you must know that she and I have a vow - Angela began to smile, with her bright smile and creepy at the same time. -If one of the two dies of unnatural way, the other has the obligation to exercise revenge. It is a relief that Tori failed to kill her, right? - Tori did not answer, was unable to do so. - But if you two decide to execute on behalf of the city ... Well, in that way, I'll have to kill you all, it would be a shame given what it costed to Jeanine keep the city safe. But there would be no other option... - Angela seemed to think a moment. - Naturally Beatrice Prior would live, I think it's rude to kill the girlfriend of your best friend.

\- She's ... she's a psychopath! As Jeanine! We must condemn her too! So that's the justice in this city? Acquit an assassin under threat of another?

Tori continued to shout words of revolt and indignation, but no one was watching her. Everyone was looking at Angela, as if she were a nuclear bomb.

\- I will not allow another war! - shouted Johanna. - If there is no other way ... let Jeanine live.

Jack sighed and sat down at the table, looking as exhausted as ever.

\- Declare acquitted Beatrice Prior and Jeanine Matthews.

There were murmurs in the room, cries of revolt, looks of hatred at me, but I did not care. Jeanine was safe, just like me. The Truth Serum still burned in my veins, and I had the feeling I could sleep in the floor, but the adrenaline kept me standing. I was embraced by several people at once. My father, my mother, Caleb, Christina, Will, Cara.

When finally they let me, Tobias was several meters behind me. I approached him and touched his hand. I didn't know what I was going to speak, but I needed to say something.

I took a deep breath, fighting the pain in my heart to see him so hurt.

\- Tobias ...

\- You do not have to say anything, Tris.

\- Please Tobias ...

\- I know everything. I know why you are always running away from me. It was her. I am wrong?

I shook my head as a tear ran down my face.

\- No, you're not wrong.

\- In this case, I just hope you know what you are doing, Tris.

He applied a kiss in my front and went, not looking my eyes. I didn't have much time to following him and try to explain again. As soon as he walked away, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking back, I saw the faces of my father and my mother.

\- You're not going to die for anyone, do you hear me? I forbid you it! - my father told me, pale and angry.

My mother and I looked up in surprise. We had a moment of silence ... and then we both started laughing.

God, it was not a happy laugh. It was a nervous laugh, the laugh of when you've been through a terrifying moment. My father looked us puzzled, what made us laugh more. Finally he regained some color on his skin, but he didn't laugh with us.

When my mother and I stopped laughing, she had tears in her eyes and my stomach hurt. People looked at us with something like fear. Now everyone will think the Priors are crazy, great.

-You two are my strenght - I could not resist and hugged my parents. If ever there was a time to do so, it was this. - I love you, mom and dad, with all my heart…

My father opened his mouth.

-But if I ever hear again the words "self-indulgent", "selfishness" and "project-to-outside", I will jump out the window - I finished, smiling.

My father closed his mouth.

-I think you will not miss those words -said my mother smiling.

I looked at the two, feeling absurdly happy that simply were there. I guess it was a primary instinct, to feel relieved that your parents were there and supported you. At that time, my happiness was almost complete.

-Jeanine - I said, leaving smiling.

-My name is Andrew- replied my father, still some resented by our laughter.

-No, now that the judgement ended someone else may try to attack her. I have to go with her soon!

Briefly hugged my mother and kissed my father, and went out at a fast pace to take the hallway and out of the building.

…

 **Reviews? =)**


	14. Awake

I don't remember well how I got there.

I don't remember having run through the streets where chaos was still apparent. I don't remember having entered the train, or the path in which I spent inside it.

I Just remember to enter running in the Erudite building, getting stares from people along the way. I opened the duplicate doors of the hospital sector with a push and reached my girlfriend in two steps.

I took her hand in mine and started kissing the full extent of her face. Tears escaped from my eyes. Tears of relief, unbridled happiness. She was safe. We two were saved.

I sat in the chair next to her and rested my head on her chest. I curled me into her warmth, enjoying every centimeter of our contact. Nothing would separate us now. Nothing.

\- It's okay, Jeanine. - I murmured, even though she couldn't to hear me - We'll be fine.

I spent the next few minutes with my head resting on the bed rail. My eyes were, at first, vigilants, but then my eyelids became too heavy to see anything. I was still exhausted because of the Truth Serum, and the tiredness finally overcame me.

I woke up with a hand grabbing my arm.

I got up suddenly, my body already preparing for the fight, but I relaxed when I recognized the person in front of me.

\- Christina?

\- Calm down! - she said, dropping my arm - I came in peace.

\- You scared me! - I said, trying to control my breathing - Why are you here?

She shrugged.

\- I needed to talk to you, and they told me that you hardly ever get out of here. Caleb make things easy for me, so let's say, and I managed to enter here without too many problems.

She looks at Jeanine, and I'm surprised with her gaze.

It's not the look of contempt and disgust that I expected. There is no hatred or resentment. It's an almost sympathetic look, a look that shows something like compassion. She lingers a few more seconds looking Jeanine's face and finally sighs.

\- Forgive me, Tris. - she murmurs, somewhat embarrassed - For the way I talked to you before. I didn't know, I didn't understand that things were much more complicated than I thought.

\- You don't need to apologize for anything. - I say, touching her shoulder - You were willing to give your life to save me. It is I who need to apologize.

\- You know ... - she continues - Not that I agree with the things she did, in any way. But now I can understand that she had motives. I mean, not that it justifies her actions, but after all the revelations that we had today, I can say that there is part of me, a little part of me that can understand her. And ... I am ready to accept it, Tris. You and her together.

I open a huge smile. If there was someone I didn't want to lose at that point, that someone was Christina. It was a relief to know that I could still have her in my life after all.

\- Chris ... - I try to find words, but I feel I will not be able to say anything without crying.

\- I mean, - she continues - whereas she doesn't make strange things to you, like... to apply you simulations to control you, you know, in the bed ... - she makes an expression of pure horror, and I start laughing - Oh my God! Why did I imagined that? I nevermore will be able to get these images out of my head!

And then I hug her. As strong as I can. In that hug, I feel that a piece of my heart that was lost returned to its rightful place.

\- I missed you so much... - I whisper to her.

\- Me too, Tris - she says - You have no idea what I felt when I realized that you had disappeared, that you had surrendered ...

I can feel her shudder slightly in my arms.

When we let go, her expression becomes serious.

\- They are discussing the future of this city. I believe that some changes are coming.

\- Changes? - I repeat.

\- Yeah. - she answers - Something related to the factions. It seems to me that there will be changes in the rules.

\- I will inform me about it later. - I look at Jeanine - I'm not leaving now.

She nods.

\- I understand. I must go now, before they find me here. - she gives me a long hug - We speak later on.

After she leaves, I turn again to Jeanine. I kiss her lips and lean my forehead on hers.

\- Maybe I'm not so foolish for believe the things can be all right, even after everything. - I tell her - And I wanted you could tell me what you think.

I stay a good time watching her, sitting on the mattress. She almost seems to be sleeping, except for the grimace of pain on her face, which replaces the calm smile she has when she sleeps next to me.

I caress her her hair on the pillow. It is loose, rather than the usual tight bun that she makes usually. One of the things I'm proud to know is that she is very sensitive in the hair, neck, and feet. I learned it in our first time.

Her face relaxes a little.

\- Don't have nightmares. - I whisper in her ear. - You're not alone in this. When you is better, we'll find a solution against the Bureau. I've been thinking about that, and I have some ideas.

I rest my head on her pillow and keep running over her hair with my hand.

\- But it would be great if you woke up first. Honestly, I'm starting to miss you trying to control me. Although both know you can't.

I didn't sleep. I'm sure I didn't sleep at all. I'm semiconscious when I feel a little kick on my leg. I wake, confused, but there is no one else. The kick comes from Jeanine, who is writhing in my arms, as if she is in a nightmare.

She is white as chalk and with sunken eyes. Her hair don't stop moving everywhere.

\- No. - she whispers hoarsely. - No no no.

\- Jeanine! - I call her loudly, shaking her arm.

My girlfriend opens her eyes and sits up in the bed in an impulse.

Immediately, she takes both arms to the ribs, with a grimace of pain but without giving a single moan. I don't know if it's because of her nightmare or her wounds. Maybe for both.

But I don't care much. She's awake.

\- Jeanine, you're awake ... - I feel stupid saying it. I control my mind as best I can. - Listen, calm down. You are in the hospital.

Jeanine don't looks at me. She only looks around her, like a caged and disoriented animal, with bleary eyes and taut as a guitar.

\- Jeanine?

She finally seems to listen. She turns to me, instantly relaxing.

\- Beatrice.

I'm starting to love my full name.

\- Calm down. We are in the hospital. You received two shots in the chest and one in the leg, do you remember?

My hands want touching her anywhere, to make sure it's real. Her breathing slows a little, but her eyes never leave my face.

\- Yes I remember. - her hand goes unconsciously to her injured leg. - I remember it well. - she stays a moment silent, trying to think. - How long has it been?

\- One week.

\- I feel like I've been asleep forever.

My hand goes to her face, to stroke her cheek.

\- Who would say that this thing of "true love's kiss" was true?

She smiles, and although it's a sad smile, there is also relief for both.

\- I understood that it only worked with a prince.

\- Well, I think we haven't a prince here, so, you will have to settle with me.

\- With pleasure.

Jeanine seeks my arms and rests her forehead on my shoulder. I hug her as hard as I can without hurting her.

I had spent the last week fantasizing about what I would say to her when she was finally agreed, and I surprise myself to just say a simple sentence:

\- If you go back to do this to me again, I swear you will sleep on the couch for the rest of your life.

And so, I simply kiss her.


	15. Blame

\- For the last time Jeanine, no -I strongly held the two arms of the woman in front of me, preventing her from getting out of bed. -Why do you insist on making it so hard?

Jeanine's eyes take on a dangerous glint.

\- Stop treating me like I was a child, Beatrice - Jeanine brings her hand to her injured abdomen and grimaces in pain. I roll my eyes and shake my head in disapproval. Why the hell did she have to be so stubborn?

\- And you, stop acting like a child. You know very well that you should avoid any sudden movements until your body is healed.

\- I do not know how much longer I can bear to be locked in that room, motionless. It's definitely against my nature.

\- But you will endure long enough - I answer. -Even if I have to chain you here.

Jeanine sighs, defeated, and leans back on the pillow behind her head.

\- Now could you finally tell me what happened while I was unconscious? It's the least you can do. Keep me prisoner in this way...

I change position, sitting down more comfortably next to her.

-It's a long story - I say. - There was a big uproar.

And then I start to tell her the story. From the moment she had been shot, until I almost killed Tori, the appearance of Angela, the charge of treason, meeting with my parents and friends, and finally the judgement. I not tell her, however, about Evelyn trying to kill her.

She hears the story in silence and with eyes fixed on mine. Her expression remains unchanged for most of the time, but when I talk about Angela her eyes widen, like she wanted to say something, but could not find words.

\- At the end of all, Angela entered the judgement and 'persuaded' them to leave you alive. After all the things she said, Jack and Johanna realized that wasn't no other way.

Her face is calm, focused. Not in a peaceful and relaxed way, but in a way that lets me know she's furious.

\- You threatened your own life so that they absolve me?

I press my lips and look into her eyes.

\- What do you wanted me to do? Stay idly by while you were sentenced to death?

She seems to have no answer to that. Deep down, I know what she's thinking: She would do the same if she were in my place. She would not attend my death idly.

\- But in the end it was not necessary. Angela closed the discussion with a few words.

Jeanine smiled for a second, though her smile have a twinge of sadness.

\- She always gets what she wants with a few words.

\- You know her from childhood, right? - My expression becomes serious. -She told me about ... the experiment.

The Jeanine's face closes in distress. That expression reminds me that she had when she slept, like she was having a nightmare. I expected her to say something, but she remains silent.

\- Jeanine ... it's horrible. It's inhumane. You have been hurt physically and emotionally throughout your childhood. Your father trated you as the object of an experiment.

I can not contain the revolt in my words. Think about it cause me sick.

\- And that's a great irony. - Jeanine replied - Because that's exactly what I did to you, right?

For a few seconds no one says anything, and we were just holding the look of another that uncomfortable silence. Jeanine is the first to look away and sigh.

\- Angela is the only person I could call friend in my entire life. The only person who understands me completely.

\- She scares me ...- I whisper. - Her eyes ... are too cold, too quiet. It's disturbing.

Jeanine smiled.

\- That's what happens when you are meant to be a machine. You know, your friend William compare me to a "talking, walking computer" - she smiles sadly.

\- This is not true - I say and take her hand - I'm sure that a computer would not be able to do it.

I approach her face and back my lips on hers. She takes a hand to my neck and deepens the contact. Her fingers creep into my neck, and a shiver runs through my body. The kiss lasts one minute, and in the end, I bite her lower lip.

She sighs and runs her fingers in my collarbone, in my tattoos. I feel a pleasant tingling on site.

\- You're absolutely right.

I smiled and kissed her again.

\- How are things out there? - Jeanine question now tense. - The video ... it was released?

I change position, to be able to look her in the eyes.

\- Yes. Jack and Johanna issued it for the entire city - I see Jeanine's lips tighten into a rigid line. Her eyes narrows, and her expression is closed in a grimace of disgust.

-But you see, people not only know about the video, they also know the truth behind it.

\- I do not see how it can make any difference.

\- See ... soon after our judgment, when I was at your side at the hospital, Christina came to see me. She told me something about changes in government. For now, Jack and Johanna are the city leaders, and I believe that they will not allow our city be atacked so easily. And about the Bureau ... There is one thing I'd like to discuss with you. I have some ideas on how to solve this problem permanently.

Jeanine looked at me, her eyes shining with something that long ago I did not see in her face: curiosity.

\- Ideas? What kind of ideas have you, Beatrice?

-First I want to know one thing: the cameras that have the Bureau throughout the city, have it documented all?

-Only the beginning - replied. - Before they took Erudite the transmission failed. I do not know why. Not that I'm complaining, it's horrible to know that these onlookers are 24 hours pending us - suddenly occurred to me a terrible idea, and she must have read it in my face. -No, there was never cameras in our house. Or rather, our bedroom.

She said "our." Jesus, how can she be so complicated and lovely at the same time? Too bad that love does not come with an instruction manual.

-Then they know nothing about the outcome of the judgement. They may not even know that there was a judgement. In other words, maybe don't know about us.

-Where are you getting at, Tris?

\- They will trust me, in the end I am 100% pure. If I infiltrate, I could stop them from within.

Jeanine stood perfectly still. For a moment, I feared something was wrong ... until she started laughing. Then I knew for sure that something was wrong. I had heard the laughter of Jeanine before. This was not her good laugh, it was her bad laugh, her nervous laugh, frustrated, without a hint of humor. A laugh that hid despair.

-You have got to be kidding me ...- she said, leaving laugh.

-You heard my jokes before. Nothing makes you laugh- I answered seriously.

-Because you are not funny! You are so good making jokes as I am flying in the "Zip-line"!

-That isn't so difficult...

-Only if you want to crash my head against the wall at 120 km per hour.

-Jeanine, You know we're not talking about the Zip-line.

I held her shoulders softly. I was a little angry, but I tried to control my temper. It would not be good start to fight in the hospital. It would not be good for her. Maybe I should have waited to tell her my plan.

-You have got to stop doing that, Tris -she also grabbed my shoulders. - You have to stop to run to your enemy's lair in turn. The first time was a very satisfactory result ... but David is the opposite to me. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I sighed.

\- I know.

-No, you do not. Did you think my simulations were hard? Did you think I was totally nuts? David will greet you with a hand and nail a dagger with other. -she tried to keep her composure, but I learned to read her well. She was desperate. I felt her grip on my shoulders. No matter how much she tried to hide it. -At least I never pretended. My intentions were always clear. David is a master manipulator.

Her despair hurted me, part of me wanted to tell her it was okay, that this was a bad idea, we could forget it and think of another plan. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't give up the remote only chance we had. Because now I understand perfectly. I finally understood the things she said about the "greater good". She had been right all along, even though she used the wrong means. The Bureau was a threat.

\- We need to try - I said quietly. -Otherwise, we never will stop David. I believe that you can't start another war for this. You has been suffering your whole life, you almost died. Do you want to give it all up now, having come so far for this?

\- This is my business, Beatrice. Stay out of this.

\- No, this is not only your business - I tried to control my voice every second, trying to stay calm despite it being almost impossible. - You wrapped me when you killed half of my faction. When you did Marlene to jump off a cliff. When you kept me prisoner to test your damn serums. Damn! What's more, when you made me fall in love with you, despite all this.

I regretted my words when I spoke. The pain on her face made me wanted to punch myself. Throw in her face all her sins had been low blow.

\- Sorry - I whispered touching her hand. She didn't move one millimeter. - Oh my God, I'm sorry. All I mean is that I am also part of it now. You told me the truth, you allowed me to see one side of you that no one else is allowed to see. And I agree with you, Jeanine. I believe that the Bureau should be stopped as soon as possible. We need to try.

I looked at her face, her eyes were lost in the horizon, her lips were trembling.

\- I can not ... - she whispered. - I can not handle the idea of you putting yourself in danger. I almost killed you with my own hands ... I could not bear to see you die at the hands of David.

\- This will not happen - I insist - Jeanine ... we won't be reckless or stupids. Anything and everything we will do will be well thought out and calculated. Obviously we will need outside help. Angela can be a welcome help ... The most important thing is that we are together. You're the smartest person in the world... - she give me a small, brief smile - and I'm the divergent stronger here. I don't think we will be won easily.

\- The reality is quite different from the stories of superheroes, Beatrice. And much more cruel.

\- I know ... just promise me you'll think it, okay? That's enough for now.

Jeanine sighs.

\- It's ok. I promise I will think about it. Just think, that's all I can promise.

-That's enough for now.

I lay in bed next to her, staring at the ceiling for a while. It wasn't the same as the glass ceiling, but I had to settle for the moment. There was still much for it to be over. That distant dream that was the time we were at home seemed unreal, a distant hallucination, almost a simulation.

The recriminations came out of my mouth without thinking. I saw her face, although she tried to downplay the issue. I gave her sins in her face. And that's not fair.

Sometimes I think I should create another Faction: Stupidity. I would be the leader.

I turned to see her. Her face was close to mine. From this position, I could very well see her round cheeks, her nose, the shadow beneath her lashes ... and three small imperceptible lines behind her cheek. Strangely I no longer felt guilty about it. My hand went alone to her face, and I don't remember having moved it. Nor do I remember started to kiss her under the chin.

-You have not told me anything uncertain - my girlfriend said.

I didn't answer, her neck demanded my attention.

-You have no reason to feel guilty, Beatrice. The sins are mine, you can not share the blame.

I pulled the basis of her hair to lift her head and I had better access to her neck.

-Think you in the Renaissance, Jean? -I whispered in her ear. -I do. Formerly, people were baptized to be reborn. I don't know if that method was very clean, but it worked. The blame was leaving -Finally my lips finished in an inch from hers, though I was more concentrated in her eyes. I could see the reflection of my eyes on hers. -Our worst enemy isn't David. The only thing that can destroy us, you and me, is the blame. - I rested my forehead on hers. - I will not allow blame destroys us.

\- How blame is removed, Beatrice? - her eyes became a rainy day. -The blame increases. It's like a monster that kills you if you dare to look. Mine is too large.

-If the blame is a monster, then I have to save you - I smiled. -Again and again. I'll do it as many times as necessary - I stroked her cheek with my nose. -If we do this, I do not want blame in this relationship. Kill the blame. I'll help you to kill it - I kissed her nose. -We'll kill it together.

-Where you came, Tris?

This woman can't control me, but she can make me melt with just four words.

-Well ... first Mom met Dad, then the two were in a bar ...

-God, your jokes are horrible. And the story is not that way.

But she had a smile on her lips as kissed me.

And suddenly I don't matter too much her wounds, because I am opening the blanket on the bed to get inside it. Our kiss in calm and happy, playful, and I can not resist. I don't want to resist.

Jeanine took off my shirt, along with the guilt.


	16. Plans

Two hours later I am still stroking her hair. I found out that helps her to sleep.

I want to extend the moment as much as I can, grateful to the world to be here and now. With one arm, I have Jeanine firmly embraced, and with the other, I covered her with a blanket.

I thought it would be a perfect time to say "I love you" in her ear, but I did not want to risk waking her. Besides, I do not think that word expresses very well what I felt at that moment. The complete relief, both physical and psychological and perhaps even spiritual.

I just hugged her a little more.

Of course, until (again) my brother entered the room. It would always be the same?

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, but the words died in his lips as his eyes opened like watermelons. Immediately after, the despair invaded him, and he covered his ears and eyes.

At least he was silent.

I got out of bed, costing me a lot of work to be smooth, fast, and quiet. I dressed in a hurry, but without getting underwear. I crossed the room in two strides and dragged Caleb outside.

\- Jeanine is right, you must learn to knock on the door.

Caleb narrowed his eyes at me.

\- Of course. - he muttered sarcastically - Of course I would imagine that would you be ...

He shook his hands, and his face turned red.

\- I also can't guess every time you come looking for me.

\- A hospital, Beatrice? Are you sure that this is an appropriate place?

I took a deep breath and stared him, embarrassed.

\- It does not .. does not matter now.

\- Okay. - He said - I'll tell you at once what I have to say. Johanna Reyes wants to see you.

\- What?

\- Jack and Johanna held an important meeting after you left. They request your presence in Candor headquarters now.

\- But I just got out of there ... - I looked through the glass and saw Jeanine asleep. Her face was calm and serene and she was totally undefended. My heart sank. - No way. She has just been acquitted in a judgement where most people wanted her death. Anyone out there would be very happy to kill her. I can not take away their reason, anyway, but I will not allow.

\- It's all right, Beatrice. I spoke with Angela, and she stepped up security at the hospital's entrance. Soon there will be guards here as well. Jeanine will be safe.

I thought for a moment.

I did not like the idea of leaving Jeanine, especially when two-thirds of the city still wanted her head. However, she has been absolved in a judgement in which I argued for her. Even though the final word had been of Angela, it was me who they saw as responsible for Jeanine Matthews had been unpunished of her crimes.

That definitely wasn't a good time to challenge them.

I looked at Caleb and gave a defeated sigh.

\- It's ok. But I'd feel better if you stayed here too. I do not trust anybody like I trust you. I will be more peaceful if Jeanine stay under your eyes as well.

He smiled at me.

\- It is something so good to hear ... You know, when I needed pretending I was cheating you, I thought I had lost you forever. I thought you never would forgive me, even after knowing that everything was a lie. And yes, of course I'll be here. I could not look you in the eyes if something I could have prevented happened to her.

I returned the smile.

\- Thank you, Caleb.

I hugged him quickly, and then started walking toward Candor headquarters, waiting not be in trouble again.

…

When I arrived at Candor headquarters, the climate of judgement was undone.

Now, the meeting had the appearance of a business meeting, but even so, I could not help and felt a shiver down my spine to remember that a few hours ago, that same people were there deciding about my life. Or my death.

\- Sit down, Beatrice. - Johanna said quietly, sitting next to Jack.

To the left of them, I saw Tobias, and in sequence, Christina, Will, Tori, Peter, Cara, Uriah, Lynn and Zeke. The only place available for me to sit was on the right side of Tobias. I sat down, and he sent me a resentful look.

Maybe he never would to stop looking at me like that.

\- All right. - Jack began - We are here to discuss something very important after the revelation that was presented to us by Beatrice Prior. The possibility of leaving the city.

\- This is nonsense. - I said loudly, causing all looked at me - you all know what lies beyond the fence. And everyone saw that it's nothing that worth knowing. I see no reason to venture into enemy territory.

\- They aren't enemies to you. - said Lynn - You will be very welcome on the outside.

I looked at her in disbelief.

\- Do you really think I only think of me?

\- Enough. - Johanna said in a quiet but authoritative voice - Let's not start a conflict here.

\- Listen carefully. - Jack started very slowly. - At this time, the balance of the city is very fragile. The whole city expected that justice would prevail by Jeanine Matthews's execution. - Jack looked me straight in the eye, and I don't knew decipher his look. - Since it is no longer possible, the city has to settle for something else. Or else everyone will take power by force and leave.

\- What does that have to do with us? - Tobias went straight to the point.

\- The city trusts you. Yes, even you, Tris. Most people just think you have Stockholm syndrome. - Johanna said.

I was beginning to hate the word "Stockholm".

\- Honestly ... we've already discussed that. - I said, wearily.

\- Yeah. - Jack looked at his fingers. - But anyway, despite the recently acquired information, the city is still in the dark about what is outside. - he rested his chin in his hands. - And that will not change until someone go and see with own eyes.

\- Sincerely, because I must be honest and not friendly about this, I'd rather send anyone else other than you. - he glanced at Peter, clearly dissatisfied - But we don't have many choices.

I was not surprised when Tobias was the first to speak.

\- I will go.

\- If Four goes, I go with him. - Lynn said.

Uriah nodded. I saw Peter nod grudgingly as well.

For a moment everyone turned to look at me. And I knew what I was going to respond, even before thinking.

My moments of peace with Jeanine last less and less.

\- We need a plan.

…

When I returned to my girlfriend's room, I was planning my words carefully. I needed to explain carefully, discuss it in peace like a normal couple, even though I knew that me and her were not a normal couple. We were not even normal people.

But Jeanine was not alone.

I saw Angela before walking through the door. She was stroking Jeanine's blonde hair in a motherly gesture. My girlfriend was still asleep.

Angela did not turn to me when she spoke.

\- I just came to check on her.

I entered the room. Angela pulled her hand of Jeanine's hair, settling into the chair.

\- I brought her a gift.

She opened a box, and inside was a large fruit. Um melon.

I did not understand right away. Maybe it was something that only they understand, like a childhood memory or something.

\- I wrote a card: "Get well soon, and I'm sorry for threatening your whole city, except your girlfriend, to die." ... is better than "except your girlfriend" be very clear.

I wanted to smile, but there staring at her, one more important thing came to my mind. Something that could not be delayed.

\- Angela. - I said before losing the courage - I need your help for one thing.

She looked at me, studying me like I was the most interesting object in which she had laid her eyes on. I forced myself to ignore it.

\- My help? About what?

I told her about my will to stop the Bureau, about my plan to infiltrate and do something to stop them. She heard everything quietly, her look to me was almost of admiration.

\- I do not think this is something very safe to do. - she finally answered - I think Jeanine has told you about David. It is not very intelligent face him squarely.

\- I know. And that's exactly why I ask for your help. I have a plan, but, at the same time, I don't have a plan. I only know that the only way is infiltrate me there, but I'm not sure what to do after that. You know David and the Bureau more than me. Do you think there is a way to stop them? Is there something there that can be used against them?

Angela's face was thoughtful.

\- They have many weapons ... but I do not think that a massacre is the best option. They have a lot of technology, many serums. Too much memory serum, lot of it.

I looked her carefully. With wide, blank eyes, that woman almost seemed a character of nightmares.

For a moment I wondered if I had done the right thing. The fact that Jeanine trusted her doesn't mean she doesn't was dangerous. Perhaps she was able to make even worse things. Evil did not have a limit.

But I could not do it alone. I needed to trust someone. I just hoped that person was Angela.

\- Confronting David face up is suicide. - Angela began - So, you want to attack him from behind. And frankly, I think it could work. The Purest Pure is too tempting, even for him.

She turns to me. The atmosphere felt dark.

\- If you even do that, you must not only ignore that you know me. You must make him believe that you hate her.

That was something in which I had not thought. If David learned of my relationship with Jeanine while I was under his power... The possibility was frightening.

Our conversation was interrupted by movements in the bed.

\- Beatrice ... - in a dream, she extended her arm, looking for me at her side.

It was not even a second until I was at her side.

Jeanine finally woke up and saw me leaning over her, and her eyes blinked to ward off the residues of somnolence. Her lips smiled quietly, and she stroked my cheek.

Angela coughed.

\- I'm here. - I said tightening her hand - It's all right.

For a moment, my face had all her attention, but then she looked back my shoulders and her eyes widened while her mouth opened in shock.

Angela tried to keep her expression unchanged, but it was impossible don't see the excitement in her eyes. A look that showed pure relief, a look that a lost child would have after to find the parents.

Both stared each other for long seconds. In their eyes there was a million things mixed. It was something so intimate that I forced myself to look away, feeling like an intruder in the scene.

\- I told you. - Angela finally said - I told you that at the first sign of disaster I would intervene.

\- Angela ...

\- I warned you, right? You remember very well my words. I warned that it was dangerous, I warned you could be injured. I warned about falling in love ...

\- Enough. - Jeanine interrupted her - It's better go jumping all over this discourse of '' I told you''. I just ... I'm just very happy to see you.

Angela nodded.

\- Me too, Jeanine. - she sighed deeply, as if she was taking a weight from her chest - You have no idea how much.

Looking at the emotional faces of the two, I felt joy. Joy for knowing that Jeanine had someone besides me who cared about her, someone who understood her. That filled me with hope.

My mother always told me that love can cure anything, fix anything. The love that Angela and I felt for Jeanine, and that Jeanine felt for me and Angela could be the key to everything.

Perhaps it would be this love that would to help us to win this final battle, and heal the wounds after it.

 **...**

 **Leave me a review! :D**


	17. Bureau

One hour remaining before Jeanine leave. And within two hours, I also go out into the unknown.

The last three days have been a rush to get everything done. Equipment, food, emergency kits, etc. We have barely had time to think. I would have had more time to spend with my loved ones. I could not even talk to my girlfriend more than two minutes.

At first it was a surprise to learn that Jeanine would also go outside the fence, but not with us. She will go nowhere with Angela, and Jack and Johanna had to settle for not knowing. It really is very difficult to win an argument with Angela.

I disagree, but I can't do anything. I told her she could not go for her injuries, but this woman is almost as stubborn as I am. She infuriates me almost as much as she makes me happy.

Love is unbearable.

-My team will go in one direction and we in another - said Angela stroking her horse's white mane.

We are at the entrance of the city. The final preparations are almost ready, we just need Ángela to order her army to leave our city. Something that has me very upset and is that she and Jeanine will go alone, her men will take another path. According to them it is to confuse, a military convoy striking two women riding alone.

I hate this plan. They will be unprotected. Angela may be an invincible machine, but my Jeanine is still wound. But if I start thinking about it I can't stop, so I tried to put a brave face and pretend that I didn't want hit Jeanine in the head and lock her in her room.

A blue car stopped a few meters and she got out.

I almost didn't recognize her. She wore riding clothes, jeans and a blue shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a braid blonde for a moment reminded me of the story of Rapunzel. She would have been pretty attractive if not for the pale of her skin.

She walked with her straight and elegant steps. Still she walks like herself, although she looks so different.

-Good Morning.

-You look very strange - Angela said quietly.

-I can not ride with my bag and blue pencil skirts - she answered with sharp tone of voice.

She absently stroked her gray mare, which whinnied. That damn animal will be closer to her than me.

-Still you are angry? - She asked gently, trying to test the waters.

-I'm still worried - I corrected.

Her whole body stiffened. When she turned, she had the most serious expression I had seen in my life.

For a chilling moment, I felt again that cold room where she had made me go through all those simulations. That expression was the same as she had when she saw their attempts fail. Maybe because now she also saw her attempt fail: the attempt to make me be agree with her on that idea. She stands looking at me and for a few seconds, I'm afraid of her. I remember when she took Peter's gun and leaning against my head, screaming at me to tell her what was the secret. Her face is now like that.

But then, she takes two steps towards me and kisses me, and shadowy images are easily forgotten.

\- You are not the only worried here - she replies with the warmest version of her voice I'd ever heard - You will be running a lot more risks than I, and I accepted it. You should also accept that I will not leave you alone with David.

\- David would not kill me with the same ease with which he would kill you.

\- David would kill anyone who meddle between him and his goals. We are in the same situation.

Our eyes are still for a while, so we parted. Jeanine back to the side of her mare and I watch her, trying not to feel the pain of separation. But of course I don't succeed. There were no hugs or tears in farewell. We just decided to skip that part. Think too much about it make us weak, and now we would need as strong as we could get.

I found them at the headquarters of Amity, in the trucks that would take us out of town. Tobias, Christina, Lynn, Uriah, Peter, Will, Cara and behind them, Caleb.

I looked at Christina, as soon as our eyes meet, we walked quickly toward each other and hugged. It was a quick and restrained but very meaningful embrace. The presence of Caleb was something that filled me with strength. For the first time since I was a child, I knew what I was actually having a brother. Ironically this happened precisely at the most turbulent time in our lives.

Perhaps all that we always needed to unite us was get out of Abnegation. To wipe out all the grievances that the distance had built throughout our oppressive childhood. We smiled briefly, and he mess my hair playfully.

\- Are you ready? - I ask in an attempt not to think about bad things.

\- Ready to arrest David and those stupid? I've never been so ready of anything in my life.

I shake my head in agreement.

\- I feel exactly the same thing. I need to do this. For Jeanine ... and for our city.

We walked toward the others, and I see the expressions on their faces are varied, ranging from determination, calm, resentment and fear. My eyes meet with Tobias's for a few seconds, and then he turns to face the orchards that are thousands of meters away. I give a brief smile to Christina, who has her fingers interlaced to Will's, and she reciprocates my gesture.

-All of you knows the plan - I say aloud. - Pretend total and complete ignorance. Don't let them realize that we know the truth, those would spoil everything. If they tell us something we already know, we try to look surprised. As surprised as possible.

\- We already know that - responds Lynn. -The question is whether it will work.

Her words cause me heart sank. In front of them all, my plan does not seem as bright as before.

\- We'll have to figure it out in practice - I politely answer. - Jeanine and others will be close to us, and help us with anything out of control. But we will do everything possible to make that unnecessary.

\- Jeanine? - Lynn sighs. - Okay, this just keeps getting better.

\- She is better? - Christina asked.

\- Better than I'd like she to be - Before answering, I hear a voice approaching.

Tori.

\- I am ready.

-We are ready.

Tobias and Tori entered the cab of the truck, and the rest of us went into the back. Before entering, I could have a glance in the worried faces of Johanna and Jack, along with my parents. Our eyes met for a few seconds, and the four of us smile, giving us encouragement. Caleb took my hand and we set movement.

When the truck stopped, the silence was overwhelming. Tori opened the door, and the light blinded us for a while.

-Wow, how fast - said Uriah.

-There's a truck to two meters. All take their weapons and follow me. They have not attacked, but we must be ready.

Upon leaving, the world lost colors. Outside everything was ruined. There were giant photos of scantily clad girls, product branding, and trash. Many trash. Twenty meters ahead of us stood a black truck.

We got in position, pointing at the target, waiting for a reaction. Tobias and Tori were ahead of us, and Caleb was behind me. My brother can be very brave, but he's so good with weapons as me with manners. From black truck down two men, who began to approach with raised hands.

-Stop! - Tobias orderned. - Who are you and what do you want?

-Don't shot! - They yelled the loudest.

Stay where you are! -Tobias answered them.

-Wait ...- Tori whispered beside him, and suddenly her arms trembled. -¿George?

She lowered the gun slowly, a smile fighting her tears.

The man with hands raised in front of us looked confused for a moment, and soon after incredulous.

\- To ... Tori?

\- George ... You're alive ... You're really alive. I don't ... I can't believe it. How is this possible?

They totally ignored everything that was around, the shocked and curious stares, the weapons identified. In that short time, the world seems to be only they. They ran and hugged, and silence dominates all of a sudden.

I don't know exactly how I feel. Lately, I had no reason to feel any sympathy for Tori. She was responsible for the near-death of my girlfriend, and all the days of anguish because of this. But in recent weeks, the subject "brother" was something that made me very sensitive, and I could not help but smile too. Caleb glanced at me and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

Tori has tears streaming down her face, George hugged her as if he never let go again.

\- Hello - said the other man next to George. -You must be the Chicago expedition, right? I'm Amar.

Tobias' face turned livid, but not the way he would if he didn't know the truth. I see our theater start.

\- Impossible. Amar is dead.

\- No, I'm not. Nice to see you again, Four.

Tobias's eyes widen falsely, his mouth opens and closes as if he did not know what to say. I see that part of he is trying to act surprised, but another part is really surprised with the vision of something which until then he just knew by Angela words.

\- Come on -said George, still with his arms around Tori. - We now work for the organization that founded our city. I think you came here hungry for answers, and we can get them. Our center is near here.

We looked at each other and nodded. We all knew it was part of the plan. Now was the time in which they would take us to the Bureau.

I feel a strange excitement stirring inside me. After all that Jeanine had told me about David and the Bureau, I should be afraid, but I feel now is just the opposite. I'm anxious to get there. I think of all the things they believe in that place, I think the people who they consider flawed -people like Christina, Will, Cara, Caleb- I think the life of desperate anguish that Jeanine endured alone because of David. The need to destroy that place burning inside me like fire.

\- Do you think we should trust them? - I ask in a reluctant tone, as suspicious as I can simulate.

\- We came here to learn the truth, right? - said Lynn. -So we need to trust them. Or our little adventure will have been in vain.

I smile internally to see how everyone understood perfectly the idea of theater.

\- It's all right. - I say slowly lowering my gun, and soon everyone had lowered their weapons. - We'll go with you. But don't try anything.

The trip was relatively quiet. Sitting in the truck bed seats, everything I saw in my companions was startled looks, alluring and disbelief. They looked around as if they didn't believe what they were seeing. As if it were impossible to understand the immense and wild world outside the fence. I understood them, and part of me felt exactly the same, but my thoughts were too busy to concentrate on those things. I was thinking of Jeanine.

Where would she be? She would be okay? She and Angela would have been able to get to wherever they were going?

I closed my eyes and sighed. I tightened my jaw until the pain was enough to ward off thoughts. Even that was a distraction which I had no right. Needed to focus on the plan. The Bureau.

At one point, I feel the hand of Caleb on my shoulder, and I turn to him.

\- Do you know where Jeanine was going? - He whispers in a low voice, barely audible.

I shake my head.

\- All I know is that she is with Angela. Angela has a similar center of the Bureau, but with ideals contrary. She defends different people, rather than subject them and seek a cure for their ''disease''.

I make a face involuntarily. I could not use the term 'genetically damaged' '. This idea still gave me nausea. Caleb nodded and gently pulled my head to his shoulder. I closed my eyes and relaxed there with my brother's arms around me.

\- I think I might have the solution. We'll make it. - He says with a certain confidence.

I look at the starry sky and imagine a life after this. I see myself dressed in blue, giving good morning to Jeanine before work. I imagine we both lying under the glass ceiling of her bedroom, feeling the sunshine or watching the stars, talking about anything. I imagine how would be walk with my girlfriend behind the Erudite gardens, hand in hand, with a clear mind. Without wars, without death possibilities, without the threat of David. Everything in its place, as it should be.

That was a life in which worth fighting.

\- Yes, we're going - I answer to my brother before I closed my eyes and fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

...

Then Cara's hand shake my.

\- Hey, you two. We have arrived!

I blink hard, as my eyes adjust to the light. I see the face of Christina in front of me, and behind it, the others began to get off the truck. I lift my head from the shoulder of Caleb, and I realize that he is also confused and sleepy.

\- Come on. - I whisper to him - It's time.

Caleb and I are the last to get off the truck, just behind Christina.

There is a high fence which extends throughout the landscape.

The fence has vertical black bars with sharp edges, that would skewer anyone who tries to go over it. A few meters beyond there is another fence with barbed wire that is wrapped on top like that surrounds our city. I hear a loud hum from the second fence, an electric charge. People walk through the space between them, carrying weapons that look a bit like our paintball equipment, but far more deadly and powerful ammunition.

There is a sign at the first fence that reads The Bureau of Genetic Welfare. I rolled my eyes and needed much self-control to keep from laughing. Welfare was the last thing that this place provided. I hated it with all my strength. I hear the Amar's voice speaking with the armed guards, but don't know what he was saying. A door at the first fence opens to the pass and soon we are at the door of the second.

\- There we go - I took a deep breath, imagined strength and energy entering my body along with the air - This is for you, Jeanine.

And then we enter the Bureau.

Tori disappeared with her brother, but I heard clearly the wail of Tobias.

The place was very beautiful.

Large white and cream walls, with many offices everywhere. Corridors, hallways, people here and there. Everything seemed a giant machine well maintained. After being properly disarmed, we enter the center, walking by huge corridors that reminded me to Erutite headquarters.

A cold shiver ran down my spine. They created us, have shaped our world, they told us what to believe. In this place controlled and monitored us since the 'experiment' had begun. They watched us as if we were the most interesting reality show in the world.

Amar and George finally stops in front of us.

Behind them was a large circle of white screens, like moths circling a flame. People within the circle are sitting on low desks, writing furiously in even more screens. It's a big control room in the open and I'm not sure what observe here, since all the displays are dark.

Grouped around the screens are chairs, benches and tables, as if people gather here in their spare time. A few meters in front of the control room there is a blonde man with a dark blue uniform. Despite never having seen him before, my instincts warned me about who he is. The director behind the music symphony orchestra, looking at us with curious and wary eyes.

As we approached, he reach out to give us a warm welcome.

\- This... - says David - ...is what we were expecting from the beginning.


	18. Make-believe

**JEANINE**

The sun on my skin and the wind in my face. Strange things, it is the first time that I really see it.

\- Don't get left behind! - Angela yelled.

My mare began to go faster, as if understanding the words of my partner.

Around the south side of Chicago is a kind of desert area. It's not the best scene for ride a horse. The last time, I was twelve, and who taught me is the same woman who is in front of me.

She has taught me many things. I am not mistaken, most likely I would have died ten times longer without Angela. And without the need of a Tori Wu to murder me. Many times she was my psychological support.

Now I have other support, and other reasons for wanting success.

I failed in my "life mission": I don't eliminated the Divergents of Chicago. On the contrary, I am in love with one of them. And if it wasn't little, is a Prior.

My father would have jumped off a cliff.

Angela looked back and said me that we were not far off, and I nodded. I could not stop thinking in Beatrice's face when I said goodbye. The girl for who I lost completely my mind.

Some part of me, the selfish part, wish I'd never known her. This part wished see her as just another stubborn and cocky pure, another of the millions of people who live their empty lives, slowly waiting to die. But it was useless. What happened, it happened. I should be happy that she also loved me. Something in that head was bad enough to make her fall for me.

So I decided I would do the things the right way. Tris was my second chance, and I would not ruin that.

\- Thinking about your girl with blue eyes? - Angela asked me with her version of a smile.

I frowned and didn't answer. We were side by side.

\- We will do everything possible, and even the impossible to keep your girlfriend safe, you know?

\- Her name is Beatrice.

\- Funny name for someone so young. That name was fashionable 200 years ago.

\- Andrew was always addicted to ancient literature ... and I like her name. But she prefers to be called Tris.

I could not help thinking of her pretty face, her arms crossed in time to say goodbye.

She didn't understand that I couldn't stay doing nothing. If so, I would have to be alone and thinking. Thinking about things I did not wanted. If I couldn't do something, _anything_ , I would go crazy.

I should not have been angry.

I saw, fast as thunder, the flash of fear that went through her eyes. Seeing the fear on her face - fear of _me_ \- made me sick like before made me sick to have her locked up like a little lab rat, feeling her eyes full of hatred through the security cameras. I could not bear it.

Her fear hurt me more than her hatred.

At that moment, I felt terrible. I took two steps and kissed her, to show her that I was not angry, and that she should no longer be afraid of me.

Because I was able to do anything for her.

I just hoped she would believe me.

\- We're almost there.

\- I see nothing. - I replied.

\- What I taught you all your life? You need to see, not just look.

The horses stopped.

Angela bent down in a quick jump. To me, it had cost more for the sudden pain in my ribs, but I could down alone.

\- I don't see anything. - I said, a little cranky because of the heat.

\- We are on the door.

I looked down. A big cover like a sewer was one meter away from us.

\- You did an underground base. - I said with surprise.

\- Today anyone has a 200 IQ. - she replied sarcastically.

I prefer her horrible jokes.

Angela lifted the lid cement without much effort.

\- Blondes first.

...

 **TRIS**

It should be a rule that all powerful lunatics are blondes.

I already had enough with my own girlfriend, to be honest. But David was the exact opposite.

Where Jeanine was cold and poker face, David's face had too many expressions. Bright eyes, hair fixed, and a gentle smile of welcome.

Jeanine warned me that this man would make every effort to be friendly ... to me and to the divergents that accompanied me.

David just looked at Christina, Lynn, and the others non-pure as if they were not there.

\- We have waited for this day for 200 years. - he said with a smile.

Tobias looked into his eyes intently, trying to find a chink in his perfect disguise.

\- We feared that it never happened, actually. But I knew you would eventually defeat Erudite. It would have been illogical to think otherwise.

\- You saw everything. - Tobias said, pointing to the cameras behind the wall. - You could have intervened at any time.

\- The Bureau can't intervene under any circumstances. - David answered quickly. - Although we were about to do it when the cameras went out.

\- The city is in chaos today. - I said, looking into his eyes. - We stayed a few days under siege by your colleague, Angela.

\- Oh, _she._ \- David sighed - No surprise. Yes, I concluded that perhaps she had intervened. Very unwise.

\- Yeah. - I agreed - Angela is a bit scary, but she helped to control the chaos in the city after the end of conflict.

\- Speaking of which, I'd like to know in detail what happened in their city. You see, the Center isn't used to losing control of the experiments, but this sudden problem with the cameras made us totally blind.

Tobias and I looked at each other like we were in a minefield. Any lapse, any word spoken in the wrong order or in the wrong way would take our plan to the ruin.

\- Before reporting such important facts about our town, it would be reasonable that you explain us who you are and what is this place. All we know is what we saw in that video, that doesn't explain much.

My heart raced with fear. David's eyes seemed to be reading my mind. I felt as if he already knew everything and was just playing with us. I repeated to myself in thought that everything was fine and there was no way that he knew about anything. I just hoped I was being a good actress.

\- You're right. - David sighed and looked at each of us - Right. Long ago, the United States government ...

\- United what? - asked Lynn.

\- It is a country - Amar replied - Very large. It has specific borders and own government, and right now we are in the middle of it. We can talk about it later. Go on, sir.

\- A few centuries ago, the government of this country was interested in applying certain desirable behaviors in the citizens ...

He started to report in detail the process of genetic manipulation to which the population had undergone and about as, instead of improving, had become the humanity worse.

The report included the Purity War, the irreparable damage caused by it and, finally, the cities-experiment, which aimed to restore humanity to its genetically pure state.

It was extremely hard to pay attention to what he was saying and stamping on my face a surprise that I didn't feel.

More difficult was to do all this looking at the faces of my companions, ensuring that they were acting accordingly.

Overall, we did a good job.

Lynn had a look of pure terror, Christina was frowning and seemed totally incredulous, Tobias was standing as if he were in shock. Caleb looked close to tears.

The others had similar expressions. Eyes on wide, frowning and skeptical faces. Tori maybe decided to imitate Tobias, and also stood still as a statue.

\- I'm smart - Caleb said. - So, you're saying that because my ancestors were changed to be smart, I, their descendant, can't be totally compassionate. I and every genetically modified person, we are limited by deficient genes. And the divergents aren't.

\- Well, - David said, shrugging - think of it.

\- Of course, genes aren't everything. - said Amar - Everyone, pure or damaged, are able to make choices.

So David turned his full attention to me.

\- You already know the whole truth, now you could tell me what's going on in Chicago, Beatrice?

I looked at the whole group, which seemed to be struggling to keep on their faces the adequate expression. When I realized that all was well, I turned my eyes to David again.

\- I don't know how much you saw. - I started - But I think you know that Dauntless joined to the Factionless to attack the Erudite headquarters and destroy all the information and knowledge they have acquired since the beginning of the Faction System.

\- Yeah. - David looked bored - I saw when Jeanine put the Dauntless members under that simulation. A girl threw herself from the abyss ... What was her name?

\- Marlene. - Lynn said in a painful whisper - Her name was Marlene.

I turned to look at her, and the sadness in her face made me look away.

\- Yes. - David agreed - This was the name.

\- The attack occurred. - I continued - The Erudite headquarters was almost completely destroyed. The destruction wasn't higher because of Angela. She ended the conflict and the video was revealed.

\- Where is Jeanine Matthews? - David's cold eyes shone with curiosity and I felt a cold chill down my spine.

He was asking about my girlfriend as someone who missed an episode of his favorite show and want to know what happened to one of the characters.

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye.

\- Jeanine is dead. - I said in the most indifferent way that I could. A sharp pain shot through my chest and I struggled to hide.

\- I killed her. - Tori said from across the room. She had her big black eyes fixed on me. - It was a kind of justice to my brother. A great honor, indeed.

Her words caused me chills, but I threw her a grateful look. I couldn't talk about it convincingly, and she knew it.

\- And now, the city is being governed by Jack Kang and Johanna Reyes, the only leaders who remained able to exercise their leadership. - said Tobias for the first time - They sent us to find out what was in the world outside of the fence while the most serious problems are serviced. There are many dead, wounded, many war criminals in judgment, chaos …

David listened very carefully what we said. He seemed to be deciding if he could to believe in us or not.

I crossed my fingers and asked to any deity that could exist for him to believe. Otherwise, we would be in serious trouble.

I remembered that Jeanine had told me that eye contact was important. I didn't looked away from David.

He smiled reassuringly.

\- You must be tired. Tomorrow we can start teaching you our world.

\- Just like that? - Tobias asked.

\- See at the reality: the city can no longer live alone. It is time to reintegrate them to the world. After all, the number of pure, or divergent, as you say, just has reached the adequate amount. - David looked to his left. - Nita, please show them their rooms.

A brown-haired girl who was watching from her desk came to us with a cautious air. She should be just a few years older than us.

\- Follow me, please.

The crowd followed the girl inside the building for the hall on the right. The whole building looked a bit like Erudite, but not so blue. The quantity of colors overwhelmed me. I didn't know how they bear so much imbalance.

Nita took us to a cream colored corridor and Caleb slid to my side.

\- Undoubtedly there are cameras everywhere. I'll put one thing in your pocket.

I remained stoic as I felt my brother's hand sliding down my pocket and leaving something.

Caleb stepped forward.

\- These are your bedrooms. - Nita said. - Girls in the left, boys in the right, and homosexuals in front.

We looked at her with surprise. She didn't understand for a moment, but then her face tensed.

\- Sorry, I forgot how it works in your city. Don't misunderstand me, it isn't for discrimination, is just the way in which we split us. - The poor girl was nervous and red. - Have a good night.

So, Nita disappeared where she came from.

\- Poor girl. - Tobias whispered biting his lip with a tight smile.

\- Let's go to front, Tris? I can tell you a bedtime story. - Lynn scoffed.

\- Before that, I would sleep with the devil. - I replied.

\- You already do it. - Will told me laughing, and I punched him in the shoulder

We represented our relaxed performance for the cameras for a few minutes, and then went to sleep. Nobody went to the bedroom in front, of course.

Once I was alone in my bedroom, I sat on the bed. The place was very simple. A bed, a wardrobe, a table, and a bathroom.

I reached into my pocket. The things that Caleb had left were a pair of glasses and a note.

"First, turn off the light, so that the cameras can't see. Then, lie down and put them."

They were similar to those glasses often used by Jeanine. It seemed a toy.

I followed my brother's instructions. I lay in the bed after taking off my clothes, turned off the light, and put the glasses.

Then, everything went black.

...

Don't forget the review :)


	19. Reencounter

I opened my eyes in the glossy dark. All I had in front of me was dark. A huge dark room, infinite in the distance.

I knew from the beginning that this was a simulation.

-Amazing, right?

I turned around, and my brother was there, smiling proudly. He looked happy.

-Caleb, is it you or you are a simulation?

-It's me. We are having what I call a "Shared Dreams Simulation". It's my first great invention. It has taken a lot of work, but it works.

Tobias and Will appeared in front of us.

-God, I hate these things- Will said dizzy. Tobias was more calm.

One by one, our group was appearing in the black room. The last to appear was Cara, who almost tripped. Caleb helped her.

-Well, listen to me- Caleb said, all were silent. Suddenly I felt very proud of my brother. -Cara and I created this as a way to communicate without the Bureau monitoring us. At this moment, our minds are attached to a "network". It is a kind of simulation.

-Why everything is black? - Tori asked.

-This is just the "Home Screen". This is a simulation, so it also can be controlled. -Cara explained, along with Caleb. -And a being less elaborate than the other way simulations. But only one at a time.

-Tobias, close your eyes and imagine what you want, place or thing. The simulation will give it to you. -Caleb said.

Tobias nodded and closed his eyes. At first nothing it happened, but then the black room began to change, to melt...

Now we were in a castle.

Everything seemed out of fairy tales. Long tables, windows, crystal chandeliers. Everything was bright and real.

-Dude, it's the castle of Once Upon a Time! - Uriah said, tapping the table to make sure it was real. -Make a Regina and Emma to me!

Tobias did not deign to reply.

-Can you bring up a sandwich, Four? I'm starving - Lynn said sitting at the table.

We all imitateher and seated.

-For now, they believe us. - Tobias began. -We must ensure it stays that way, as we find the Memory Serum.

Tori looked around. She looked upset, as if she was afraid that everything would disappear in an instant and she woke up falling off a cliff.

\- You sure it's safe? - she gripped the table edge until her fingers were white - We are united by a network, right? And if the connection goes down?

Caleb frowned, looking genuinely curious.

\- I really do not know. It is the first time we used it, but I believe nothing bad would happen.

\- If the connection goes down - said Cara looking pointedly at my brother - We'll just woke up in our rooms, lying comfortably in our beds, like everything was just a dream.

Caleb turned to her incredulously.

\- How do you know that?

Cara shrugged.

\- I knew the prototype of this invention a million years before you.

Caleb did not seem offended, as I expected. She just smiled at Cara.

\- Okay, I understand how smart you are. But ... a million years? This is totally illogical, Cara. None of us existed a million years ago.

Cara rolled her eyes and snorted.

\- You understood exactly what I meant.

\- Hey! - Will's voice stopped the short discussion. - We need to discuss what is really important. No one knows when this thing will stop working. The question is: what do we do now?

\- For now, I think all we can do is watch. - I answered my looking fingers - We can't do anything reckless or dangerous until David trust fully in Tobias and me.

\- I don't know ... - Christina whispered as if still afraid that someone would hear - That guy ... David. He not like me one bit. Something tells me we'll be in danger while we're near him, no matter how confident we seem.

\- Jeanine told me many things about him. David is very smart and insightful, he isn't fooled easily. However, his '' mission '' is its weak point. It will rely on at the time to convince himself that we adhere to his cause and believe in the things that the Bureau believes.

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

\- How do he believe that Non-Pure can agree with the things that the Bureau believes? I mean, this whole thing's genetic deficiency?

\- With some effort we can achieve. - Said Cara - But the important thing is that he trusts Tris. Tris is a Pure, therefore she is under no suspect. Others ... well, we just need to act naively. As if all that matters to us is to discover and understand this fantastic and immense world in front to us.

She gave an ironic emphasis on the words ''fantastic'' and ''inmense'' and I could not help but laugh. I noticed that Caleb was looking at her as if she'd just recite the most moving poem.

\- Okay - agreed Uriah. - Just act innocent, look curious and explore. It does not seem that difficult.

\- It is not that simple - replied Tobias. - We need extra attention. We need to be attentive to all, pay attention to every detail of every information that is here. Even the seemingly unimportant, because this can be the key to everything.

\- What is the main information we need? - Peter spoke for the first time. He had been so quiet that hitherto I hardly had noticed there - You know, just to set priorities.

\- The weapons laboratory - I responded immediately. - There is where the Memory Serum is stored. They use it to restart the experiments that are going wrong. If we find out where it is, we will already be halfway.

\- Angela didn't give you even a hint? - Will said looking concentrate - I mean, she is technically the main enemy of the Bureau, she must have secret information.

I shake my head.

\- Unfortunately not. She has some inside information, but there are things that not even Angela might know about this place. Have you noticed how everything is so ... protected? There are guards and electricity fences on all sides. It is not easy to get here.

\- It certainly will be an issue. For Jeanine mainly. How do you want her in here when the time comes?

I looked to Tori with anguish and my heart sank. I did not know how to answer her question.

\- I don't know. - I admit with regret - This is one more thing that we need to solve.

\- Let's think of one thing at a time. - Cara caught our attention. - We can not resolve all the issues at once. For now, let's just exploring, trying to absorb as much information as possible without arousing suspicion of David. According to what we find out, we can plan better.

\- My sister is right. - agreed Will. - We will strive to find as many things as possible. I think it's just what we can do for now.

I sighed and nodded.

\- In this case, that's all. Meeting closed. We need sleep.

One by one, my friends started to disconnect, taking off their glasses. Caleb stopped me when I raised my hand.

-What happen?

-Stay with me, Tris. It's almost 1:00 am and I have a surprise for you.

-See you tomorrow, Caleb, Tris - said Cara.

I nodded and Cara disconnected.

-Try to create something, Tris. How about ... ice cream?

I shrugged and closed my eyes. A chocolate ice cream appeared in the hands of my brother.

-Amazing.

-Just you want to I make you free ice cream, or is there a more important reason? We need to rest, Caleb.

-Does that mean I'm not an important reason? - asked a voice behind me.

I turned immediately to meet Jeanine. I almost did not recognize her. She had an open-necked blouse and dark pants, with hands in pockets. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail, very different from her usual straight and professional styling.

She looked relaxed, and those smile made her look much younger. She was smiling at me.

A familiar warmth spread across my chest, and I realized that until then I had been cold. I got up from the chair and looked closer, trying to figure out if she was part of the simulation or not.

-She's real- said Caleb.

-Congratulations on the success of your project, Mr Prior. I recommend that next time let me know before hiding one of your inventions in my luggage - Jeanine scolded my brother.

I did not know if it would work from so afar - Caleb shrugged and nervously tapped his hair.

-Are not you going to greet me, my dear?

I step to her, but before touching her, I stop on the way.

Jeanine rolls her eyes.

\- Come on, Beatrice. Do not be afraid. I am here right in front. You did not miss me?

Unable to resist any longer, I breaks the rest of the distance between us and embrace her. All my fears are gone when I realize that I can feel her in my arms. Warm, soft, and above all, real.

She hugs me back, closing her arms around me tightly. I felt like a drowning man clinging to a lifeboat. Until that moment I had not realized how much I missed her. In her arms, I finally could breathe.

All of me ached for her, for all of her. Her skin, her blond hair, her soft voice, her smell. Whole herself.

\- Breathe, dear - she said. -If I had know that it would cause you this imbalance I would not have come.

\- Don't even think about it - I growled. - Don't ever say such a thing! I missed you so much.

I didn't wait for her answer. Just I threw myself on her lips and kissed her. My kiss was violent, almost aggressive. I tried in a single kiss meet any need that I had it, I tried to undo the anguish that accumulated in my chest since the separation.

I realized she was trying to stay calm, but was so desperate as I was.

\- How are you? - I asked when my breathing calmed down. -I was about to die of worry.

\- I am fine. I'm with Angela. We are beginning to organize ourselves. How was your arrival at the Bureau?

\- It was relatively quiet. Apparently, David didn't suspect anything. He thinks that we are exactly what we want him to think: just curious teenagers who came from an experiment and want to discover the unknown world.

Jeanine nodded.

\- That's nice.

\- Now we need to get information, find out as much things possible. We need to find the weapons lab.

She looks at me, anxious and fearful.

\- Take care, Tris. For all that is most sacred, be particularly careful.

\- I know. I was talking to the group earlier. For now, we'll just act as if we were naive and ignorant of everything. You know, to win his trust. During this time, we will observe and investigate quietly.

\- It gives me so much anguish ... I do not feel well since you decided to reveal the video. I am powerless in front of something so important.

I stroked her hair. It was so nice feel them again on my fingers.

\- You're not powerless. When the time comes, you will do something, although I still prefer you to be locked in your room away from it all.

She shook her head negatively.

\- I think the same thing about you.

Interlacing my hands behind her back, Jeanine again attracted me and I gently kissed my neck and shoulder.

-This is the way we will communicate- I said smiling.

-It's almost perfect. Your brother has done a good job.

-Thanks! - Caleb said, eating his ice cream, forgotten on the table.

I looked at him rolling his eyes.

-By the way ... why are you dressed like that?

-I have to go unnoticed -Jeanine said shrugging.

-Not bad. But you leave me a problem.

-Trouble? Explain.

-On The one hand, your skirts and dresses let me see your legs. But that pants highlights how well is your ...

-Of God, Tris, I'm still here! - my brother yelled.

-Then go to sleep!

-I'm the one who has to go- Jeanine again shrugged apologetically. -Tomorrow early I have much to do. I can not go on here.

-Will you connect tomorrow? - I asked trying to hide my disappointment.

-I will, my dear.

Jeanine hand caught my hair and the other slightly scratched my shoulder, to remind me that she really was there. I put my hands on her cheeks and held out a little kiss, tasting as possible before the end.

-I love you. See you tomorrow.

-See you tomorrow.

And then she faded in my arms.

I sighed deeply and turned to my brother. Caleb pretended to be concentrating on his ice cream, but he was glancing me.

-You're completely crazy about that woman - he said emphasizing the obvious.

-I don't think there are better words to describe my case - I nodded.

* * *

 **Let me a review. I would like to know what you think about the story. Thanks for reading :)**


	20. Andrew and Natalie

**Jeanine**

 _I know this is a dream._

 _I know because I feel light, without any stress. I am not worried about the future, the city, the divergents, nothing. I am just walking down the street with my best friend, enjoying the sunshine. It's a beautiful day. He and I entered the park, being refugees by the shadows of the trees._

 _-Have you done the math work? - ask my best friend to me, worried._

 _-Yes, it was easy - I replied without slowing._

 _-Easy? You can't be talking seriously..._

 _-You just need to study harder, Andrew. Also, you will not learn math if you read fiction books all day -I chided him softly._

 _-Don't say it out loud, please. You know they are frowned upon._

 _Andrew and I continued walking to school. Even now, I know it's a dream, because I'm happy to just be there. Therefore, I am not too surprised when it turns into a nightmare._

 _David appeared on our way. Just in front of us. It's just there, standing, staring us with his mocking smile and dark eyes. He is impeccably dressed, blue from head to toe. His grin turns his face a picture of nightmare. Andrew and I stopped._

 _-Hello, little damaged - said happy. -Feeling happy in this city? Of course. And don't ever leave. You and I know what happens to the damaged outside, in the real world. Much more if they are pretty girls like you. You know it, right? Yes you know._

 _-Get out... - I can't control my voice. -Get out!_

 _-You know it, so you have no choice but to make sure that this city is protected. Although you don't want. But it is not abnormal, people like you are not born with the freedom to choose their destiny. You're not a human being, Jeanine. But you're not a monster. You are a weapon, a little upset weapon, and when you no longer useful will be destroyed._

 _-Th-that's not true! -I tremble like a stupid child. -¡Yo I'm not alone in this! Angela protect me!_

 _-She currently has her own problems. She can't live pending you - David smiles._

 _-Then Alma! Alma and I..._

 _-Alma Coin? Your first love? You broke her heart, stupid. You chose your job over her._

 _-M-My-father ..._

 _-He is already dead, remember?_

 _-Mom..._

 _-Don't count with me- my mother is beside me, her arms are crossed and looks at me with hatred. -I never wanted to be part of this. I wanted a daughter, not a monster. Do not count with me -shakes her head. -Get out of me._

 _-THEN ANDREW! - I shouted desperately._

 _I turned to see him. His clothes were gray and refused to look at me._

 _-Why do I always have to be the one to support you? I'm tired, forget it._

 _-No! - I cried. -That is not true! You're my best friend! You would never leave me!_

 _-I already did it -he responded with resentment. -That's exactly what I did. And it was the right decision. I'm sick of you! Of your selfishness! Your wickedness! ... In addition, Natalie is much more fun._

 _I did not move. I breathed. I looked away._

 _-... Beatrice?_

 _And as if I had called her, she was in front of me. She was so achingly beautiful that hurt my chest. I heard background music, loud, like rays._

 _-You've got to be kidding. God, you tortured me and experienced with me!_

 _-I..._

 _-You killed my friend!_

 _-...Did not want..._

 _-I was going to have the perfect life, in Dauntless. I was going to be free, I was going to be happy. And you ruined everything! How can you even think that I want to be around you?_

 _Andrew gently takes the elbow of Tris._

 _-Let's go from here, daughter._

 _Tris and Andrew walked away. David smiled mocking me, and goes with them._

 _I do not cry. I do nothing._ _I'm just there..._

* * *

And then I wake up. My body is covered with sweat, and my sheets are a mess. I wake up with a gasp, a giant breath, as if I was drowning. A nightmare. That's all it was. A stupid nightmare.

-She loves me -I tell myself amid the suffocating lack of air. -She forgave me. And she loves me. A lot.

The words cause me immediate relief only by the fact that they were spoken aloud. They seemed better that way. Truer.

Gently, I put my head on the pillow. I looked at the ceiling, counting the beats of my heart until it reaches a normal pace. I was extremely frustrated and angry. It's not fair to have a nightmare after a perfect moment. Especially after a perfect moment with Beatrice.

-She loves me.

I close my eyes hoping to see her smile behind my eyelids, but what I see is the David's dark face. I open my eyes and give up. And it was not his face that most terrified me there. It was not his sneer, not his presence. I had had nightmares about him throughout my life, he had haunted my thoughts throughout my teenage, but now he was no longer the focus of my own nightmares.

It was not about me. It was her.

She was there, in his territory, within the walls of the place he commanded. I was surprised to realize that this was the worse that I can do to ward off thoughts, as I was doing too often lately. Let fear and despair consume me would not help at all.

The clock on my side brand 5:30 AM, and I have no longer sleep. I imagine Beatrice sleeping soundly, as she probably is. I wanted more than anything to have my arm around her, feel her warmth and her scent and make sure she was safe. But this was not possible.

I, Jeanine Matthews, who always had everything and everyone under my control, could not have control over what was most precious to me: Beatrice, that idiot divergent. And that was frustrating and painful. More painful than anything. But Beatrice was smart. Almost as smart as me, although she would never admit it. And there was Caleb. Her brother was undoubtedly one of the most promising initiates that Erudite has received in years. He would be the first place in the standings, without a doubt. His latest invention was the concrete proof.

Secretly, I will be eternally grateful to him for everything. For helping me to save Beatrice, for helping Beatrice to save me, and now, for create something that would allow me to be close to her even though she is so far away. He would protect her from David or anything that threatened her, just as he initially tried to protect her from me. She would be safe with him and it relieved me for a moment.

Then the door opens and Angela enters the room. She is barefoot and without makeup. Her hair is loose and messy. Her appearance reminds me of the girl who had taken care of me and protected me throughout my life. She used to be that way when I was sleeping in her house and woke up because I was having a nightmare.

Even with sleepy and bleary eyes, she was determined to hold me and talk to me until the fear passes.

\- I did not know you had a habit of waking up so early.

She walks and sits next to me in bed and drives a small glance at the clock.

\- Actually, I do not usually wake up so early. But it was simply impossible to sleep after ...

\- A nightmare, right? You had a nightmare.

I gave her a sad smile, which had more irony that humor.

\- I think you have grown accustomed to my nightmares.

She took my hand, pulling my head to her shoulder, just as she did when we were little. Those moments beside her were the only times I felt totally safe. We were a few seconds in silence, but that did not bother us. None of us was good with words or feelings. The fact that we were created to be machines had a lot of fault on that.

\- What is this? - she points to the pair of dark glasses on the dresser next to me.

\- Some glasses created by Caleb Prior. This allows me talk with his group while we are asleep.

Angela took them in her hands, and watched the glasses shaking her head.

\- Is a good idea. Caleb Prior has imagination.

\- It will make communication easier between us.

\- I guess so - Angela left the glasses on the table. -I could not sleep.

\- Nightmares?

\- No. Long ago I do not have dreams or nightmares. Just eight hours sleep and I wake up. -Angela looked at her hands, moving her nails. -That means I am fine. Or rather that I can be.

I looked at her in silence. She was totally impenetrable, in a perfect way. She would never let her feelings to stand in her plans. Or in er duty. Suddenly she closed her eyes and stood up.

\- Well, I go to practice fencing.

\- Fencing? - I asked, incredulous.

\- Yes. It's relaxing. Although the chances of fighting with the sword are 0.076% in a real fight.

Angela was leaving. I realized that if she left, I will must have to try to sleep a little more, and it was the last thing I wanted.

-I will go with you.

* * *

By 9:00 I left the shower.

Of course, Angela beat me in fencing all morning. It does not take a genius to realize that sports are not my thing. Anyway, it was a good exercise.

I covered my body with a towel while looking for clean clothes. I wore a blue skirt, comfortable, and a light blue shirt with open fists. The blue comforted me so far from my home. Then I went upstairs, where were the monitors.

Angela has observed 9km around, amid the room of scientific development. We are not on vacation while Beatrice risks her life. Angela has a team of people developing more elaborate versions of my serums, trying to create effective weapons that affect the pure, the divergents.

I waved politely to the scientific Ava Paige and Bellatrix Black. They are intelligent, we get along well.

-Is it a calming or a paralyzing serum? - I asked Bellatrix approaching, and trying not to sound like a machine.

-Paralyzing- she responded boring. -Why are even different? Both serve to immobilize!

-The purposes are different - Ava replied quietly, as talk to a little girl.

-Can not we create a serum that simply kills? - Bellatrix said, her abundant black curls moving whenever nodded.

-No - I said curtly. It was no secret that Bellatrix Black was a little crazy, but did not think she was too childish.

-No - Ava said too. -Human rights, Bella, human rights ... at least until we can afford it.

-What if we were to need them in a near future?

-A Unconscious person can not attack, I think - Avareplied coldly. -And if we have to kill someone, it must be in the old way. Death Serums are a waste of time.

I turned and walked away before Bellatrix could answer, to the monitors. Well, it will not be easy to leave behind my old habits. But I have to do it for Beatrice. Make a good decision for once. Not disappoint her. Furthermore, we are not in Chicago. Death Serums are totally useless now.

I turned and watched Bellatrix Black and Ava Paige. Ava was arguing and trying to be patient.

I like them.

* * *

I was making a cleaning of system when rang a small bell on the monitor. It was the intruder alarm. Twenty white soldiers came hurrying down the hatches up. The wall screen showed images of that happening outside.

No. Damn it.

Andrew Prior and Natalie Wright were right above us.

-Just when I thought you could not be more idiot. - I whispered into the air.

I got up from the chair as driven by a spring.

The worst part were the stairs. Not that I had not used to stairs (Erudite was filled with long spiral stairs), but the urgency of the moment made it worse. And good, I did not have the physical preparation of a Dauntless. Miraculously, I managed to reach the highest floor before a tragedy happened.

In the main control room, Angela had electronic points in both ears and hissed frantically whoever was commanding soldiers. Far from the kind attitude that I was used to seeing at my friend, she looked like a destruction machine. Lethal and relentless.

\- No! - I shouted with all the force of my lungs.

Angela turned to look at me, as if I had grown three heads. The alarms were still sounding, continuous and distressing noise. I heard a voice coming from one of her electronic points, but she did not answer.

\- Stop! - I shouted, still gasping for having climbed three flights of stairs - Angela, you can not kill them! This is not an attack.

 _"At least I think so."_ I thought.

She did not express any emotion. Neither surprise, or confusion. Anything. Angela just turned her eyes again to the monitor and began to speak through the main microphone.

\- Immobilize them and bring them to me. Certify that they are unarmed. Don't hurt them, understand? If they do not resist, do not touch them.

Angela pulled the tiny points of her ears and got up from her chair. In the monitor behind her, I could see Andrew and Natalie walking ahead of half a dozen soldiers. They seemed calm, as if deal with it every day.

Damn. What were they doing here? Do they have any idea where they are getting into? What were they thinking?

I took a deep breath, to send oxygen to my brain and calm down. Always work, and this time was no different. Angela looked again at the monitor.

\- They are the parents of your girlfriend, am I right?

At that moment, I only managed to nod.

\- That is Andrew. I remember him ... a little. He used to play with you when you were a kids, right?... And I remember his wife, Natalie. - She said the name with a certain disgust - I believe they will bring problems, but let's hear what they have to say.

* * *

Being face to face with Natalie and Andrew was not at all what I imagined.

The experience was not as terrible as my hyperactive brain was considering, but that's not to say it was just nice. Natalie did not pay much attention to me. The brief look she gave me did not show anything special. But Andrew was different. His blue eyes remained the whole time on me. Intense, resentful, accusers.

His face had the same impression I had seen on the day that our friendship was over. On the day he saw me testing the Fear Serum in that factionless. And the accusation that he made me, was clear. I had destroyed all his city, and now I had corrupted her daughter, causing her to pass to my side.

I could not face him back for a long time, because I knew that the charge was fair. There was nothing that was not the most pure and clear truth.

\- Well - Angela began, sitting in the small makeshift interrogation chair. - Pure doesn't welcome here very often. But I think because of your knowledge, you should have a good reason. Is Natalie, right?

Natalie nodded.

\- I'm here simply because I want to help my children. My presence is not about an attack or conspiracy for genetic reasons. I'm not David.

\- From what I remember, you worked for him. And your daughter is also a pure, right?

She nodded again.

\- My daughter is a pure, and my son is a non-pure. Such thing as genetic deficiency means absolutely nothing to me.

Angela tilted her head slightly, a look that left frozen the fire. Her face was stone. Natalie remained calm but tense.

-I understand. - finally said. -You got something to say, Andrew Cornelius Prior?

Andrew's eyelid trembled slightly at his middle name.

-Purity and not-purity: I don't care. My sole purpose is to help my children. -He spat with a furious voice.

-Why you believe you two can help here? - I said, feeling frustrated.

Where else? You are the ones that are helping. - Andrew replied looking a point over my shoulder.

-You just come here, just like that?

-Nobody stopped us- Natalie said. -And nobody wanted to come with us. Some things came to light in Chicago. Mainly of Marcus Eaton and his son- Natalie looked at me for the first time. -Though I suppose that you knew. Anyway, there we are useless. Not here.

-There's nothing you can do here- replied coldly. -Just hinder us.

-I am pure, so maybe could be a test subject- Wright said firmly. Andrew remained calm, but paled. Suddenly he looked sick.

I can not believe it. Until such extremes was Wright willing to go?

-We already have- replied Angela. -They're here under their will. Some of them are my friends.

Natalie fixed her brown gaze on me.

-If it's true that you care my daughter, then prove it. I've been in the Bureau. You know as well as I do that I can be very useful.

-I have nothing to prove to any of you two- I said calmly. That was the truth. -Neither I have anything to do with you two. Not anymore.

-That's where you're wrong- spoke Andrew for the first time. His voice gave me a chill. -None of us would be alive. I almost died of a bullet, thanks to you, and if Beatrice's friends had not found Natalie she also had died. And that was for you.

-Anything else? - I replied coldly. I will not let Andrew see me weak.

-Yes. There is much more. Thousands of things ... which just this matter: my daughter was willing to give everything for you. And I want to believe that she is not entirely crazy. And where Beatrice and Caleb are, that's where I'll be. Not you, not the system, will separate me from my children anymore. You'll have to keep me a prisoner, but I'm not going anywhere.

Andrew for a moment was so upset and angry that surprised me. At that time, he was the picture of Beatrice. I remembered the anger in Beatrice's eyes. The moment she scratched my face and began to laugh and mourn hysterically. At that time I thought she was crazy, and for my fault. Also there was madness in her eyes as she pushed me against the wall of my room and we kissed for the first time.

-It's your decisión- said Angela with her hands in her pockets.

I took three steps and entered their personal space, both. I had not been so close to them in years and was not a comfortable feeling.

-You two stay. But if you are a nuisance, I will consider your idea, Andrew, and will lock you in the darkest dungeon I found.

I turned and left the room angry, fists clenched. I would have given anything in the world for that Beatrice was there with me now.

* * *

 **Let me a review :)**


	21. Secrets

**Jeanine**

\- Well. - Natalie sat next to Andrew and looked me straight in the eye. - What's the plan, if there is one?

Her concentrated expression, her curious and determined eyes reminded me Caleb. It was the same expression he had when he said that would help me save Beatrice.

''Yes.'' He had said after our long conversation in the privacy of my lab. ''If your desire is to save my sister, then we have exactly the same goal. In this case, yes, of course I'll help you. "

The moment he said that, I had two lonely tears running down my cheeks. That was the first time I cried in years, but my relief was bigger than my shame.

And now here was his mother, with the same determination and with the same goals. Comparing it to Caleb, I could almost feel sympathy for Natalie.

Almost.

\- There is a plan at Beatrice's side - I said turning away. -I leave it clear that I never agreed with it, but you should know well your own daughter to know that I could not do anything.

The ghost of a smile formed on Natalie's lips.

\- Yes, I understand perfectly. Beatrice is a person who lets nothing and no one to come between her and what she wants. Not even a person she loves.

I noticed Andrew's jaw clench a rigid line to hear that Beatrice loved me.

\- She wants to go through a sympathizer of the Bureau and its ''ideal'' - I can not help convey my contempt for those place through my voice. - She wants to win the sympathy of David, that he believes that she is reliable. Thus, she will can act with more freedom and security.

\- Act? - Andrew looked at me for the first time in a long time. - What does this mean?

I took a deep breath, trying to undo the knot of anxiety formed in my chest every time I thought about it. Say the words out loud did not help.

\- One of the greatest weapons of the Bureau is the Memory Serum. I believe Abnegation knew it very well - I throw an incisive look at Andrew and Natalie. -They use it to restart the experiments that are going out of control. Tris had the idea to use this Bureau's weapon against itself.

-Use the Memory Serum against Bureau? - Natalie frowned. -How does it ...?

Natalie's face freezes. Her eyes widen and she seems to finally understand. Andrew looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something.

\- Memory Serum - she says. -Of course. The weapons laboratory.

Suddenly, my heart races and hope lights up in me like a fire fed by fuel. I looked Natalie like she was my lifeline.

\- Do you happen to know where it is?

\- No - she answers, and my hopes dissolve in a puff of smoke. - As much as David trusted me, he never gave me access to this special place. And I also never had the curiosity to explore on my own.

I give a long, frustrated sigh. I tried to understand that it's not Natalie's fault, there is no reason for to be angry with her, but my frustration got the worst of me.

-Tris want to find the weapons laboratory and spread the serum of memory within the Bureau. Of course, not before inoculate herself and her friends so they are also not affected. Thus David will no longer be a threat to non-pure.

\- I have to admit that a great idea - Angela pronounced for the first time, causing Andrew and Natalie looked at her. -We just need to find a specific way to help her.

\- If we could find out where is the weapons laboratory... - I continue - ... we could spare her to risk trying to figure out.

\- I really want to know - Natalie now appears as frustrated as I am. I can see in her eyes how much she regrets not having sought this information while she was still within the walls of Bureau. -But I don't know. I have no idea.

\- So we need to continue with the original plan - said Angela. -Let's watch Beatrice and her companions while they discover vital information. If anything wrong take before that, let's intervene at any time.

\- How can you monitor the Bureau here? - Asked Natalie, looking at Angela, confused.

\- Well ... We, emphasis on the ''we'', can not. Jeanine can. Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Prior. Your son is a genius.

As expected, Andrew and Natalie look to me for answers. I told them about the invention of Caleb, and the ability to share dreams with Beatrice. In the end, Natalie has a proud smile on her face.

\- I'm not surprised about that - she said. -He was always very smart. Smarter than desirable for Abnegation, although he hid it very well.

\- He made the right choice by leaving the Abnegation. - I told her - No person should have their talents repressed.

Andrew looked at me furious and I just ignore him.

\- Let's be aware, if is all we can do - concluded Angela. - Jeanine will speak with Beatrice again tonight, and we may have some news by tomorrow. When the time is right, we'll know what to do.

Andrew and Natalie were undecided a moment, then nodded, resigned.

Natalie told us everything she knew about the Bureau. Though perhaps things had changed, but the information was useful anyway. Andrew remained calm silence until his wife stopped talking.

To my surprise, later Andrew helped Bellatrix and Ava and other scientists in their projects in the sector 4. I should not have been surprised. At the end of the day, he was an Erudite-Borned. One of the best, but he always hated math. But I did not think he remained so smart after all these years.

I left there and went back to my computer.

I reviewed the plan of the Bureau hundreds of times, reviewing the outputs, inputs, doors, offices. Somewhere in that place, he was hidden the weapons laboratory. If only I knew where ...

-Are you fine? - Angela does not look at me, she was involved in some papers.

-I will be. - I do not look at her.

-Maybe you should fix things with Andrew.

My fingers froze on the computer.

-Why should I do that? - I barely whispered.

-He was your best friend. And now, your "father-in-law".

-So what? - I answered curtly.

-And, eventually, Tris would have to choose between her father and you. And I'm sure you do not want that - she do not look at me yet.

I turned my chair and stared at her.

-She would not do that.

For the first time, Angela looked at me. Her eyes were calm.

-Love is not selfish.

I was about to answer "What do you know?" but I did not. In part, because I knew she was right. I was being selfish, and proud. And sore. After so many years I still hurted losing my best friend.

I still remember our screams, the big fight the day before the Choosing Ceremony. Then silence. And I felt like someone had been ripped an arm.

I did not answer to Angela, I returned to my business. In the end she did the same.

* * *

I took off my clothes, staying in my panties and bra, and went to bed. I took the glasses from my bedside table and put them on.

A few seconds later I was beside a narrow lake, on a beautiful autumn evening. The leaves fell slowly and the breeze blowing in my face.

Caleb Prior and Cara real thought has gone into this. It feels very real. I stretched my hand and caught a firefly flying in the wind, feeling its touch in my fingertips. Very real.

Beatrice did not see me at first. She was under an oak tree, sitting on a red blanket, playing with her "powers" of simulation. She did appear a sandwich, then orange juice, and then three hamburgers and ice cream.

-You're hungry. Do not they feed you? - I said approaching.

Beatrice saw me and smiled a little. I love her smile, because it's special. She does not usually smile a lot, but she smiles when she is with me. And that makes me smile.

I sit next to her, and she shrugs.

\- I didn't want to eat when I'm there. And at the end of all, this is just a simulation. Besides being a lot of fun.

Unable to wait a moment longer, I lean and caught her face in my hands and kissed her.

Her smile vanishes, giving way to concentration. She seems to be one hundred percent delivered to that kiss, as if not wanting to miss even a second of it with anything else. Not a word, not a smile or any other distraction. Sometimes, I feel smug as I realized how much she wants me.

Once she move away, she is breathing quickly. Her face is red and the blue of her eyes looks even more incandescent.

It was hard to believe it was just a dream, the result of an invention. It was too real, too sensorial. As a scientist, nobody had never come close to creating something not even like that.

For a moment, I felt jealous of Caleb.

\- It's hard, is not it? - She said for the first time in a long time. - It's almost surreal to believe that we are here, and while we aren't ...

\- Yes - I said. -I was thinking the exact same thing.

She moves away a bit, trying to compose herself.

Beatrice brings out two glasses next to the orange juice. She fills them and puts one in front of me.

\- I hope this isn't too sweet. I don't know if I can control these things through simulation.

I picked up the glass and drank a sip of the orange juice. It's perfect.

\- It is right - I answered. -How was your day?

She takes a deep breath, somewhat frustrated.

\- Tedious. Totally useless. We visited laboratories, and made a stupid genes test -she rolled her eyes.

\- And your result ... One hundred percent divergent, right?

Beatrice nodded and pursed her lips as if she was worried about something.

\- Yes. The surprise was result of Tobias. We found that he isn't divergent. His reaction ... let's just say he's not well.

The surprise and curiosity stirred within me. That was normal, considering who I was, but lately I have not been having time to feel a curiosity so uncompromising.

\- I can not deny that this young man has always intrigued me. He always had such divergent characteristics as non-divergent. And I've never been able to understand why.

\- Do you remember the day of the attack to Abnegation? - She asks uncomfortably. I can see her become pale for a moment, and a cold shiver runs through my body.

It was not a day that I could forget.

\- Yes - I answer, in a voice too low.

\- Well ... when we were captured, Tobias and I, and we were with you in that office, you told us you had a theory: that his divergence was weaker. Well, you were wrong. He doesn't have any divergence. He is only able to handle some simulations. They said it is an interesting anomaly. God! It is correct to refer to people like that?

\- No. - I say with sorrow - And that's why this place should not to exist.

I feel that she can see the twinge of irritation that started to form in me.

\- And on your side? Did something happen important?

For a moment, I wanted to tell her no, and convince her that my day had been as tedious as hers. But I could not do that. If I wanted to become the person she deserved, the lie was not the right way.

\- Actually yes.

She looked at me curious, hopeful.

\- True? And what is it?

\- Your parents - I said with disgust. - They found us and joined us.

Beatrice's eyes widened at the same time as her mouth opened.

\- My ... my parents? How ...?

She seemed unable to utter a complete sentence. She was in shock.

\- It is a very long and complicated story. I can not fully explain it in one conversation. But only for clarity, your mother was from the Bureau. She was not born in the experiment, but was placed on it.

It took five seconds that Tris's face was completely pale. Then it was colored red.

-What?

I did not answer.

-What!? And nobody came up to tell me it could be important or something? Why did not anyone tell me? Why she did not tell me?

Anger exploded in her face. I had almost forgotten her burning anger.

-Bea...

-Don't "Beatrice" me! I'm sick of secrets! It is assumed that a family has no secrets, Jeanine! Why did you not tell me?

Honestly, because it never occurred to me. The times in which Wright was in the Bureau are so remote that I barely remember. It is not easy to relate the correct Natalie Prior from Abnegation to the brave and impulsive soldier Natalie Wright.

-Because it is not for me to say, Tris.

-Liar.

She got up and walked out along the lake. Without thinking twice I followed her. At first she tried to ignore me. But then she turned around and glared at me.

-Stop following me!

I followed her anyway.

I could not think of nothing else to say, so I remained silent. Tris stopped suddenly near the lakeshore. She began to appear stones and kicked it hard.

After three minutes, she stopped with the stones and turned to me.

-I'm not angry with you- she said looking the grass.

-Really? - I asked somewhat surprised. I had expected some more shouting.

-I should be accustomed to secrets- she stuck her hands in her pockets. - And to have no idea who they really are my parents.

-They are two people who love you.

Why the hell did I bother to defend Natalie and Andrew? Perhaps I just wanted to make Beatrice feel better.

Tris looked at me intently with her blue eyes. She was very serious.

-I know. I also know that I will forgive them when I see them again, because I love them too much to lose them. But I won't stand being lied to. Anyone. Never. Even you.

-I know - I smiled and stroked her hair, she relaxed a bit. -I know.

I kissed her cheekbone and hugged her. I could not help it, she looked so sad and angry. I just wanted to hold her in my arms, but that did not fix anything. Tris hardened a few seconds, and then gently hugged me, tickling my neck with her nose.

-I love you.

And I was surprised to find it was the first time I said it, after all we went through. And I said so naturally, because she was there and I wanted to tell her.

-I know.

This was my Beatrice. The girl of my nightmare did not existent. This was my main reason for wanting to be good again.


	22. Torture

I woke up that morning feeling worse than before.

It was strange, because after seeing and touching Jeanine, making sure that she was well and whole, I should feel, at least, relieved.

But strangely, it was not how I felt.

The fact that it was just a simulation gave me a greater perspective of the distance between us. I gave me account that we were so far away that we could see and speak only through shared dreams.

I touched her, but I could not really touch her. I kissed her, but the kisses were the result of an artificial connection.

It was a little nerve-racking.

I touched my shoulder where she had scratched hard enough to leave a red mark. There was nothing there. We were far apart, out of reach from each other.

I sighed, trying to ward off the distressing thoughts, but it became even more difficult to think of my parents and all that Jeanine had said.

My mother came from this place. That same place I had learned to hate with all my strength. What had led her to be part of it? To serve those people who had a vision so distorted about human beings?

And she never told me a single word about it.

Part of me wanted to understand her, because she probably just wanted to protect me, but the other part felt a profound sorrow at being deprived of an information that had an importance so vital.

I shook my head and finally got up from the bed. Whatever it was, I would not gain anything hurting me with those thoughts. They just would make me weak, and, in those circumstances, the weakness was something I had no right.

I took a quick shower and dressed up in the clothes they provided me. I felt strange wearing a red shirt, but I remembered that they did not live in factions and colors probably meant nothing to them.

Looking into the mirror, suddenly, I imagined myself dressed in blue.

It was a strange and unexpected fantasy, but the image just came into my head and I could not push it away.

I figured me wearing a blue dress and, over it, a coat like Jeanine's.

I imagined my hair (now in disarray) perfectly coiffed and tidy. In my face, a soft but expressive makeup.

I had always vehemently rejected Erudite because of the hatred that my father felt for them, but now that I was madly in love with the Erudite leader, the desire to be a Erudite had lit in me automatically.

And that was just one of many things that had changed radically in that tiny space of time between the day I surrendered to Jeanine and now.

I wondered how would be the city, and what was going on in our absence. Jack and Johanna must be doing a good reorganization job, (a job with peace and justice as main bases) and other people would be trying to get some normalcy in their lives after the revelation.

Little did they know that the Bureau had plans to "reintegrate them" to the world, which was the same as dip them in hell.

Thinking about this renewed my energies. That was the reason I was there: to prevent that from happening. So that I and all those people could have a future of peace beside whom we loved. And I could not fail.

In the moment I would leave the bedroom, my eyes caught sight of a folded paper on the floor by the door.

I frowned and leaned over to pick it up. I unfolded it and saw that there was only one sentence written in small letters.

"Find George in the cafeteria after breakfast. He will guide you to my office where we can talk more at ease.

David. "

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

I wondered what David would talk to me. Was he suspicious of me or my friends? He wanted to test me or something?

"He is a wolf in sheep's clothing." Jeanine's voice resonated in my mind "David will greet you with one hand and stick a dagger in your back with the other."

I pushed the fear to the back of my mind and I kept the paper in my pocket. If I wanted to win the confidence of David, that would be the first step.

* * *

When I entered the cafeteria, I realized that I was the last to arrive.

My friends were together, eating and talking casually.

Christina and Will were implying with one another about something, and making provocations like any couple. I envied them. I wanted to be next to my girlfriend the same way they were together.

Cara seemed lost in thought. Her eyes stared at nothing and she seemed unaware that she was stirring her porridge by time too, and it probably was already cold.

I wondered what she was thinking. With those expressionless and calculating eyes, she looked like Jeanine.

Tobias was sitting on the end table. He had dark circles and looked tired, as if he had not slept all night. His eyes had a manic brightness, the brightness of a new idea or a new discovery. He seemed about to explode.

I felt my heart quicken. Tobias would have discovered something important? Something that could help us? What could have changed so much in one night he was probably asleep?

Suddenly, I could hardly wait for bedtime. And that would be a long day before we could talk again through the simulation.

I said "Good Morning" and sat in the only empty seat beside Caleb.

\- You look tired. - He frowned - You did not go up all night, right?

\- No. - I took a deep breath and put some milk in my cereal bowl - We can say that my fatigue is more emotional than physical.

Caleb sipped his juice and set the glass back on the table.

\- Explain yourself?

I took a cereal spoon to my mouth and chewed slowly, postponing my answer as long as possible. Caleb continued to stare at me, waiting.

\- Let's say we did not know all that we should know. Some important informations were withheld. Of us, mostly.

\- Informations? What are you talking about, Beatrice?

I looked around, suspiciously.

Tori was talking to George in the left corner of the cafeteria, and Tobias's expression seemed back to normal. More or less.

\- I'll tell you after. Now, ironically, I have even greater concerns.

\- Withheld informations and now even greater concerns?

\- Before leaving my bedroom, I found a note on the door. - I explained - David wants to see me in his office.

Caleb's eyes widened.

\- What does he want with you? - His voice was low, but scared.

\- I'm going to find out. George will lead me to him. Whatever it is, I do not think is good.

He looked at me with fear, but with resignation.

\- I wish I could help you, but I believe it will not be possible.

I gave him a small smile.

\- No, you can not. But I'll be fine.

He returned my smile, but the nervousness was evident in his face.

\- Hey, Tris? - Uriah called to me from across the table - Are you okay? Or the bed was so uncomfortable to you do not sleep all the night?

I knew he was saying, subtly, that I had spent the night with Jeanine. I rolled my eyes.

\- I can assure I slept enough, Uriah.

\- I understand. - He blinked and took a bite of his cookie - Just enough.

We finished eating in silence, and then George walked over to the table with Tori at his side.

I did not see a so great brightness in Tori's eyes since I had known her.

\- Well, Tris. - He said looking at me. - I think you already know ...

It was still strange to see people I knew within a day calling me like that in such a carefree manner.

\- Yeah. - I got up from the table - Can we go now.

* * *

I follow George through narrow corridors that are full of people. Some of them wear blue uniform, some green uniform. I wonder what it mean.

\- I believe it is being difficult for you. - George speaks for the first time - I mean, understand all this in such a short time.

\- Yeah. - I strive to look honest - Let's say my head is spinning, but my feet still stuck to the floor.

\- That's nice. It will help you to adapt. The faster you get used, the easier it will be to you to leave your old life behind and start a new one.

I frown and my face contorts into a grimace. So that's what he thinks? That I'm willing to leave my whole life behind and join me to them?

It seems absurd, but probably everyone in this place think that way.

Finally, we come to a wooden door.

George opens, and David greets us with a smile.

David's office was the simplest place I had seen in the Bureau to date.

There was only a desk with a computer and the chair in which David was sitting. Behind there was a window open, revealing a view of the gardens of the complex.

\- Thank you, George. - He says in a warm voice, but that caused me cold - I believe Srt. Prior has many new things to learn.

\- I'm sure, sir. I'd better leave you alone.

George goes, leaving me alone with the man who, unknowingly, was on top of my list of enemies.

\- Well ... - he starts - Beatrice Prior, right?

I want to roll my eyes. As if he did not already know my name, my last name and every step I gave all my life.

\- Yeah. - I say innocently.

\- I see that you and your friends are adapting well to their new reality. I'm glad for that. Most people who come from experiments often have difficult moments in the beginning.

He stares at me deeply. Yes, I'm sure he's testing me, sizing me up.

\- I think it's because we are young. Young people tend to have more open-minded to change.

He nods.

\- Indeed. And you should know that your city was the most successful experiment that we had so far. Chicago managed to keep the peace for much longer than any other city. Despite the actions of Erudite leader, of course.

I gasp to see him talk about Jeanine. I could not to show any emotion friendly towards her. And that was probably the hardest thing I had to do.

\- Jeanine wanted to kill the Divergent because she considered them dangerous to our society.

\- And somehow, she was right. You were dangerous to her. To the reality of what she did not want to leave, and so, she committed atrocities. But I do not think we could expect anything else. She was a genetically damaged, after all. To our luck she's dead.

I want to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze it until his eyes jump out, but I can just nod.

\- It's amazing this thing of genetic damage. - I say looking into his eyes - I never thought Jeanine's actions were due to her genes. But now that I know the truth, it makes a lot of sense.

\- Jeanine was raised and educated to be a weapon against us. Her own father prepared her for this. He used a kind of "method" created by the father of that woman you met. Angela.

I lift an eyebrow, in mock surprise.

\- Angela?

\- Yes. Their parents were friends, and one taught the method to the other. I have some files that can clarify it to you.

He opens the drawer, looking for something.

In the end, he shows a small old recorder, but well maintained. He leaves it on the table and looks carefully.

\- Honestly, Beatrice, the world has been too unfair to you. I know from experience. I am 97% pure, and I know the envy and resentment that it can cause. I can not even imagine a 100% Pure.

\- Life is never easy. - I answer looking at the recorder and him.

\- Never is, it is true. Right decisions are often the most difficult. We try to make life a little easier to the impure, but there is not much we can do against nature. They can not prevent to be like they are.

\- Sorry, but I think we should cut to the chase.

David looks at me with something like indifference. At that time, with blond hair and gray eyes, he looks grim and hard as stone.

\- You wonder why I have talked about this. You're the only person in the world, for now, that has nothing of genetic damage. The human race fixes itself, and soon, will be born more people like you. Over time. The task of the Bureau is to work to make it happen. And for that, you must know the degeneration against which we struggle.

He takes the tape recorder in his hands.

\- It's an audio. The video was censored.

He presses the buttons.

I hear, curious and while fearful, the static of the tape. Then, distant sounds, like footsteps.

 _"Why are we here?"_ Asks a child's voice.

No one answers. For a few seconds, there is only static.

 _"What are you doing?"_ Asks the same voice, curiously.

 _"Jeanine, please stay silent a moment."_ \- says a tense, quiet voice.

And it is at that moment that my curiosity becomes fear.

 _"Why are we here Daddy? Why do not you talk to me?"_

There is a click, a metallic noise.

 _"What is this? Take it away! I-it hurts!"_

 _"It is for you not to move."_ More metallic noises _"Let's start. You must to keep your face expressionless, no matter what happens, always. When you succeed, we will end."_

 _"What?"_

A strong buzz.

And then, the screaming starts.

 _"Stop screaming."_

This doesn't happen.

 _"Stop screaming! This is important! Please, just do it!"_

But this doesn't happen. The girl keeps screaming and screaming and the screams echo throughout the room and I want to vomit. I do not know what keeps me composed. I really do not know.

And finally, there is silence.

 _"Good."_ says the voice, now hoarse. _"Do not shake your lips. Very good."_

The buzz continues, but there is no other scream.

David stops the recorder.

\- The damaged can't to ruin our future. That's all for what we fight. The future. - he returns the recorder to the drawer.

I can not look him in the eyes for a long time. All my forces are concentrated to contain the horror and panic that plague me.

The room is spinning and my stomach is overturned in a very strong twinge of nausea.

Jeanine.

The little girl being tortured in the audio is my Jeanine.

\- Forgive me, Tris. - says David finally - I know this is revolting, and I wish it were not necessary to show it to you. But is needed you to understand what happens when you remove from a person all the compassion. You need to have full knowledge of your mission, our mission, which is precisely tear off this evil of our world. Are you willing to help us?

\- Yeah. - I whisper, trying to swallow the nausea - I'm totally willing.


	23. Nita

I do not know how I could leave the office.

I do not know how I managed to find the way back to the dorm.

Jeanine's screams still resounded in my mind, so that I had wanted to scream too.

I threw myself on my bed, panting. Hot tears rolled down my face as I tried to calm my breathing.

I not even realized that my brother had followed me and entered the room with me.

\- It was horrible, Caleb. - I sobbed between the arms of my brother, who stroked my hair continuously. - Her cries ...

I closed my eyes, feeling the horror fill my mind again. Caleb hugged me tighter.

\- All right, Beatrice. You do not need to remember if it makes you so badly. Honestly, even without having heard the recording, I'm in shock. How can a father do that to his own daughter? What kind of monster he was?

\- Someone who could never be called a father.

\- Do you think he suspects something between you and Jeanine?

I lifted my head from his shoulder and dried the tears. Caleb just looked at me scared.

\- I do not know, but the way he did it, as if to test my reaction to her suffering... Well, it seems so.

He nodded.

\- We need to reach our goals as quickly as possible and leave this place. Four said he has something to tell us tonight. Something that can shorten our quest in hundred times.

I thought about Tobias and his manic look at breakfast.

\- I knew there was something going on with him. But what is? By chance he found out where is the weapons room?

\- I do not know. He did not tell us anything explicitly for reasons to security, of course. But he gave us much hope. Maybe we do not have to stay here for much longer. Speaking of secrets, you told me something in the cafeteria, something like withholding important information. What exactly was you referring to?

I looked at him and sighed. After my meeting with David, the question of my parents had stayed in a hidden part of my brain. Suddenly, it not even bothered me so much.

\- It's about our parents. Our mother, specifically. Our mother was not born in our city, like us. She came from here. From The Bureau.

At that moment, I saw the color to vanish from Caleb's face.

\- H... how?

\- Jeanine told me last night, but she did not elaborate. All I know is that she came from here and was included in the experiment. And that's not all: our parents, both of them, they found the place where Jeanine is, and we joined to her and Angela. They are involved in the plan.

Caleb took a deep breath, clenching his fists.

\- Genial.

Then he buried his face in his hands and did not speak for a long time.

\- We're screwed. - Caleb said after a long silence.

\- Be more explicit, if you do not mind.

\- Our mother came from The Bureau. Why David did not mention anything to us about that? - my brother looked at me. - They suspect of us.

Caleb rose.

\- I have to go talk to Cara. See you tonight.

* * *

That night, I connected a little later than normal.

I took my time to breathe deep and erase the screams in my mind. When I was sure I would not have a fit of rage or something, I took off my clothes and went to bed. Then I put my glasses.

To my surprise, I found in the Erudite headquarters.

Well, not entirely perfect. It looked much like, but Tobias, obviously, made some changes. The libraries were gone, and Jeanine's portrait had a pair of small horns and glasses drawn with black marker.

I looked accusing Tobias and Uriah.

\- It was him. - Tobias said.

His voice was so indifferent as if he was talking about the weather.

\- Do not believe! It was him. - Uriah said.

\- Tobias is not so childish. - I said seriously.

\- Who says it was not someone else?

\- Please, Uriah. Only erase this.

Uriah sighed and focused to remove the picture. Instead, there appeared a picture of a hamburger.

\- What? I'm hungry.

Caleb and Cara, along with Peter and Lynn were the last to arrive. Tobias stood.

\- Okay, I need to talk to you about something very important.

\- We all know, Tobias. - said Lynn - It was hard to ignore your psychopath look all day.

Tori snapped her fingers and gave rise to a huge couch, where we all sit.

\- Right. Last night, when I entered my bedroom, soon after finding out that I am not divergent, I found a note on my bed. It was from Nita, the girl who showed us to our rooms the first day we were here.

\- Nita? - Peter raised an eyebrow - That strange girl? What she has to do with it?

Tobias glared at him.

\- Have more respect for her. - he said, through clenched teeth - She may be the key to all of our goals.

\- Excuse me, but I still do not understand.

\- Okay, Tris. - he sighed - I will explain at once. Nita witnessed my reaction when I was told that I was "deficient" and she became interested in it. She is a kind of revolutionary, and she wants, like us, take the power from the Bureau.

\- Nita? A revolutionary? - Christina moved on the couch beside Will - It's a little hard to believe.

\- But she is. And more than that, she know where the weapons lab.

My throat closed at this time. I looked at Tobias, incredulously.

\- Weapons Lab? Wait, you told our plans to a stranger?

\- Of course not. - He said - But, coincidentally, she seems to have the same plans we. I mean, a plan very similar to ours. Nita also wants the memory serum.

\- And who assures us that she is not a David's spy? She's taking us into a trap and then report everything to him?

Tobias sighed, somewhat irritated.

\- You need to trust more on people.

\- Trusting someone of the Bureau? Someone with whom I never had a word directly?

\- Hey! - Tori was manifested for the first time - You both will not waste our time fighting, right?

\- Tobias is fascinated by a beautiful girl and decided to risk all of us trusting her without even knowing who she is. - I said sarcastically.

\- For the last time, Tris. I did not say anything to her. Nita is who told me a lot about her life. She took me to the border and introduced me to some of her friends. She showed me the conditions in which the impure live out of the Center. And believe me, it is not something nice to see. I did not say anything about who we are and what we are doing here. Obviously I would not do it without consulting all of you. And that's exactly what I'm doing now.

Silence reigned in the environment.

\- Well ... - said Cara - She know where the weapon lab ... and this is exactly the information we are looking for, and frankly? We're not even close to find out. If this girl give us this information, 90% of our path will be traveled.

\- She wants to steal the memory serum and for this she asked for my help. - Tobias insisted - Nita has a great thirst for justice, and she wants to see the Bureau defeated. If she knows that our plan is even better ... Well, let's say that there will be absolutely nothing in which she will not help us.

If she is an Impure, it makes no sense she be working for the Bureau. - Peter said with arms crossed.

\- So it is that I am sure she will want to help us.

Tobias looked so sure that maybe he was right. But honestly, how know if Nita would not betray us?

But then, time was running out to us, and the options as well.

I clenched my fists. Although it was a simulation, I felt the tension build up in my hand anyway.

\- Tomorrow I'll talk to her in person, Tobias. - I answered. - If she's really an ally, no problem. But if in the end she is only deceiving us...

In that case, we were screwed.

* * *

Cristina stayed with me when everyone were turned off. I did appear a blue sky with clouds and a beach, with waves beating against the sand.

She and I were in a green blanket, on the floor, one next to the other.

\- I love this. - Christina said - It must be great. I mean, to manipulate the world to your will.

\- Well, you can see for yourself. Come on, try something!

Christina looked at her hands and focused. And then, she was holding a chocolate cake. The dauntless chocolate cake.

\- Genial!

Excited, she began to eat it.

I laced my hands behind my head and watched the artificial sky.

The clouds became gray like Jeanine's eyes.

\- Tris?

I pulled the clouds away as fast as I could.

\- I'm sorry.

\- I think we need a friend's conversation. - Christina began - A good and long friend's conversation. Here there is nobody to watch us.

\- Do not count on it for long. Maybe Jeanine connect.

\- Why she always connect when we're gone?

\- Have you seen the picture that Uriah did. I do not deceive myself, most of my friends hate her and it can be ever so. It would be terribly uncomfortable being all together at the same time.

Christina did not speak immediately.

\- Tris ... Will wants to have sex.

I must have transformed my face because Christina became totally red. And it was not easy with her skin tone.

\- God, do not make that face!

\- I .. I'm sorry. - I shook my head slightly. - That's ... You want?

\- I do not know. - she bit her lip. - Sometimes yes. But I do not want to do something wrong. It's just ... Arg! Blondes are so desperate.

She was absolutely right.

\- You want me to give you some advice? - I asked almost incredulously. I had no idea what to say.

\- Actually, no. I just wanted to ask you ... - she got even redder - What ... what did you felt when you lost your virginity?

Oh no. She was not asking me that.

A fierce storm began on the beach. As I sensed I could not stop it, I created a huge umbrella over us.

Christina looked embarrassed but curious, suddenly sitting with legs crossed.

I remembered the time when I had no friends. Beautiful time.

\- I do not feel comfortable talking about it. - I said, shivering a little and not with cold.

\- Come on, Tris!

\- No!

\- Just tell me! Please.

\- What you want to know, anyway? - I answered grumbling.

\- It was good?

I bit my lip and tried to find some useless salvation in the sand.

\- I...I suppose so.

\- Was she delicate or rude?

Oh my God.

\- A mixture of both.

Why the hell the universe put me in this situation?

\- Did you had an orgasm?

\- Christina!

\- What?

\- I will not answer that!

\- That means if you had it!

I hit her on the shoulder while she began to laugh.

\- I'm not surprised. Today I saw an article that said that the cooler people are the best in the bed.

\- Shut up now!

\- There's nothing wrong, Tris. Besides, you've helped me overcome my concerns.

\- And how to know that Jeanine is excellent in the bed can help, if I may ask?

Christina was about to answer, but suddenly her face went blank and she looked behind my shoulder.

\- What?

I looked back ... and there was Jeanine.


	24. Suturing

Jeanine was standing behind us with arms crossed. Her hair was blowing gently in the wind and her gray eyes were looking at the sky.

\- Jean ... - I called her. My face was hot and probably red.

Christina was mortified. Her mouth was open and her face was deep red.

\- Well ... I think it's time to go. - She took off her glasses and disappeared.

Once she was gone, Jeanine looked back at me.

\- You were saying to your friend how I am in the bed?

I realized that I was fool to think there was nothing worse than Christina asking me embarrassing questions. Jeanine asking me questions was much worse.

\- No! - I responded immediately - Not exactly ... She was just wondering about ...

At this point, Jeanine started laughing. A sharp and musical laughter. A real laughter, coming from the depths of her soul.

And I was torn between staying relieved that she was not disgusted or angry because she was having fun at the expense of my embarrassment.

\- I do not care. - she shrugged - It's not like people don't know what two persons who are together do ...

She smirked.

\- Oh, please Jean! - I covered my face with my hands - Please! You also want to dedicate your day to embarrass me?

Jeanine shook her head, smiling, and walked the rest of the way to me.

She put both hands on my shoulders and kissed me.

\- My poor Beatrice. Abnegation will never leave you, right?

\- With regard to this kind of subject? I do not think so.

We kissed again.

My lips went down to her neck, kissing and biting gently. Her smell ... By God, it maddened me.

\- Not that I do not like the place you have created. - She said - But today I want spend our time in a particular place.

I raised my head from her neck.

\- What?

She looked around, then looked down at her hands.

\- This really works, right?

\- Yeah. - I said - Anything do you want, when and the way you want. I love it.

\- Right. - she grabbed both my hands in hers - Then come with me.

We both closed our eyes.

When I opened my eyes again, we were in a bedroom.

Not in any bedroom, but in her bedroom.

Above us, we could see the stars twinkling over the ceiling glass under which was her bed.

The bed was unmade, just as we had left the last time we slept there.

And we were on the same bed, embraced under the sheets in which we made love for the first time.

It was like I was coming home.

\- Oh my god ... - I muttered unable to complete my sentence.

Jeanine was looking around, haunted.

\- That's really fascinating. - she thought for a moment - Let's see ... A melon. I want a melon.

Immediately, the fruit arose into her hands, entire and closed. Jeanine rolled her eyes.

\- From what I see, I must be very specific. I want a sliced melon. On a tray.

The entire melon disappeared, and in its place came up a tray with several slices of melon cut into small pieces.

She took a slice and bit it.

\- Perfect.

\- Sorry, but you seem a bit childish. You know, a child playing with a new toy.

Jeanine shrugged.

\- That's exactly what I thought the first time I saw you using these "powers".

I just laughed, without a smart answer to give her.

\- Okay, you're right. I believe it is impossible to act like a mature adult with this thing. It's too much fun.

\- Indeed. - Jeanine takes another slice of melon and put it in my mouth.

I can't say it's my favorite fruit in the world, but is relatively tasty.

There, looking at her quiet face, I imagine how she must have been as child. Then her cries of pain coming back to my mind, and I shudder.

-What is wrong?

The tranquility left her face. It was as if a wind had destroyed a house of cards.

We were in a deadly silence. At that time I tried to change my facial expressions, trying to pretend that did not happen me something terrible. But Jeanine is too intelligent.

She just looked at me in silence while I decided what to do.

I recomposed as I could.

-Today David called me into his office. -I said in a calm voice. -He tried to test me. He began to talk about the shortcomings of the impure, but then... showed me that audio ... I... I did hear a torture.

Jeanine's face remained hard and unchanged, except for her eyes, all she was unable to keep expressionless. They turned dark as the ashes of a fire.

-I understand. - She finally said. Then she looked a bit lost, as if she unsure what to say. -I know it's hard, dear. Something dies inside of you when that happens. But why you? Perhaps he suspected.

-When what happens? - I interrupted.

Jeanine didn't see me.

\- When your presence torture or when you were tortured?

She finally looked me in the eyes, with a mixture of confusion, worry, and deep down, perhaps premonition.

\- Both of them. - she whispered.

At that time I didn't want say it. I could say nothing and ignore the ghost, but I could not and would not ignore a stone well.

-Listen - I took her hand. -In the audio they not tortured a stranger. It was a little girl. And she was you.

Jeanine didn't react immediately. We had five seconds of intense, long, until confused look. I didn't know whether to apologize or comfort her or be angry or anything. It was an eternity of silence in five seconds.

-Oh ... - she broke eye contact. - I see.

And then her hand began to tremble.

The tremor ran up her arm. I looked fascinated the phenomenon before look her eyes, searching for an explanation. But Jeanine looked at her arm with an emotion, finally, in her face: terror.

-Damn. - she mumbled.

With the other hand made a desperate effort to keep her arm still, but it don't worked. After the initial moment of fear I reacted.

-What is this? What happens to you?

-My personal version of crying. -hse said with her voice a little broken. -I can not mourn, so my body reacts other way to extreme sadness. It will stop, just give me a moment.

She said without looking at me, embarrassed. Stupid woman.

Following an idea, rather it was a reaction, brought her to me and hugged her with all my strength.

Not knowing where I got the words, I began to murmur soothing words in her ear, not knowing if those words were lies or not. Before thinking more she stopped shaking as quickly as it had begun.

I didn't let her go immediately, unsure that it had not finished. But it was the same Jeanine who broke the embrace, quietly and without looking at me, sad, but not a tear in her eyes.

\- Nevertheless, I do not hate him. I can not hate him.

I didn't need to ask who she meant. It was obvious that she spoke of her father.

\- I don't understand. I don't understand how you don't hate him. Just listen the audio that made me hate him. And yet you, that felt all that ...

She set her damp and gray eyes on me.

\- He did what he believed was right - she answered quietly. - A sacrifice for the greater good, just like me. I also did horrible things, even worse than the things he did. Yet, you hate me?

I could not find an answer, and I don't really care about that. I looked her and her broken figure, the horror and the complexity of the situation.

For years, some people had decided to change human nature. When the modifications did not give the expected result, they decided to discard these same human beings and treat them as if they were nothing, taking other people to do horrible things with the goal of repair and repel this injustice.

Humans as Jeanine.

No. I had to stop as soon as possible.

But now I had a more important task to do. I needed to fix it. Needed to make her heart stop bleeding.

Using her left shoulder as support, I leaned over to kiss her. I pressed my mouth to her's with strength and determination, wanting to shed in that kiss, all the love I felt, wanting it to be enough. Her hands found their way to my waist, molding itself perfectly into my curves. When she touched me, I noticed that her hands trembled in a different way, a way I had learned to recognize. It was not anger, nor sorrow, nor discomfort. It was desire. Slowly, my lips down to her neck, lingering on every centimeter of exposed skin. I wanted her to forget all the pain she felt, all the hurt and all the blame. I wanted her to feel pleasure. Much pleasure as I was able to give her.

\- You know ... - I whispered in her ear. - I don't believe a word of what David told me. You're not damaged, and I'm not 100% pure. You and I are so pure and impure as anyone else. All human beings are good and bad things, and all they can be good and bad. I would not love you if I don't believe it. And yet I'm here, and I love you. Very much.

I turned to see her eyes, and they were clouded. She seemed lost and feverish, and looked at me hungry.

\- I love you. - She replied, and then captured my lips in a deep kiss.

That place was very familiar, like that scene. Both of us under that glass ceiling, our bodies together, our thirsty lips, our breathing and our moans. The smell of the sheets.

I pushed her back on the bed, and my hands gripped her hips. Her hands were immediately to the bottom of my shirt, and I raised my arms, so it slipped out of my body. She touched the place of my tattoos, and the feel of her fingers caused me a thrill, and an unbearable heat in my belly.

Fortunately, the clothes she wore were now easier to deal with than Erudite's clothes she used to wear. A happy change, because my patience at that point, was in a very low level.

Jeanine also was quick to get rid of the rest of my clothes.

I did not mind that it was only a simulation. At that point I just wanted to touch her as if there was nothing else. As if the world besides the two of us didn't exist.


	25. Trusting

**TRIS**

About an hour later Jeanine still have a blush on her cheeks. It looks great when she blushes, gives color to her face. She made some strawberries and a bowl of sugar, something I had never tried to appear.

\- You know it's not real food. - I said as I approached her again.

-Yes. - I take one. - But anyway tastes like real food.

She put the strawberry on my mouth and then she bit it. Our teeth touched slightly. I smiled and drank the strawberry juice.

-I need to tell you about something before disconnect.

\- You're leaving now? - Jeanine asked, raising her eyebrows. - It's a shame. I wanted to use this strawberries. - She looked red fruits almost sadly and made them disappear.

-Maybe later. -I shook my head. -I think there's one person who might know where the is weapon's laboratory. Her name is Nita Garza, could you see if there is information about her?

Jeanine looked at me somewhat dubious. Naturally, I was not sure if it was safe to Nita knew of our plans. It is certainly is not. But Tobias must see something in her that I don't, so I decided to trust him. But I have to be sure.

\- I will investigate immediately.

Jeanine got up from the bed and started to get her clothes.

Before disconnecting, she grabbed my face and kissed me sweetly. Her sweetness sometimes took me by surprise, I never thought she could be so naturally affectionate with me. Although those are things of a couple, right?

-Be careful, my sun.

-I will do it. See you tomorrow.

Then she disappeared.

I stayed a little longer in the simulation. It was a difficult temptation to reject this world created by my brother and Cara. The amount of possibilities was infinite.

However, I just looked the fake moon through the glass ceiling.

* * *

We meet Nita in the hotel lobby after midnight.

From a distance, I see that she's arms folded, leaning against a huge potted plant. Her caramel-colored skin gets a beautiful tone, bathed in the faint glow of the lights of the complex, and her eyes have the darker color I've ever seen. She seems lost and distracted, as if her mind was a million kilometers away.

The sound of our steps woke her, and she turns quickly toward us.

Tobias and I stopped at a distance of two meters. Her piercing eyes studied me minutely, like she was trying to decide whether I was or was not reliable. Maybe she didn't know what I was doing exactly the same.

\- Tobias. - She greets and gives you a short, tentative smile.

\- Nita. - Tobias smiled back, and his smile is wider than hers.

Nita fixed her eyes on me, and her face is closed in a similar expression of disgust. But she doesn't look away, as I do.

-You're Tris. - It was not a question. Of course she knew who I was. Each person in the Bureau knew absolutely everything about me from my birth.

\- Yeah. - I reply coldly - And you are Nita.

She just nods and looks back at Tobias.

\- Well, I still do not understand why she should come. But ... - she shrugs. -Whatever. Come with me, before the guards of the complex to see us and distrust.

We followed Nita by complex of laboratories where Tobias told me that she worked. She walked in front of us with a small flashlight, leading the way. Our footsteps echoed in the deep silence, but no one said anything along the way.

Nita stopped in front of a door giving access to laboratories and spent her card. The door opened, revealing a small, dusty room. There are shelves with boxes for the entire length of the walls, and boxes are labeled with letters and numbers. In the center of the room there is a table, and on it, a computer.

As soon as we entered, Nita closed the door and turned off the flashlight. She crossed her arm again and looked at Tobias.

\- All right, we are safe. What do you want me to do now?

Tobias intertwined hands nervously.

\- I want you to tell Tris exactly what you told me.

She looks at me again with disgust, and I close my eyes.

\- I still don't understand why - she mumbled. -She is genetically pure. I don't see the empathy she could have with this subject.

Tobias sighed.

\- Nita, please. This is important. Do you trust me, right? Then you should trust her too.

Nita was silent for a few seconds, her eyes hovering between me and Tobias. Finally, she uncrossed her arms and points to a sofa in the corner. She walked up to it and sit, and I believed that I must do the same. I sit next to her and wait.

\- Okay, Tris Prior. My name is Juanita. I'm part of the Bureau's support group, and I have spoken to Tobias lately. In fact, I took him to see how is the life of non-pure people outside the center.

\- Yeah - I said. - He told me.

\- There are some things you should know about this place, and one of them is that it hides secrets. One of those secrets is that, for them, an impure is dispensable. Another is that some of us will not just sit back and accept it.

I am fully aware of what she is talking, about an unclean be someone expendable for the Bureau, but I can not let her know. Not yet.

\- What do you mean by "dispensable"?

\- The crimes they have committed against people like us are serious - Nita said. -And are hidden. I can show you evidence, but will have to be later. For now, I can say is that we are working against the Bureau, for good reason.

\- Right. - I say - And you want our help?

\- Actually, my intention was to have Tobias's help only. But for some reason, he decided that you should be involved, and here we are.

\- Listen, Nita. If you don't trust me because I am genetically pure, you must know that I don't believe in "genetic defect" and all that crap. There is nothing to worry about it. Now could you explain what exactly you want?

She looked at me defensively. She seemed to be experiencing a painful internal struggle. Then she sighed and stared at me.

\- It's all right. I will trust you, Pure. But before we proceed with further details on the plan, I need to show you some things -she looked at Tobias. -To both of you.

Nita walked up to the computer and opened some files.

Images begin to emerge without interruption, and she go so fast I can hardly keep up. They are gray and distorted, giving the impression of being very old. The images show horrors: mutilated bodies, blood, houses on fire, skinny and sick people, suffering.

\- Look at those guns - she points out a photograph. - They are much more antiquated weapons than those that were used in the War. This means that this conflicts are very old. Conflicts fought by people genetically pure, since genetic manipulation didn't exist at that time.

\- I understand - said Tobias. -They are lying about our history, hiding important facts to control us.

\- Exactly. - Nita replies. - You see, if the genetically pure people were causing war and total devastation in the past with the same magnitude as supposed to do now the people genetically non-pure, why spend so much time and energy fighting something that is not really a problem?

No one answered verbally, but Tobias and I looked at each other and nodded. Nita understood that we agreed with it.

\- There is a problem with the blind commitment to these experiments - Nita continues - The Bureau values the experiments above life of no-pures. It's obvious. And now, things could get even worse.

\- Worse? - Tobias says - What exactly do you mean?

\- The government has threatened to terminate the experiments for almost a year - Nita says. - Experiments are still falling apart because communities can't live in peace, and David finds ways to restore peace only at the last minute. What if something goes wrong in Chicago?, he can do it again. He can reset all the experiments at any time.

\- Reset. - I repeat.

\- With Memory Serum. This means that every man, woman and child will have to start over. Their entire lives off against their will, for the sake of solving a "problem" of genetic damage that does not actually exist. This people have the power to do this. And no one should have that power.

\- No. - I say with determination - Nobody.

\- I want to steal the Memory Serum and destroy it. I want to remove this power out of their hands, although this is the only thing I can do. - she sighs - for now.

Her eyes light up dangerously, and for a moment I feel her fear and violent energy that she seemed to try to contain, but which at any moment could explode.

I see the hatred in the eyes of Nita and I realize that it is quite familiar. I see that same hatred in the eyes of Jeanine when she talks about the Bureau, and I feel that same hate in me. Looking at the Nita's face is like looking into a mirror.

I imagine the people of my city being "restarted" as if their lives were nothing more than a computer program, which can be erased and changed when they found convenient, and a murderous rage consumes me.

Suddenly I know I can trust Nita. I desperately want to trust her.

\- Okay, Tobias. - I look towards her. - That's enough. You were right, and now I know we can trust her.

\- What? - Nita's brow furrows in confusion.

\- I told you, Tris. We could have saved all this.

\- Wait ... - understanding is through Nita's face, and it became a grimace of disgust - This was a test? You were testing me?

\- Nita ... - the voice of Tobias was pleading.

\- You! - She yells at Tobias, outraged - I trusted you! I told my secrets to you thinking you could ...

She shakes her head. Her face is red and his hands trembling with fury.

\- Nita! - I hold her arms - Nita, please hear me. There is an explanation for this, and I need you to hear us.

Her eyes oscillate wildly between me and Tobias. She looks like a cornered animal. Damn it. What did I do?

\- Nita. - Tobias sits on the couch next to her and looks deep into her eyes, almost fondly - We are not spies of David, and we're not trying to catch you in a trap, if that's what you're thinking. We are part of something big, Nita. We're in this place on a dangerous mission. Our goals are exactly the same as yours.

\- Mission? - She repeated, more lost than ever - Goals? All right, now could you please tell me who you are for real?

It was complicated to explain everything to her, especially the part where Jeanine was alive and was part of the plan. But in the end, Nita was calm deep. Calm and determined.

\- We thought it spread the Memory Serum is more effective than simply steal it. Reset the center, and reprogram them. So they will never risked people's memories in the experiments again. The danger will be gone forever.

-And who had that bright idea? - Nita responded sarcastically. -Mrs. Matthews? With your apology, Tris, but what happened in Chicago and she already leaves a bad standing to everyone else no-pure. Because of what she did, The Bureau increased the surveillance.

Tobias stepped forward to speak, before I open my mouth.

-Actually, it was Angela Roth.

Nita's face changed immediately. I saw in her eyes admiration mixed with fear. Too strange mix.

-Roth? - Nita didn't talk for long. She stood and made a decision. -Then I'm in.

She smiled a little nervous. Tobias looked like a kid at Christmas. A tall boy and a little stressed at Christmas. And I felt a shiver down my back, but I can not say if a good or bad feeling.

* * *

 **JEANINE**

Juanita Garza. Born in the experiment of Indianapolis. Father divergent and non-divergent mother. Bureau's assistant.

I leaned back slightly in my chair. I found no strange information in Nita Garza. But that does not mean I trust her either.

I closed the file. I can only hope that Beatrice make the best decision, as always.

Footsteps sounded behind me. Andrew entered the room and began to see some papers on a nearby table.

My nerves bristled immediately. I know I can not avoid him forever, but I really would not have to be so close to him. It feels uncomfortable, and even a little painful.

-Good morning -I muttered.

Andrew looked at me and nodded. Then he headed for the door. And he stopped before leaving.

\- I don't know what you want or what you're thinking. - He said softly, without turning. - But there is nothing more precious than my children for me. I hope you know that.

His voice sounded mechanical, too cold for him. Would it be a sequel to war or just he still hate me?

\- I know that perfectly - I cold answer too. - I know you think that I have corrupted them. But I love Beatrice, even if you don't believe me.

\- You have very strange ways of showing how much you love her - He said, now irritated. -Like kidnap her and study her like she were an object.

I feel my blood burning. I squeezed my fists until my nails hurt the palm of my hands. He has no right to throw it in my face. He not.

\- Shut up! - I said, trying to control the tremors that spread through my body. - You have no right to judge me. You never knew the truth, you never understood my reasons.

\- Now I know the truth. - He says, talking louder than I. -And yet I have never would done anything of what you did. No truth justifies the killing of hundreds of people. But I believe that you think different, right?

I stay silent. I have no answer to give him. Because everything he says is nothing more than the truth.

\- Don't have to give any satisfaction to you. - I say finally - Beatrice has forgiven me for it. I myself have forgiven me for it. Many people have forgiven me. Your opinion does not matter to me one bit.

-I know you don't care about anything, Janine. - He answered calmly. - But I do.

And immediately, he just left.

Why all the Prior are so unbearable?


	26. Planning

**TRIS**

This world is crazy.

It's so akin and yet so different from my city. There are brave people, friendly people, smart people. Everything at the same time. It's a world of divergents.

\- Isn't it strange? - I ask Tobias.

Both of us are having lunch in the cafeteria. He observes his sandwich as if it was one of the secrets of the universe. Lately he's very distracted, and also looks tired.

A lock of black hair is falling over his forehead. To get his attention, I arrange the hair.

\- Hum. Sorry, what did you say?

\- That is weird. How these people are so similar and different from us. In a way, they cause me curiosity and repulsion at the same time.

\- What isn't strange lately? - he asked biting his sandwich. - I've lost the ability to surprise me long ago.

He looked so stoic that worried me a little. I was not paying attention to my friends lately. That made me feel guilty. Perhaps I should have said something else.

\- Well, it's not so bad ...

\- I'm not divergent. We are a fucking experiment of people dead to decades ago. The divergent control the world ...

\- Tob ...

\- Oh, and the list goes on. - he looked at his sandwich - The Factions are destroyed. A rare woman tried to kill us. Another rare woman sent us here. Now, a rare man is watching us. Oh, I almost forgot, the first rare woman changed her mind and now helps us. Ah, yes, she stole my girlfriend.

\- Shhh!

He was not speaking loudly, but anyway, he could not say that out loud and he knew it.

Tobias did not even blink.

\- I think I'll go for a walk. - he stopped and took his plate - And don't get me wrong. Actually, I overcame what happened between us. But anyway, I care about you. OK?

\- I know. - I nodded, still a little worried - I also.

He smiled a little and left.

I hope the stress doesn't end up hurting his brain. Although what he said made sense. Maybe it was good that he no longer be surprised about the things.

And Jeanine had not stolen me.

Right?

No, she had not stolen me. I was already hers.

Damn, I hate her for made me so slushy.

Uriah and Lynn entered the room. There was no food, but we shared a lemon cake. It was not so good as chocolate, but at least I felt some sweetness. I was needing a lot of that lately.

\- There is a girl named Zoe. - Uriah began. - She is even more annoying than the Erudites, but ...

I did not even bother to say one word. I think my look was enough.

\- Sorry, emm, yes, the girl is annoying. But she offered to give us a tour by airplane.

Airplane. Another great invention from here out. They're like cars, but fly. I am surprised that Uriah are not planning to travel in one of its wings.

\- Sounds good. - Lynn said with her mouth full. - While she has no plans to throw us off the airplane, I'm in.

\- You want to come, Tris? - asked Uriah.

\- Or you'll be very busy talking with your pants again? - Lynn asked mischievously.

I sighed.

Since we learned that there is a kind of pants called "Jeans" Lynn don't stops call Jeanine this way. At least she uses a code.

\- I will go. I would like to have a look at those machines.

Maybe, if I learn to drive one, it could serve to escape in an emergency.

\- If you are afraid, you can take my hand.

I messed Lynn's face with cake. She grunted and swatted me.

Well, I can't complaining. Lynn, at least, don't hate me. I am very grateful for that.

* * *

I was walking to my bedroom when I heard a voice calling me.

\- Tris, wait!

Caleb walked toward me. He had a tablet in hands, and a small smile.

He pulled me into my bedroom and slammed the door shut.

\- Caleb, what's up?

\- You need see this. - he gave me the tablet. - When you told me that our mother came from Bureau, I asked some people about it. This tablet was hers.

I looked at my brother in amazement, and suddenly I held the tablet more firmly. As something precious.

\- It has some photos. And a diary.

\- Have you read it?

\- Yes. It's not very long. She was a little lower than us when she wrote it.

I imagine my mother as a teenager, a teenage of the Bureau.

The idea is so strange that my mother don't seems my mother. She is a person I've never met, a person who was always there, but hidden. I sat on my bed and quickly turned on the device.

\- I'll let you read it. I'll be in the lab if you need me, Tris.

\- It's okay.

Caleb was gone when I opened the diary. My hands were shaking a little.

I stayed in that position for two hours, reading obsessively my mother's diary.

Former member of the Bureau, Natalie Wright came here at age 14, after her mother killed her father. The young leader of the Bureau, David Jacobs, trained her about the faction system and sent her to Chicago. From there, she sent reports of her findings, among other things, the amount of divergent in the city.

I reread a line.

 _"There are more divergent than you think. But we are still not enough."_

But it was not all that Natalie Wright did. She also had to keep an eye on whom threatened the divergent. On Matthews family, among others.

 _"Today I approached Andrew Prior,"_ said a report. _"He is close to Joshua Matthews's daughter. He is an innocent and unsuspecting boy, it was not difficult. This gives me more opportunity to watch the girl. I think she suspects me, but I have taken good care not to leave evidence . Until now, no problem."_

And after that, she didn't write for one month. The following report was only a sentence.

 _"Jeanine Matthews discovered about me."_

And after that, she only wrote once again much later.

 _"Jeanine hasn't told anyone. Maybe she plans to use that information against me. But it doesn't matter, because through this notice, I officially renounce the Bureau. I'm so sorry, David. Andrew and I will choose Abnegation together. That's what I've decided. I hope you can understand and respect._

 _Natalie."_

Then, I saw the photos. It was of a girl with dark hair, young and beautiful, with a man of the same hair color. My grandfather.

I held the tablet, while smiling. I don't know how long I was this way, but seemed like hours.

I put the tablet and dressed to go on the airplane.

* * *

At night, our dream simulation has a increase. Nita.

She looks around, startled.

\- Where are we?

\- Don't worry. - Tobias touches her shoulder - It's safe. If it fails, you just will wake up in your bed, and will not be lost in the void forever, as I know you're thinking.

\- So it was true ... - she says, haunted - That's ... awesome.

\- My brother made it. - I answer - He and one of our friends. Now, come on know them.

That night Tobias was the first to connect, and now we stood at the Bureau itself.

I recognized that room from a fairly recent memory. That was the room where Tobias and I had done the genetic testing that made him find that he wasn't divergent.

\- Great. - Uriah grumbles - We are in a simulation and you bring us to a place inside the very place where we are. Very creative.

I look around and see the containers that Nita handled that day. They remained intact on the table.

\- Huum ... - Tobias was flushed and embarrassed - I was thinking about this place when I put my glasses. It's normal that it is in my thoughts, right? I spent my life believing that I was divergent, and suddenly I am no longer ... It was a very difficult and confusing moment.

Nita looked at him, frowning, and he looked away, becoming redder.

\- No matter where we are. - exclaimed Tori - What matters is that we are safe from being heard or discovered.

\- Okay. Let's get to the main point.

I waved my hands and did arise a few chairs where we sat.

\- This is Nita. - I say looking at my friends - You know, we've talked about her before. What we will do now is just to discuss in detail our plan. Every detail. Because if it fails ... well, let's just say we are in trouble.

Beside me, Nita shudders. Tori just looks resigned, and Peter, indifferent. Lynn seems nothing more than bored and Cara seems to be thinking about a million things when our eyes meet.

\- I think Nita should to talk. - Will says - After all, she is the heart of the whole plan.

She seems uncomfortable with all the attention, but keeps her eyes fixed and unshaken. She exchanges a look with Tobias, and finally begins to face the group.

\- The first important thing about this is that I know where is the weapons lab. - Nita stops and looks at each one individually - It isn't a very hidden place, and I believe you have been very close.

\- And where is it? - Caleb asks, his eyes shining - We searched for it for days and don't have even a clue.

\- Well ... You know where is David's office, right?

\- Yeah. - I answer - I have been there.

The memory of that encounter brings back to my mind the screams of Jeanine. The voice of her father, the hum of the instrument of torture - something I didn't know what it was, nor had the least desire to know.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, forcing the memories go away.

\- Great. - Nita says - There is a corridor in front of the office. Following through this corridor, you'll find some more corridors. You enter the first left, then the second right and ... Well, I'm sure I can show in person at another time.

\- Okay. - Cara responds, looking forward - Proceed.

\- The second thing you should know is that the room is not guarded by soldiers but by cameras. The control room personnel have real-time images of that place all the time.

\- Great. - Lynn grumbles - We need to break down the door of a place where they will be watching us do this. Nothing better than some complications to make everything more exciting.

Despite the attempt to make a joke, I can see the concern in her eyes.

\- No! - Nita becomes pale - No way we can do that. That place has a security system that ... Summary: If we try to enter using explosives or anything that violates the door by force, we will not get out alive of there.

\- What are you talking about? - Cara looks somewhat impatiently.

\- Death Serum. - Nita's words cause me a shiver down the spine - If the door is opened by force, the death serum will be released in the air, and not even divergents are able to resist it. So, we will use the access code, which is well hidden under my mattress.

\- Wait! - Caleb almost screams - You mean the password of the weapons lab? This should be a super confidential information, right? How did you discover it?

\- Let's say we're not the only ones who hate this place. There is a boy, Matthew. He is a Pure, but is sympathetic to our cause, so to speak. He is important here, and has helped me a long time. I believe he was in a fine line between life and death to seep in David's office, but somehow, he found. And the information is in my hands.

\- That's good. - Says Christina almost with relief - Very, very good.

\- So ... - Peter begins - We just need to find the place, enter this password and release the serum?

\- No. - I look him almost bitterly - Of course it's not that simple. With surveillance cameras, they will send guards behind us, and we can't stop them.

\- In this case, - Tobias looks at me - we'll need to get rid of these cameras.

\- I do not think it is wise. - says Cara - Think about it: if the cameras are turned off, they will realize at the same moment that it comes to an attack. And if the weapons lab is the more important place here, it would take them directly to the target. And anyone who is on the way will be arrested.

\- She's right. - Caleb looks to her, somewhat surprised - It's a pretty clever thinking.

\- I suggest something better. - Cara says, and I almost can see the wheels turning inside her brain - I suggest a blackout. Instead of turn off the cameras, we'll turn off the lights. At first, they may think that it's an accident, or an electrical fault. In complete darkness, the cameras will go blind, and anyone who is going to weapons lab will can reach without attracting attention.

\- Is a good idea. - Nita looks as if Cara were the smartest person she had ever seen - A great idea.

\- Will you help me with this? - Cara asks, turning to my brother.

Caleb smiles and turns red.

\- But of course.

\- As for the others, - Cara continues - you can grab the limelight otherwise. You can start a fight, for example. And who isn't fighting can cry for help or something. A confusion like this in complete darkness will let them lost. When they realize the truth, it will be too late. Or so we hope.

\- Right. - I say - It seems a very simple plan with lots of chances to be successful.

\- Yeah. - Nita responds thoughtfully - Still, we have to be very careful. And when I say "very", it is really "very".

\- We will be. - Cara says looking at Caleb - That we guarantee.

\- Okay. I suggest two people to go to weapons lab. And I'm one of them, of course. Now I need to know which of you goes with me.

\- I will. - I answer in a rush - It's settled.

Caleb looks at me, his eyes widening up.

\- Beatrice ...

\- This is my mission. - I say looking him in the eye - It's something personal. I just have to do it.

He remains staring at me for a while, as if to beg me not to go, but when my eyes remain steady, he nods and looks away.

\- We'll put the plan in place within two nights. Until then, I will get with Matthew the serum that will immunize us all against the memory serum. And I think you need to have some marksmanship classes. You know, with guns. In a situation like the one we will face, this is critical.

\- She's right. - says Tobias - You never know what we'll need to do.

\- Most of us are Dauntless - Uriah responds - It will be easy. We can teach those who aren't, as Caleb and Cara.

\- Perfect. Find Tobias and I tomorrow in front of the hotel. We have a perfect place to practice safely.

The meeting is over and I notice a strange look on Tobias's face. Whatever he's thinking, I know he don't like Matthew.


	27. Privacy

Again, all went to sleep one by one. Soon, we were only Tobias, Nita, and me.

Nita had a happy grin, making arise in her hands many things. Ice cream, lamps, toys, tools. Tobias had done arise a chair and silently watched, amused.

\- I think you should go to sleep, Nita. Don't you have things to do tomorrow?

\- I'm sure it can wait. - she answered before making appear a white rabbit. The rabbit moved the ears. - By God, this is incredibly real!

Tobias's smile threatened to split his face in two.

\- You are right. I should go to sleep. - Nita left the rabbit on the floor. - Good night, Tris and Tobias.

Nita took off her glasses and disappeared. I did appear a gray carpet and sat on the floor.

\- I think I'll go to sleep too. - Tobias said.

\- Have a good night.

\- Do not stay up very late. Your dark circles are always suspect, Tris.

\- I'll remember. - I said with a smirk.

Tobias is gone.

I was alone. Nita's rabbit was still there, and came leaping towards me. I looked fascinated for a moment. I had never seen a rabbit so closely, although it was not real.

The rabbit climbed into my lap and I scratched one of his ears.

About ten minutes later, I decided to change that. I stayed a long time thinking about what I wanted to see. And suddenly, I had an idea.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to find every detail in my memory. When I opened them, I was in Tyrolean. In the tallest building in Chicago, watching the world from afar.

That world was just a mystery until a few weeks ago. I wished that it was this way again.

Some mysteries are better hidden.

But if I could, I would not change what I know now. Now, I live in the real world. Where there is pure and impure, evil people, fighters and victims. This is the life that I have. And I know I can handle it.

Jeanine appeared a few minutes later, in complete silence.

For a moment, she was very confused. And she did not see me. She saw the horizon in front of her, watching the Tyrolean. I approached stealthily behind her and covered her eyes.

She was dressed in a blue pencil skirt and a blouse. I'm glad. She looks good in jeans, but nothing replaces her skirts and her bare legs.

\- Guess who I am?

\- You better be Beatrice. But whoever you are, you have no idea who you got.

\- I'm scared to death. - I removed my hands from her eyes - Hey there.

\- Hello Beatrice.

\- Tris.

\- Beatrice.

\- Tris.

\- Beatrice.

\- I like just "Tris".

\- And I like your full name.

\- Do I have to use your full name too? Hello, Jeanine Kate.

\- I'll try to call you just "Tris".

I give a smile and take a lock of her hair in my hands.

\- It is a very pretty sight. - she says, but her voice sounds far - I had never seen the city from this angle.

I shrug.

\- Being Dauntless has its advantages.

She smiles, but her smile vanishes a second later.

It's strange to see her smiling when I think of the Jeanine that I met. Jeanine who wanted to corner me until I confessed my divergence on the day that I sought my brother in Erudite headquarters.

But stranger than it is to see the Jeanine that I love break a smile like that.

\- Jeanine? What is wrong?

She shakes her head.

\- There is nothing wrong. Why did you ask that?

\- We can be together for a short time, but it's like I knew you all my life. I know when there is something wrong with you.

Jeanine sighs and looks away from me.

\- No matter how everything seems well. No matter how much I try to convince myself that I overcame all that I did. My crimes always come back to haunt me and show me what I truly am.

\- Oh, no, Jean. You should not be thinking these things. We've talked about it.

\- I know. But that doesn't change anything really.

I wonder how those thoughts returned to inhabit her mind.

It is very unlikely that it happened on its own. Someone must have thrown it in her face.

And there was only one person I could think of.

\- My father, right? He said you bad things.

Jeanine looks at me in surprise.

\- How do you know that?

I walk until be in front of her and put both hands on her shoulders.

\- I know Andrew Prior very well. Moreover, the only people who contact you now are my parents and Angela. My mother would not, which leaves us only one option.

\- He'll never forgive me. - Jeanine says - And I can't blame him for that.

I wrap her face in my hands, and our eyes meet. What I see is again the blame clouding the silver-gray color that I love.

\- Don't think about it now, right? Perhaps one day - in more peaceful times - he can forgive you. Let's hope.

She holds my waist with both hands and leans her forehead to mine.

\- You're right. - she murmurs - It is illogical worry for something that doesn't depend on you.

\- I need to tell you something. - I say changing the subject - It's very close to end. Everything.

\- What are you talking about?

\- Nita.

Understanding crosses her face. She becomes suddenly serious.

\- So, you decided to trust her?

\- Yes, and it's more than that. We will restart the Bureau within two days.

Jeanine looks at me in silence for a moment. Her brain absorbes every one of my expressions. I don't know what she sees in my face.

\- What is your plan?

I explain her, step by step, and also the alternatives if something is out of control. She listens in silence to the end.

Last of all, she nodds at me, seriously.

\- We will take the Bureau at this time, then. - she answers - We will be there.

\- All?

\- Yes all. But who knows? Maybe I can lock your father so that he is safe.

\- I confess it is not a bad idea ... but only so he is safe.

\- Tris ... - I look at her immediately. - We can not assure that everything will work out. There are many things that could go wrong. If that happens, I want you to promise me one thing: you will live.

Her grip on my body tenses a little, squeezing and pulling me a little more.

My chest shakes a little, but I don't hesitate when I take her face and say.

\- I am 100% pure in a world of pures. If anyone is safe in this situation, it's me.

Although I'm not so sure.

 **...**

I did arise a small table and two plates. Jeanine sat across from me.

\- What do you want? - I asked smiling.

Jeanine slightly pursed her mouth, thinking.

She looked at her plate as if it were something very interesting.

\- I want a melon.

The fruit appeared on her plate, cut with a fork. She is getting better at this.

\- Again melon?

\- Again melon.

I ordered a plate of carrots for the rabbit, that was still on the floor. For me, I ordered a burger.

Jeanine curiously watched my food.

\- What?

\- Nothing, I just had never seen one up close.

\- You never eaten one?

\- It are not popular in Erudite. It contains calories that are more efficient in Dauntless.

\- Well, now you're going to taste a simulation-hamburger, which is no calories and lots of flavor.

I took the melon and did appear a cheeseburger. Jeanine watched with doubt, apprehension, and even a little fear. She looked at me and at the cheeseburger a few times, hesitating.

In the end, she looked at the cheeseburger firmly. She took it with her finger and thumb, giving it a little bite. Her face was expressionless, carved in stone, but her cheeks were like two strawberrys.

I watched fascinated. These things are only once in life.

\- It is not bad. - she said after swallowing.

I could not help but smile. She had some cheese on her lower lip.

\- What?

\- You have cheese in your lip.

Before she could take it off, I leaned forward and wiped her lips with a kiss.

\- Much better now.

\- Yes. - she says smiling corner - definitely better.

She drags her thumb over my lower lip, and the feel of her fingers sparks an unexpected fire inside me.

I throw my arms around her neck and kiss her strongly, leaving me intoxicated with her taste, her smell, her touch. Everything about her was addictive, and I felt numb with any contact.

\- You are insatiable ... - she says running her hands through her hair. Her face is red and her breathing, ragged. - It is very interesting for someone who came from Abnegation. Taking into account the customs of your former faction, you should be ashamed with any contact.

\- Maybe it has something to do with my abnormal brain? - Her smile grows, and she pretends to think for a moment.

\- Maybe. I've never been with a divergent before, and look at me now. I'm with the purest divergent between the divergents. I can analyze it later.

She leans and catchs my lips possessively.

\- Whatever the result ... - my mouth down to her neck - I want you to show me.

\- Surely…

I remain numb for a while; lost in the sensations she caused me. Touch her was like going to a totally different world, a world where only the pleasure mattered. I realized there was someone else there because I'm torn from the trance with no apparent explanation. I release the lips of Jeanine, and she looks at me confused.

As most of the time, I'm right.

Looking over her shoulder, I see a girl with dark hair standing. Her face is red and intense, she seems to be about to run away.

\- Nita?

Quickly, Jeanine turns in the direction I'm looking and both of us we now see her, as embarrassed as she was.

I make a mental note to ask Caleb to include the 'privacy' factor in the next release he to do of this bauble.

\- Oh my God. - Nita wrings her hands, not knowing what to do with them, or where to look - I don't know ... I didn't mean ... I'm sorry I...

\- Okay, Juanita. - Jeanine says, and I realize that her rejection of nicknames isn't something related only to me. -There is no reason to be ashamed. I'm Jeanine Matthews.

\- Hello ... Mrs Matthews. - She smiles nervously - I hope you don't get angry if I say that, but I already know you.

\- Yes. - Jeanine's expression closes and she do an involuntary grimace - I know that. Everyone there knows me.

\- What are you doing awake at this hour, Nita? - I ask - You want to tell me something?

-N-No, not really. I thought no one was there and I could explore a little...

Jeanine tightened her hold around my waist. We had to be a curious sight. Jeanine with disheveled hair and two buttons of her blouse open, holding me on her lap. I wanted to get out, but Jeanine held me stronger. Even in this state I felt bad for the poor Nita.

-I think I better go - she stammered. -Please forget I was here. Keep doing... that. Seriously, forget I was here! You two looked like wanted to continue and I'm so sorry!

-Juanita, please go away. - Jeanine said softly.

Nita nodded, trembling. Then she took off her glasses and disappeared.

I sighed, more tired than frustrated. Could it be that our destiny is always being interrupted?

-Besides uncomfortable, that was inappropriate - mumbled my girlfriend.

-Well ... at least she's gone.

-Yes...

We looked for a moment. We kissed.

...

Once satisfied, I hugged Jeanine and rested my head on her shoulder. I like to sleep doing spoon with her because I can kiss her neck without her to move, trapped in my arms.

I kissed the mole at the corner of her lip, as she stroked my hair. In this position I could also see the scars behind her cheek. They were healing well.

I kissed each pink line.

-Do not feel guilty. - Jeanine whispered.

-I don't do it. - I replied. -But still, it's a little frustrating to ruin the perfection of your face.

Jeanine gave me a wry smile.

-The things you say.

-So? You don't like being told beautiful?

-I am beautiful. - Jeanine said smiling. -But the word "perfect" is somewhat exaggerated, is not it?

\- No - I respond firmly. - Isn't it.

\- You've always been very biased towards things you love.

I shrugged.

-I only express things the way I see them.

\- I can say that you have an interesting way of looking at things.

\- It's part of my charm.

Jeanine laughed, as if she was enjoying an inside joke.

\- Look at us. I understand why ordinary people are frightened to see us together.

\- We aren't ordinary - I replied. - I think you know that better than anyone.

\- Yes. - Her lips curves into a small smile - We are the illogical pair in the world. And it's also the best thing ... - she caresses my face, thoughtful - I need to go now, Beatrice. And I think you need too. Tomorrow will be a day full of preparations. I need to tell Angela and your parents about the plan you told me. We have much to do.

\- Yes, I agree with you. Just promise me one thing: be careful. I don't want this... - I touch out to where Tori had shot her. There is a large red scar, but it looks much better than before. - ...to happen again.

\- I promise. - She shakes my hand. - I'll be careful for you. Now go to sleep, my love.

\- Okay.

I have a last glimpse of her hands removing her glasses, and then I take mine.

Darkness comes immediately, smooth and comforting, and finally I let my dreams involved me, with Jeanine's eyes behind my eyelids.


	28. Titanic

The first thing I think when I enter the underground training room which Nita had led us is "Wow."

The place is cold, dark and very well equipped. There are training guns, helmets, targets, everything you could need.

For the first time I have the finding that Nita is not a lone warrior. There are more people with her, more people determined to rebel against the center. I wonder why she does not introduced us to them, or even talked about more GDs rebels.

\- This does not fire real bullets. - Tobias puts a gun in Cara's hand. She looks startled for a second, but nods determinately. - But it was projected as close as possible to the gun that perhaps we need to use.

Caleb is right alongside Cara, also holding a gun. He holds it with his fingertips, as if he were afraid of breaking it.

I laugh and give a pat on his shoulder.

\- Do not worry, Caleb. This is somewhat resistant to be damaged by human strength.

He grimaces and smiles back.

\- Not everyone sleeps with a gun under the pilow and handles it as if it were a pen.

\- First lesson. - says Tobias turning to Caleb and Cara - Do not be afraid of the gun. Hold it firmly. Caleb ever shoot before, right?

\- Only once. - his forehead is furrowed, as if he was trying to solve a problem - When we escape from Amity headquarters. But that was luck and not skill.

\- Good. - Tobias shrugs - Better luck than bad luck. Now we trained skill. Could you help me, Nita?

Nita opens a small smile.

\- Of course.

She crosses the room and takes her gun.

\- Actually, - Tobias looks at me and Christina - You too.

Christina and I look at each other and nod. We walk up to the counter and take our guns.

\- Okay. Now, face the target and unlock the gun. - Tobias guides. There is a target on the other side of the room, more sophisticated than the target of Dauntless. It has three rings in three different colors, so that it is easier to see where the bullets hit. - Let me see how you shoot naturally.

Cara takes a deep breath and raises her gun as if holding something very heavy. She focuses on the target and shoots.

The gun shakes in her hand due to impact, and the bullet hits the ceiling. She sighs, a little frustrated.

\- Okay Cara. The first time is never any good. Turn, Caleb.

Caleb shoots somewhat better than her, but the bullet still goes wide of the mark.

\- You have to hold it with both hands - Nita says - It's not very comfortable, but gives you more firmly.

Nita stands beside Tobias, wielding her weapon and raises both arms, holding the gun in one hand and supporting it with the other. The shot hit the red circle within the target.

Tobias looks at her incredulously.

\- I knew you threw well, but it was amazing. I mean, who doesn't know would think that you'd been trained in Dauntless.

\- I come from a city as violent as yours - she replies. -I also had to fight for my life a couple of times.

Caleb and Cara shoot a few more times, and you may notice a considerable improvement. Tobias continues to guide them, saying what the best position, the best way to hold the gun, and after every statement, he allows them to try again.

\- Can I see you shoot, Tris? - Caleb looks at me, curiosity shining in his eyes - I have never seen you shoot without being injured or something.

I smile a little and see the target. I squeeze my eyes, focusing on the red circle, move my weight and shoot. My bullet misses the center of the target, but only by a few centimeters. Obviously impressed, Caleb raises eyebrows.

\- Don't look so surprised! - I say him.

\- Sorry. I just ... you used to be so clumsy, remember? I don't know how I didn't notice you were not more so...

\- More clumsy than you holding a weapon? Frankly, Caleb...

He rolls his eyes and I stuck my tongue, but in the end we are both smiling.

They follow practicing, and every time one of us gives them some instructions and show them in practice. During training, Cara and Caleb start arguing about who is doing better, and the discussion ends up taking them to different subjects like "It was I who invented the simulation of dreams." and "But you could never put into practice without my help."

At the same time, Tobias and Nita talk about the best types of weapons, and the advantages and disadvantages of being a Dauntless. In fact, they spoke only about the advantages, because for them, the disadvantages don't exist.

\- What are you thinking? - Asks Christina beside me after a while.

I open a smile and shake my head.

\- I'm just thinking - I point discreetly to Caleb and Cara, after Tobias and Nita - Well, I believe that some things are happening before our eyes.

...

-I wish Will were here - she sighed annoyed. -He was with Uriah doing who knows what.

I understand her. I miss Jeanine.

-Well, I'm here, right? - I tried to cheer her up.

-Yup - she smiled. -Emm, Tris ... I never apologized for what happened the other night. I'm really sorry.

What had happened to Nita caused me to forget the bad time that Christina had put me throug.

-Have you forgotten it and I just remind you?

-Yeah - I growled.

-Brilliant. - She sighed.

After an uncomfortable shooting session, I forgave Christina with the promise that she wouldn't mention the incident again. Half an hour later she came to ask me about my orgasms. I punched her in the shoulder.

Quietly we returned to the top floor. Not all together, to avoid attracting suspicion.

We parted each in our respective dos. I planned to go to the laboratories of genetics and have a look at the cameras. I wanted to see how the city was in our absence.

But at that time, Uriah and Will came rushing, smiling.

-You will not believe what we found! - Uriah said smiling. - A projector and a few movies!

-Do you think we're on vacation? - rebuked Cara.

Cara was cruelly ignored because Christina was interested (though still her shoulder is sore) and Caleb curious.

-Can we watch a movie? - Will asked Tobias.

-Cara is right, we aren't on vacation.

-WOW! They has Titanic! - Nita said cheerfully, taking one of the videos of the box in the hands of Uriah. -I love this movie. It's so romantic ...

-I think that a movie would help our stress.- Tobias said.

Christina chuckled.

Honestly, I would prefer not to see this movie. But my another choice is to do nothing, because laboratories are closed now. I don't like this anything. And instead of thinking about a solution, everyone want watching that stupid movie.

On second thought, I'm sure there's something more useful to do. I got up from the chair, and was going to leave when began the movie.

-Where are you going? - Caleb whispered.

-I don't know, out.

-Don't you want to see the movie?

-I'd rather listen to dad talking about how selfish is the "self-indulgence" again.

-Really? - Caleb raised his eyebrow.

Well, not really. But I don't want to be here.

At that time, all gave a muffled gasp. Alert, I tried to find what was wrong. And that's when I saw the screen.

Jeanine was there.

She wore clothes that looked very old. I had never seen anyone use anything like it. For a few seconds I was too stunned to even move. I looked around, and all my friends were similarly: paralyzed. Suddenly, the idea of leaving was not an option. I sat back in the chair, my eyes devouring the screen images.

While the film passed, and I watched the main character, I knew: it was Jeanine.

Yes, she wasn't blonde: was redheaded, and it was a few years younger, but it was Jeanine. Her face, her voice, her expressions. Even the small moon that she was above the mouth. Identical.

\- What is it? - I ask, but don't know exactly to who.

Nobody answers me, because they are all busy with their own confusion.

\- What is Jeanine doing in this movie? - Caleb question as if I had never said anything.

His words awakened me, and I think quickly.

No. The girl in the film isn't Jeanine. The film was made over a century ago, and there is no way to make this possible. None.

\- This's ... creepy. - Uriah had wide eyes - Totally creepy.

\- Someone ... - Christina begins. She's pale and terrified as seeing a horror movie - someone please explain to me what's going on before I make sure I'm crazy.

\- Oh, please! - said Lynn - There is nothing sinister. The girl in the movie looks like Tris's girlfriend. That's it.

\- But she not only looks to Jeanine. - Argues Tobias - She is simply identical to Jeanine. Okay, that's strange. Disturbing.

\- I have a theory for that. - Says Uriah - Do you believe in reincarnation?

\- No -. Cara responds rolling her eyes - It's just a coincidence. A great and amazing coincidence. Now be quiet because I want to see the movie.

-Maybe she's an ancestor. - Caleb said.

-I still maintain the theory of reincarnation. - Uriah said.

-Shut up! - Cara murmured in frustration.

It was the most disturbing moment of my life. The macabre copy of my girlfriend was in a giant ship, with a blond man who followed her everywhere. I felt a knot in my stomach. I can't believe I am jealous of a movie.

I endured Titanic with my best patience. It was not a bad movie, but the feeling of discomfort never leaves me. The girl in the movie was a normal rich girl, who fell in love with a poor artist, who ...

Oh, God. She is undressing.

And her body is similar to Jeanine's.

She is smiling provocative.

Fuck.

Caleb shifted uncomfortably in his chair, with crimson cheeks. All boys and Lynn looked just as uncomfortable and blushing, but without looking away from the redhead naked Jeanine.

-Will, go on ahead this scene.

-But Tris...

-Will, if you don't go on ahead this part, I will dash your head on the projector.

I didn't have to ask again. Smart boy.

The rest of the film was a little less uncomfortable. Until redhead Jeanine and the blond had sex behind a car. I hate Leonardo DiCaprio. I really didn't expect the ship to sink at the end. I thought the blond to stay with redhead Jeanine. Yes! The blonde died! I smiled.

Beside me, Cara was crying, and Nita had tears in her face. Uriah looked like someone who just lost a loved one.

-Jaaaack!

I looked surprised to my brother. Caleb drew his knees to her chest and began to mourn. Cara hugged him and they cried together.

\- What's wrong with you? - I asked, shocked. - That's just a movie! God, Caleb!

\- You're a insensitive ... - muttered Cara, drying the tears.

I just shook my head.

When the film was over, there was no one without red-eye in the room. The film ended and the credits began to move on the screen. Carefully I read the names of the actors.

Kate Winslet. The girl called Kate Winslet. I remember the full name of Jeanine: Jeanine Kate Matthews. A shiver runs through my body.

I shake my head in hopes of driving out all that information. I could just be dreaming. Perhaps it was a side effect of the simulation of dreams.

\- I want an ice cream - I say and spread my hands. Nothing happens.

\- We are not in a simulation. - Lynn whispers in distant voice.

\- No ... - complete Caleb. - Although the situation is strange, is real - he shakes his head imitating my gesture. - Damn. I think will not able to sleep.

Will turn off the projector and forwarded to our respective rooms. I still felt a malaise light, and knew it will be strange when I see Jeanine again, and I will see her in a moment.

That thought helped me to sleep almost instantly.


	29. David

**TRIS**

So I put my glasses, I realize that someone had chosen the place where we would be.

Jeanine is sitting in her chair, reading some papers I have no idea what they are.

She is dressed in blue again, and again wears glasses. Behind her there is a window overlooking the city. The train makes a slow curve the distance.

I've been in this place before. They aren't very pleasant memories, but are enough for me to recognize the environment.

We were in Jeanine's office.

As soon as she sees me, Jeanine leaves the papers aside and sighs.

\- You know? I miss that. My office, my city, my faction.

\- And you miss your girlfriend too, right?

She smiles and extends her arms, and I siege the table to sit on her lap.

Her hands around my waist is a perfect fit, and I sigh.

\- Maybe. - she replies with a shrug - Just a little.

\- Your sincerity fascinates me.

I kiss her a long time, biting her lower lip.

\- Soon you will have it all back. Soon we be home again.

Her face becomes dark and her lips tighten in a rigid line. I know what that means: Concern.

\- So it's tomorrow, right?

No need to ask her about what she's talking about.

\- Yes. - I answer, tense - Tomorrow night.

The silence that follows is uncomfortable, and I touch her face, making her look in my eyes.

\- I'll be ready. - she finally says.

\- It will work, Jeanine. It will be all right.

\- I hope so. And I want you to be careful, okay? Very careful. The last time you was captured by an enemy had a happy ending, but if it happens again, we can not say the same.

-Don't worry, David isn't my type - I joked.

For a moment she laughed, her feature laughter too short. But then her face changed before my eyes. Her eyes widened in terror.

-Jeanine, What ...?

-The feeling is mutual, Miss Prior.

I had two seconds to turn around and see David there in the simulation.

My primary reaction was to attack him, but before pulling away to Jeanine, I felt like I was swallowed by the darkness, and the last thing I saw was a swirl of blond hair. I don't know if David's or Jeanine's.

 **JEANINE**

I watched helplessly as Tris disappeared in front of me. I tried to hold her, but to no avail. They had taken off her glasses.

And I was alone with David.

Suddenly, David smiled, and my heart stopped in my chest. That smile reminded me of my father, when he taught me how to be strong, how to not show emotions, how to handle myself. And I was filled with terror.

-You lost, little damaged.

And then he took off his glasses and left. At the moment, I was stunned by the silence.

Then I took off my glasses frantically.

I woke up in my bed, in my underwear. I put a shirt and I started running as I pulled on some pants. I almost stumbled into the corner of the hall, but at least the room Angela is not that far. I tried to open her door but it was locked. I started banging on the door.

-Angela! Come on, wake up! Open the door!

She opened me immediately. She had dark circles, but she did not look tired.

-What happened?

-They have been discovered. We have to strike now.

 **TRIS**

My wrists start to hurt.

David is sitting in front of me, in the same chair in which I have been sitting all week. He looks at me appraisingly.

Suddenly, I have fear. I'm afraid of what he might make us all.

-My guards already must be taking your teammates. - says carefree.

For a moment, a little hope invades my mind. My companions are Dauntless. Tobias is the best fighter I've ever seen in my life. Nobody can stop him, right?

-Nobody will be hurt if they behave well. Well, maybe Cara. She looks like Jeanine, you noticed? - he sighed.

I kept a sullen silence, looking at him with all the hatred that I had accumulated for weeks.

-I suppose you wonder how I realized.

-You're a genius and all that talk. I have heard it many times.

-Your friend Will found my old projector and my films. - he stared at me. -Titanic. Hamlet. Labor Day. The Dressmaker. A Little Chaos. All films Kate Winslet. All mine.

I looked at him curiously. I'm sure David is much more than a lover of old cinema.

-I bet you surprised to see Jeanine Matthews in that movie.

-It's not Jeanine. - I answered snarling.

-"Why they would like to see a movie where someone they hate?" - He crossed his arms. -The rest was risk, and I was not wrong.

-They were your films. Did you like Jeanine? That would explain why you're here with me.

David smiled.

-You're much more Erudite than you think. And to satisfy your curiosity, I confess that I have these films because Kate Winslet is one of my ancestors. That is why Jeanine looks so like her.

I stared at him, uncomprehending.

-You do not understand, right? - David looked away at his hands. -Joshua Matthews had two childrens in Chicago. Jeanine Kate Matthews. And Jeared David Matthews.

Despite being attached to the bed in front of my greatest enemy (which can kill me at any time) I feel a strange curiosity about what he is saying. I try to connect the dots, try to find the logic behind it all, but I can't. Adrenaline makes it hard to think.

\- Do you know? - He asks softly, as if talking to a friend on a tea table - I've always been an adventurous child, too restless. So I never fit in Erudite.

\- Erudite?

David smiles.

\- Yes - he continues. -I think I would have chosen Dauntless ... that if my father had not planned to kill me, and forced me to flee. Now I see that it was actually a gift. Unfortunately, my dear baby sister was not so lucky. She stayed behind, being tortured by our father and his sick experiments.

"Experiment", "Sister", "Tortured".

I remember the conversation in Jeanine's bed, in what seemed another life. She mentioned that she had a big brother.

 _"I do not even remember his face."_

Understanding falls on me like a punch.

\- You and Jeanine are siblings? - I ask, but it sounds more like an exclamation.

\- Yes, but this is not something that I am proud. Jeanine was a psychopath since her childhood. She has nothing to do with me.

I realize how this makes sense.

I remember Angela telling me that Joshua had some failed attempts before he succeed with Jeanine. She didn't tell me anything about these other children.

And the recording that David made me listen... There was no way he could have gotten it if he was not personally connected to it. I imagine a child recorded the moment when his sister is tortured by his father, and I feel like vomiting.

\- You ... You ...

I can't complete my sentence. I can't find anything bad enough to express what I feel.

\- When I snuck out of the fence, I finally discovered the truth and I understood why I had been through all that. My father wanted to kill me because I was Divergent. Pure. Damaged are not able to accept their own disability, so they take revenge on us. During all these years, I kept an eye on Jeanine, and I confess that I was intrigued by the pathetic platonic love you always felt for her. And when you came here, saying quietly that she was dead, I suspected something was wrong, especially with the cameras off.

David didn't smiled this time.

-I came to watch you and your friends. You thought you would be safe with these glasses, right? But I've always been one step ahead of you, and I know what they are planning. Of course I will not allow it. The reason for all the world's woes are people like Jeanine, and I will not allow my memory to be erased in order to change my mind about this truth.

He takes a key from his pocket and raises from the chair.

\- Our conversation is great, but now I have to deal with your friends. Maybe, if I'm feeling generous, I can erase your memory so you fight the right side. It is really a pity kill a 100% Pure... The first. The one. You, Beatrice.

He leaves the room, and I can hear the key turning in the door handle.

I'm alone. Alone and unable to move.


	30. Final battle

**JEANINE**

When we entered into the city, they were waiting us.

Men in buildings, in the streets, all masked, all armed. They opened fire on our trucks, tanks, and cars.

It was all too fast. I barely remember everything that has happened in the last three hours. The preparation, the hurried screams. The brief look I shared with Natalie Wright. The embarrassed and uncomfortable look shared with Andrew. And the fear of not knowing how was Beatrice.

We are in great numbers. At least we have that advantage.

Half of us will not reach the Bureau, but will ensure that the back half, where I am, can reach. They will surround the way at the Bureau.

The shootings sound strident even from inside armored Angela's car. I pressed hard my knee.

\- Take it. - said Angela avoiding eye contact.

She handed me a cloth bag. I opened it immediately.

Inside it were black clothes and a small pistol.

I stared at things as if they were a joke, something strange and otherworldly.

\- They will seek a tidy woman, carefully coiffed, dressed in blue. I'm sure they will not pay attention to a soldier. Yet more when my men wear white.

I do not say a word. I took a deep breath and started to take my shirt off, as quickly as possible in the confined space of the car.

 **...**

Strangely, this clothing is not at all uncomfortable. It will be useful.

The sound of the bullets was rising while the Bureau appeared in the distance. As an unattainable goal. Hundreds of us approached more and more. More and more.

And suddenly, the front row stood at their doors. As planned, they don't tried to enter inside. The soldiers started shooting at those who tried to kill us.

And finally we reached the Bureau.

We were positioned ahead of the front line, who still defended us. We were among the loud noise and the Bureau. Thirty large cars and three trucks. All waiting for the right time to enter together. Angela leaned calmly on her seat and pulled out something incredible. It was a white-handled katana.

\- I would rather have this than any gun. - she looked at me, her eyes saying a thousand things at once - Do not forget our promises, Jeanie. I know you will not.

\- Do not act so irrationally in a moment like this.

She smiled.

\- Take care of your girl.

And then all the doors of all vehicles were opened. I felt an adrenaline I had not felt in years. I admit: I hate this adrenaline. Every good Erudite avoids strong emotions.

But I could not be a Erudite now.

I started running, getting lost in a sea of black and white. Running to the Bureau. Running to Beatrice Prior. Always to Tris.

 **...**

 **TRIS**

I stopped counting the hours after some time.

I've been staring at the ceiling without stopping, during what seemed an eternity. I can not even think straight.

I keep imagining my brother, my friends, my parents. How would are all? Why I'm alone in this captivity? Why the uncertainty should hurt like this?

Jeanine. David and Jeanine are brother and sister.

I feel like an idiot for not having noticed the resemblance ever. Platinum blonde hair, gray eyes, smart as hell. But I remember Jeanine doesn't know too. Then I no longer feel so blind.

I need to get out of here. I have to tell her.

And yet, how many will there be? Because I have the grim certainty that David is not alone. How many? How many intelligent and gray-eyed blondes there in the world? How many children Joshua Matthews had had? How many lives ruined? How many?

Jeanine's cries when she was little ... How many children have had to go through that?

Amid the murderer silence, I imagined Jeanine's smile. Her silver eyes. I wish I could talk to her now. More than anything. And try to explain how she managed to control myself, without any serum or simulation, only with her smile and her look.

My Jeanine ...

A noise explodes in the room. Someone is trying to break the door.

\- Tris?! Can you hear me? I'm Nita!

Her voice is like hope and despair for me.

Hope because I know I'm not alone, I know someone knows where I am and tries to help me.

Despair because Nita is another person who is in danger because of me.

And if David found her, he would not hesitate even a second to kill her. After all, she was not a Pure.

But despite that, I am aware that I will be much more useful free than with my feet and hands tied.

\- Nita! - I scream - Nita, it's me! David found out! He held me here and now is chasing the others!

\- Okay ... - she answers, and I have the impression that she is thinking a million things while talking to me. I can almost see her thoughtful and terrified face - I'll take you out of there now.

I see the door handle moving, and then the door opens.

Nita is pale and her brown hair is lying down on her face. I had never seen her scared before, but now, that's exactly how she is.

Quickly, she runs up to me and cuts the ropes that are holding me with a knife.

My wrists and ankles are bloodshot from lack of circulation, and it hurts like hell.

But this is by far my smallest concern.

\- Are you alright? - She asks, somewhat exasperated - He hurt you?

\- No. - I say shaking my head - I'm fine. And the others? David was going to them when he left me here! He can't to catch my friends. I swear ...

\- Calm down. - she raises her hands as if trying to calm me - Matthew saw David walking toward the dormitories and told me he thought it strange. I quickly came to check, and when I approached, I heard your screams and knew something was wrong. Then, I saw David ... and I did not have time to think. I shot him.

\- He is dead?

-. No, I did not shoot to kill. I just shot in his left arm, I did not have time to think straight. After that, I hit my gun on his head and he passed out. I called Tobias and he woke the others. They are going to distract the guards, and we need to run to the weapons lab now.

I noded and caught the roupe on the ground.

\- He's lying in the hallway, right? Let's tie him!

Nita pulls me by the arm and we run down the hallway.

I feel the adrenaline in every part of my body, I feel the taste in my mouth. My heart beats so hard it hurts my chest.

I see Nita's hair shaking as she runs, and I wonder if we'll be alive in the end of it all.

From the hallway, I can hear noises of a fight, people screaming, objects being overturned. I hear a shot, and I pray to any deity that may exist so that my friends are well.

Then Nita stops along the way, pale and dazed, as if the ground was no longer under her feet.

\- Nita? - I ask, confused - What happened? What's wrong?

\- David .. - she answers immediately. Her voice sounds distant as if she were not there. Her face shows she is verging on despair. - I left him here! He was here!

At this moment, I feel a bit of her despair. I look to the corner where she points out, and I see nothing but some bloodstains.

\- He was here, Nita. - I answer - But somehow he raised-up and left.

\- Dammit! How did he do that? I gave him a fucking shot!

\- Perhaps, to people like David a shot is not enough. He has very strong reasons to resist pain.

\- I should have killed him!

\- No, Nita. You know it would not be right.

\- If he is free, he can do something to some of them. Tobias, Caleb or any of them. We need to find him before we go to the weapons lab.

\- No. - I say, beginning to think - We have no time. I go to the weapons lab while you seek David. Tell Tobias or who you can find. Help to protect them, and I will take care of the rest.

\- But Tris ... - Nita's face was haunted - This is very dangerous. You can..

\- Die? Yeah, but anyone here can. I need to spread the serum as soon as possible. Now go and try to keep David away from me.

She looks at me for a moment, with fear and with a bit of guilt.

\- Okay. - she says - I'm sorry, Tris. It was not to be so, I just wanted ...

\- It's okay, Nita. Will be all right. I believe it. In a few hours, this place will no longer be as it is. And we'll be here to see it, right?

She nods, determined.

\- The access codes. To enter and then to release the serum. You remember, right?

\- Yes. I remember perfectly.

\- Right. So go. Good luck, Tris. I'll do my best to keep David far. I promise.

She is gone, and I run toward the weapons lab.

The chaos around me is overwhelming. I see figures moving. Faceless, voiceless, they are all like robots. Some of them saw me run. Some shot me, but I was not achieved.

And when I thought I was about to arrive, I saw my mother for a moment, barricaded behind a table with other people.

My first impulse was to call her. But she disappeared as quickly as she appeared.

I turned and turned to run. I can not waste time. I can not waste time.

When I got to the door of the weapons lab, I had a moment of desperation at not remember its location. Then I remembered that Nita had told us that was behind the bookshelf.

A medium bookshelf full of old books. Using all my strength, I pushed it to the left.

And a metal door appeared before me.

There was a panel on the right. I entered the password, trying not to forget any number. My hands were shaking a little.

The door opened and I walked immediately. Inside, everything was lit with powerful orange lamps. I saw another door across the room.

The door behind me slammed.

A sharp sound filled the place, like the flow of water. But it was not water. A purplish gas began to emerge from the soil.

Death Serum. I knew it without any doubt, with that self-certainty of despair.

I took a quick breath, I opened my eyes, and I rushed to the other end of the room. Toward the door.

The voices of all the people that I loved resounded in my ears. Tobias. Christina. Jeanine. My mother. Caleb. Jeanine. My father. Cara. Will. Nita. Jeanine. Jeanine. Jeanine.

I tumbled out the door with a violent kick.

I ignored the pain in my leg, damped by adrenaline. I did not stop running until I saw the first jars.

The room was gigantic. There were hundreds of serums. All over the walls. All different colors like caramels in a candy store.

I looked around, looking for something like Memory Serum. There was not labels. I took a deep breath to avoid panic.

\- Looking for this? - whispered a voice behind me.

I turn very slowly, with a drum in my ears.

David had a purple serum in one of his hands. And a gun in the other.

His suit was covered with blood. Nita's wound was controlled with a makeshift tourniquet.

At that moment, his face was a cold slate, emotionless. A macabre face of someone dangerous.

\- I'm surprised you remembered the password to enter. Twenty five numbers. Good memory. It would have worked if I had not just change the key.

He stepped closer to me.

\- And what surprises me most is that the Death Serum has failed to kill you.

Another step further.

\- But that's what we do, the Divergent, right? ... At the end of all, we can not be controlled.

\- Nita! - I say without thinking - What did you do to her?

David smiles, but only for a second.

\- Your friend made a serious mistake when trying to stop me. All of you made a big mistake coming to this place with the intentions you have. But you were naive enough to believe that you could destroy the Bureau. I only regret.

I want to focus in that I need to do, but I do not have enough forces. Nita. David killed Nita.

\- How did you get here? - I ask, desperate to distract him. My eyes wander around, looking for the panel that will activate the serum. David's gun is still pointed at me, but I can not be afraid, I can not feel anything.

Nita.

Forgive me, Nita.

\- The first thing one learns when becomes a leader in this place, is that the pain should not be enough obstacle to make us give up. It's needed much more than a shot to win us. As for you, Tris, I regret that things have to be like this. I regret that your passion for Jeanine has blinded you that way. But that's what the impure always do: they contaminate the pure and influence them with their behavior.

\- DON'T SPEAK ABOUT JEANINE ! - I scream lustily, the anger finally taken control of me - You don't have the right to talk about her. Even being your sister, she has nothing of you.

\- She's a killer, and you love a killer.

\- Still. - I answer - Even if she has committed murders, she did it to protect us from you. Even as a killer, she's a person much better than you, and she is loved in a way that you will never be!

And then I see in front of me. The panel will release the memory serum.

I need to achieve it before David stop me, and he is holding a gun.

"Does not matter." I think. "I need to do that. Anyway."

\- I'm really sorry, Tris. But I can not let you survive this. It's nothing personal, you understand. It's just about defending our mission.

And then I hear a bang behind David. I take advantage of the distraction and run toward the panel, expecting to feel the pain of his shots, but it does not.

Instead, I hear footsteps of a third person, and a very familiar voice.

\- Before you shoot her, you will be dead. - says Jeanine - It's over, David. Drop the gun, and I can think of to let you live.


	31. Weight

**TRIS**

I look at the door, and she is there.

My heart skips a beat, and suddenly I am trembling to the point of my legs waver.

She wears black clothes, her hair is pulled back into an elegant hairdo, and she's pointing a gun at David.

Jeanine's eyes are the very picture of fury.

She is identical to a Dauntless.

\- You don't know how to use it. - said David, laughing.

Jeanine cocked her gun and shot him in the leg.

David's cry was short, before falling and holding his bloody leg. Jeanine don't even blinked.

\- Beatrice, access the panel once, please. - Jeanine never took her eyes of David.

I saw the containers where I had seen before. They were made of glass and the purple serum were arranged in a row.

I bit my lip and inserted the key in the panel, hoping the damn David has not changed that key as well. It seemed he not had time, because it worked.

\- You are an idiot. - David said with a grin.

Jeanine did not change her expression.

\- Didn't even now, at this moment, with me in front of you, you recognizes me. I'm sure you were not so small as to not remind me at all.

Jeanine remained the same, but her eyes began to shine with confusion

\- Not even erasing my memory, you will not to stop me, Kate! - David shouted angrily.

I rushed to David's gun and I hit him in the head. Strong.

\- And I'm not the only one ... - David murmured, sneering - We are many, idiot girl.

He fell with his head on the floor and stopped talking.

Jeanine was still looking at David, but her face was no longer cold. Instead, she had a look of pure panic.

\- Jean ...

She opened her mouth and closed it again, as if unable to utter a word.

\- N-not true.

\- Jeanine ...

\- My brother died, Beatrice. - she looked me desperate - I had a brother. I do not remember him. He died when I was five. He was a damned, a nightmare, he used to lock me in the basement and once, he pushed me down the stairs. But he's dead. Dead. He is dead!

She started talking very fast, just controlling what she was saying and watching David's face like a ghost.

My heart broke at that time. Because I never, never had seen her out of control. Desperate.

\- He c-called me Kate. And Jeared called me that, taunting, because he knew I hated that name ...

\- Please calm down. Calm down.

I walked slowly and wrapped her in my arms.

She was trembled. Her eyes were frightened as a four year old girl.

Maybe that was the same look she had every time her father tortured her to make her "strong."

\- Okay ... - I whisper in her shoulder, soaking her shirt with my tears - It's over,Jeanine. We'll be fine now.

She do not answer me, and her face is still somewhere between blankness and despair.

\- He's dead ... - she repeats - Dead ...

\- Yeah. - I agree - David is dead because he never more will be David again. He'll wake up and we will give him a new story. He will no longer hurt anyone.

By far, I hear alarm sounds and footsteps running toward the Weapons Lab.

And I do not feel any fear.

At this point, I see Jeanine waking. All the shock and despair is gone from her face, and she is confident as ever.

\- Let's get out of here. - she says, running her hands through her hair - Your parents and your friends are worried sick.

I feel a sudden chill spreading through my body, and then a crushing pain.

Blame. Remorse. Rage. More blame. Much blame.

Nita is dead.

\- He killed her ... - I whisper feeling hot tears forming in my eyes, clouding my vision - She died trying to prevent he got here.

Jeanine says nothing, and I know why.

She knows that words don't would be enough now. No word would change anything.

We separate and walk to the door, free and entrapped at the same time.

Free of the Bureau and all the weight we carry for David's fault.

Entrapped to the new weight that the revelation had given us.

* * *

In the hallway, I see confused guards.

They look around, holding their weapons as if they did not know what it was, or why they were there.

We would to deal with them later. We would give them a new story, a new purpose.

Jeanine walks beside me with lost eyes, but with stance confident, finally freed from the heavy burden she carried during all her life. I'm sure everything would be fine in some time. Jeanine would overcome the shock of the revelation, then we would live our dreamed future.

I feel as if I had carried that weight with her all this time, even before birth. And now both of us were equally free.

Although it has cost the life of an innocent.

We were taken out of the disorder to be introduced into another.

People without memories were being taken to receive medical help.

These people were totally confused, without understanding anything. And they will be like that for a while.

I had the strange feeling that in reality, the fight was not over. Only our participation in it.

Jeanine insisted that I received medical help for my broken hand. Only then I realized that I had struck David so hard that I hurt my hand.

It hurt like hell and my mind was very messy. And there's nothing like the talk of a doctor to order your thoughts.

Even so, I did not go to heal the wound at first. Jeanine insisted, but I kept refusing. Eventually we had our first couple fight, in the middle of a desolate hallway, with she dressed as a Dauntless and having the worst hand pain of my life. She was adamant, and in the end, I agreed. We reconciled as fast as we fight. And the worst of all is that seemed totally normal.

In the huge hall, many wounded were attended, but Jeanine led me to another place where there were fewer people. She knew I did not need to see anyone else suffer. Not now, when I was selfish enough to allow me to think about anything.

Whom helped me turned out to be the famous Matthew, who, surprisingly, was another blond with gray eyes. He was pretty friendly, and most importantly, quiet. I gritted my teeth while he was bandaging my hand, with the other holding strongly Jeanine's.

After her short panic attack in the weapons lab, she was quiet as a mouse. Perhaps it was the shock, or some other type of psychological trauma left by a war. Maybe I also will got one.

I pressed her hand so hard that I was afraid to hurt it. She turned to face me. Her face was serious, as if she were far away. We looked at the other and did not said anything. I do not know about her, but every time I look into her eyes I feel calm.

She released my hand and moved closer to hug me with firmly. I rested my head on her shoulder. She kissed my head, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

I hate blush.

\- Well, that's it. - Matthew announced.

At that moment another commotion was heard.

People running and dragging a stretcher. They entered between all the noise and contributed their part to increase it. The doctors talked about take her to the emergency room. I did not want to look, but I did anyway.

And thank Goodness I did. Because in the stretcher was Nita, and one of the men who ran following the stretcher was Tobias.

The confusion came to me before the relief.

In my memory, David's words were still vivid: "Your friend made a mistake when trying to stop me. All of you made a mistake coming here..."

Until then, I knew that Nita's death was one of the many blame that I had to carry all my life, but the scene in front of me changed all my certainties.

Without thinking more, I started to run to Tobias.

\- Tris? - Jeanine followed me - Tris where you ...

\- Tobias! - I cried, and he looked at me.

He was pale, and his expression showed the purest anguish I had ever seen on his face.

\- Tobias ... - I repeated, panting - Nita ... I, I'm sorry, I swear I did not want ...

He shook his head continuously as I spoke.

\- It was not your fault. - he said - It could have happened the same to you.

\- She is...?

\- I do not know, they did not tell me anything. I'm trying to figure out, but ...

\- Go stay with her. - I said, touching his shoulder - Nita needs you. I promise I'll look for you as soon as possible.

He nodded and continued following the stretcher, until they came for a duplicate door and disappeared.

\- He's right. - Jeanine muttered behind me - It's not your fault.

\- It is very easy to say it when I'm fine. - I said bitterly - And people always get hurt because of me.

\- It's not true. - she hugged me and lay my head on her shoulder. - And besides, no one else will need to be hurt. Never. Thanks to you and your friends, and Nita.

\- I hope she's here to see the result of her own struggle.

A tear runs down my face.

I inhaled her scent, letting it invad my nostrils and my whole system. It brought me some comfort, and I allowed myself to be selfish and feel good for a moment.


	32. Reorganization

Unfortunately, we did not sleep all night. All the time we were trying to do something for the disaster that was around us.

At first, the Bureau's reinforcements tried to take it again. They were soldiers who had been left out, fighting Angela's people.

They were three hours of loud noise. My hand was still hurting. I entrench with others healthy at the entrance. Caleb was with me, trembling, looking like a child with that gun in his hand. We did not know if we would have to use it or not. We did not have to do it. We had luck.

We had overcome the Bureau, but we were still prisoners of his government.

I asked Jeanine about our problem the day after the attack. I felt a little frustrated because we could not escape. My plan to use the plane had been in ashes. During the fight, soldiers of the Bureau took the plane in an attempt to avoid the attack. Unfortunately they did not return.

-We're going out. -She assured me. Her hands were bloody. With so many injured, all people who have a minimum of medical knowledge must help.

I was so tired I would have given my right foot to be sleeping in our room, but could not afford to waste time feeling tired.

-How do we get out? - I asked. -We have many wounded and there would resist another attack.

-We will not go out with bullets. Let's walk out quietly. I just need a little time to implement our Plan B.

-Plan B?

-For The case of not being able to escape -she pursed her lips. -Like now.

-And which one is it?

Jeanine looked me in the eyes, tense.

-Is there something you're not telling me?

-Many things, dear -her smile was sad. -So many that, if I could say them, I would not know where to start. But guess that I must begin for the matter: Currently, this country is in elections.

I watched her face calmly, waiting for her to continue.

-There's a candidate for president. She is impure. She has the lead in the elections, and if she wins, it would mean a change in the country. A change that we could not achieve alone. Her name is Alma Coin.

-That is good news, why you have that face? -asked.

Jeanine blushed, and for a moment was so nervous that worried me. Until she pulled herself together.

Because she's my ex-girlfriend ... and we did not finish very well. And she may decide she want to blow me in pieces.

Jeanine told me the story, or at least mostly ...

She was seventeen when she met Alma Coin, a coming girl from a devastating war. Alma had experienced far worse privations to which I could imagine, even being grown in Abnegation. Alma did not look like anyone Jeanine had ever met. She was drawn to it immediately, she confessed with red cheeks.

I decided I did not want to know the rest. Just one more thing.

-Why did it end?

-Because she wanted me to stay with her.

-Why didn't you do it? You didn't love her?

I felt strange. Not exactly jealous, I had assumed there had been others before me. But I had never given them a name.

Alma Coin. Future President Alma Coin.

-... I chose my duty before her. -Jeanine watched her thumbs, kilometers away. -I could not do that with you. I chose you. I always will choose you.

…

The change came two days later. By then, we had some serious problems. The prisoners without memory tried to escape, some were badly wounded and supplies began to dwindle.

I had not seen my girlfriend since.

On the day she helped the doctors, which caused me a mixture of pride and surprise. Perhaps her remorse made her feel responsible for all the wounded. I'm not saying she is the only responsible, I know she isn't, because I also am. We are all responsible for this.

At night she locked herself with Angela, talking for hours. Every time I saw her in a hallway, or stole a look, she had dark circles under the silvery eyes. But nothing affected her efficiency, with energy that made me feel a little jealous.

I was dying of sleep. Beside me, doing surveillance on one of the tall windows, Caleb had fallen asleep standing. Together the soldiers were watching outside. They had set up camp in front of the Bureau, waiting for some weakness from us.

I looked askance at my brother. He was taller, with unkempt hair too, and a shadow of beard on his cheeks. God's Sake, Caleb has beard.

When we have become adults?

-No Jack, please, don't die. Don't let Rose ...

I take that back.

-Caleb, wake up.

-Don`t Let me go, Jack ...

I gave him a blow on the shoulder and my brother woke up, startled. Caleb looked everywhere, before making sure that no enemies. Or icebergs.

-That hurts!

-You know what else hurts? The boiling water. I 'll try with that if you go back to sleep.

-Don't out on me if you're in a bad mood, "Beatrice". -he said, imitating the voice of Jeanine.

-First, We all are in a bad mood. This morning Cara almost kills a nurse. Second, Jeanine does not speak that way.

Caleb scowled at me and the conversation died. At the time it happened something very strange in the camp that was before us. One by one, the men began to raise their stuff.

I was about to sound the alarm when Caleb stopped me.

-They're leaving. -said my brother.

-We have to warn others.

But before we take two steps, Angela and Jeanine appeared down the corridor to the door.

-It seems they already know. -Caleb whispered.

He stayed in the huge window, and I walked into the hallway, where a number of armed people were accompanying Angela and Jeanine. My girlfriend looked like a disaster, but she seemed not to notice or care. Angela looked exactly the same as always: as a clean and efficient robot. But there was a big difference, a detail that didn't fit in her: she had a very rare sword in the back.

-Jeanine.

She turned to look at me. Her face brightened and relaxed when she saw me.

-Here you are. -She took my hand and not stopped walking.

-What's going on?

-The Army withdraws. Orders of the new President.

-New President? As soon?

-The country is a disaster. The former president escaped. And the new President, as I predicted, is Alma Coin.

I opened and closed my mouth, digesting the words.

-And the pure people? They...

-They do not have a choice. -she interrupted. -For better or for worse, it is over.

-What about us?

-The New president is out. She came to... talk, I suppose. And I was looking for you.- She took my hand tightly. -I need you with me.

Before I can answer, the door opened.

Outside it looked like a post-apocalyptic scene. No one was there, not a soul. People who were there a moment ago had disappeared.

There was only one green car.

-I hate that color. -Angela whispered.

A couple of men came out of the front of the car and opened the door to a redhead woman.

It was a bit taller than me, woman with an impish smile and a playful look in her green eyes. Her face and collarbone were spattered with freckles, that far from make her ugly, its expanded her skin like splashes of a painter. The woman looked at us and studied us with a quick glance.

-Angela Roth, Ms. Beatrice Hazel Prior ... and you. -shee raised an eyebrow and smiled at Jeanine. -My favorite little mess. When did you stop wearing glasses, Bluebird?

-Jeanine. -she replied with a killer voice.

I know your name. -said the red-haired woman smiling. -Not it has been so long.

-Are we going to be here much longer, Alma? Or should I call you President Alma Coin?

-Call me as you like, Bluebird, but do it from your city -the smile fell a bit. -Because you may put ugly things here and you are too easy a target. I want you leave. To Chicago again, this very night. I have come in person to say this out for respect. We are grateful for what you have done here ... but if you stay longer, everything will go to hell.

-We need more time.

-Tonight -the smile died completely. -Come back to your beloved city, Bluebird. Don't force me to bomb the Bureau.

And again, the red-haired woman got into the limo and left. Before leaving, her eyes fell on me. The look she gave me left me cold. There was a mixture of jealousy and curiosity. But not a good curiosity.

-Well ... I'll get things ready. I do not trust the patience of your psycho ex-girlfriend. I told you that girl would be a trouble. -Angela said slightly annoyed.

-Angela ...

-Don't "Angela" me. I told you.

And with that, she disappeared with the rest of the men, leaving me alone with Jeanine.

-She called you "Bluebird"?

\- ... At least she did not call me "Bitch".

\- There are worse nicknames. She could have called you "Mockingjay". I hate those birds. They make noise in mating season... on second thought, "Mockingjay" is a good nickname for you.

\- Beatrice!

I shook my head, smiling. I don't trust Alma Coin and I will keep an eye on her. Because no one will hurt Jeanine, with or without reasons.

I decided it didn't matter. No matter what the new president and my girlfriend had been in the past. As neither matter our past of hatred, our mistakes, not even our successes.

We were there, ready to start over, to do it again, to face the future. Together.

\- Do I have to worry about some other spiteful ex-girlfriend? - Finally I answer.

Jeanine nods and smiles.

\- No. Because there is no one in this world that I might want to but you.

She leans over and kisses me. The taste of her lips awakens an electric current through every nerve ending in my body.

The Caleb's simulation was realistic, but never come even close to the truth touch feel. In a way, I had forgotten how the feeling of being powerful was be skin to skin with her, and feel it again was something totally insane. Absurdly wonderful.

And we would have a long time for this.


	33. Peace

The sun is already setting when finally I go to see Tobias.

For the first time in a while that seems like an eternity, I feel relaxed enough to observe the color patterns that sky has in late afternoon. It is a beautiful orange tone winning contrast between the first stars that begin to appear in the sky.

The air smells like earthy and freshness, and the vision inspires warmth and comfort. Peace.

I open the door slowly and carefully, and the first thing I see is Tobias's face.

He has tired and anguished eyes and his shoulders are rounded forward. One of his hands holds Nita's hand, and his look is fully fixed on her sleeping face.

Nita is injured, but looks good. Her skin is flushed and, by the way her chest rises and falls regularly, she breathes normally. For a moment, I have a gloomy flashback the first time I entered the room where Jeanine was after Tori have shot her. I remember the sound of the heart monitor, the oxygen mask on her face, the gray and sickly tone of her skin.

The image of that hospital room is totally different. Nita is not connected to any machine, and does not use anything to help her breathe. She just has bandages involving her left thigh, and one bandage on her cheek.

I breathe with relief. I had imagined something a hundred times worse than that.

I enter the room and close the door behind me. The atmosphere is cooler than the outside, and my skin shivers. Tobias is aware of my presence, but takes a few seconds before looking away from Nita to look at me.

\- Hey. - I salutes him.

\- Hey. - He replies, smiling a little, but the smile did not reach his eyes.

He becomes to look at Nita, and I do the same.

Seeing her sleeping is somewhat strange. Nita always seemed a warrior in full-time, and I never thought she could look fragile. But here, with closed eyes, that's exactly how she looks.

\- I'm really sorry, Tobias.

He is silent for a while, and I think maybe he's not very connected to the reality around him.

\- It was my fault. - He answers finally - There was a mess, and I was David's target. He was going to shoot me, and Nita threw herself against him, trying to pull the gun from his hand. The gun went off.

\- But ... she will be okay. Right?

\- Yeah. - He sighs - She lost some blood, which made her weak, but they managed to stop the bleeding in time.

I breathe, letting his words were absorbed by my mind.

\- When I was in the weapons lab, David hinted that she was dead.

\- Maybe he wanted to scare you. - Tobias answers - To leave you stunned to something.

\- Perhaps. - I think about it. Maybe Tobias was right, maybe David was afraid of losing, after all. He had his arm injured while I was healthy. Or maybe it was just cruelty. Maybe just the pleasure to see the pain in my eyes.

\- I believe that when she wake up, you should tell her. - I tell Tobias, and he turns his look to me, confused.

\- Tell her? What should I tell her?

\- That you're in love with her. - I just answer.

Tobias's eyes widen, and he moves his mouth a couple of times, seemingly unable to say anything coherent.

\- Maybe ... maybe you're right. - He admitted.

I felt a sudden surge of affection for that boy, who had suffered all his life, and not yet stopped to suffer.

Tobias was strong. Much stronger than anyone I know, much stronger than me. And he deserved to be happier more than anyone else.

\- I will tell her. - he answered.

\- She'll be happy.

\- After all ... - he put his hand on her cheek - The worst that could happen is she reject me for some psychotic blonde. That would be very unlucky.

\- You're not funny. Do not try to make jokes. - I answered frowning.

\- Me? - he smiled - Have you ever heard your own jokes, Tris?

\- I'm sure they're better than yours.

\- Maybe. - He smiled again. - Since when?

\- Since when what?

\- Since when ... she?

I understood instantly what he meant.

\- Always. - I said, smiling a little. - And it sounds corny, but it always will be thus ... and take that smirk off your face!

 **...**

When I return to the bedroom, Jeanine is lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

On her face is the more serene expression I had ever seen. A relaxed expression which seems strange for a moment. I never thought that one day I would to see Jeanine that way.

What most strikes me now is my own perception about her. Although nothing had changed in fact in her appearance, with that state of mind, she looked ten times more beautiful.

When she sees me, she smiles, and I return the smile.

I walk to the bed, to lie down beside her, and she follows every step.

I lie down on my side of the bed, and she involves me in her arms. I lay my head on her chest and sigh.

\- We did it. - I murmur.

\- Yeah. - She says - All this still does not seems real. With nothing else tormenting my mind. Without David, without the Bureau and their barbarous government. I did not think I would live long enough to see it.

\- But you lived. - I tell her, smiling on her chest - and will live much longer. And the best of all? You'll be stuck with me all this time.

I do not have visual contact with Jeanine, but I know she is smiling.

\- I do not know when you became so presumptuous, but I must admit that yes, this is the best part of all.

At this moment, I see a flashback in my mind.

I see myself surrendering to her in the Erudite headquarters, I see her tortured look to run tests on me, I see our fight in her bedroom, our first kiss.

Our struggle for life against Tori, the moments of anguish I had passed by the time she was unconscious. The judgement.

And my promise. Above all, my promise.

\- You know, - I tell her standing up, to be able to look in her eyes - When you were in the hospital shortly after Tori shoot you, when Angela told me about your childhood and about all the things you had been through ... - I wince at the memory - After listening your story, I made a promise to us both. I promised that if we both survived everything, then there would be no anyone or anything that could separate us. I promised that I would be where you were, no matter what happened. And I just get very, very happy to fulfill that promise. For the rest of my life.

Jeanine is smiling and her eyes are moist. I pretend not to notice, though.

\- I did a very similar promise in the past. - she says, almost whispering - When I decided for your life, when I injected you the paralysis serum instead of death serum and took you to my house. While you slept deeply under the influence of the serum, I promised myself that by the time of life that was left me, I would take care that you were secure and safe. I did not think I would have much time, and believe me, Beatrice, there is nothing in the world most valuable to me than that.

At that point, she has her face hidden in my neck, holding me firmly but without force.

\- Hold me strong. You know I will not reject you. - I whisper.

Then, she hugs me stronger, as if hugging someone she has missed for too long. As if hugging the most desperate desire of her heart.

She is very strong, more than I thought. I step one of my hands on her neck and play a bit with her hair, surprising how much it had grown up in our separation.

\- Thank you. - she whispers in my shoulder, very softly - For not to surrender to me.

\- I guess my brother was right. I never stop until I get what I want, no matter what I have to do. - I support my nose on her shoulder. - And I wanted you. I do not know since when you are my priority, and sometimes I'm afraid that is not healthy loving someone that way. - I kiss her neck - But while I can, I'll be by your side. And I'll do anything to protect us. To us and to all people who I love, but you more than anyone.

I feel Jeanine's anguished smile against my neck.

\- I must have done something good to you love me that way.

\- You are good. Anyone who says otherwise does not know the whole story.

\- No one knows the whole story. - she whispers and loosens her grip - Not even myself. There are many things I do not know, that I will never be able to know because my father is dead and my mother left me. But I'll tell you everything I know, without avoiding the truth.

\- Your mother... what?

That detail hit me like a bucket of cold water. I had heard horrible details about Jeanine's father, but absolutely nothing about her mother. Nothing. Angela had avoided naming her like a religious avoids naming the devil.

I want to look Jeanine's face, but she grabs her grip. Apparently, she felt safer talking without anyone looking at her.

\- She left me. - she says quietly - When she knew the truth, she fled out of the city, like Jear ... David. And we never talked again about her. - her voice becomes lower - I do not know what happened to her. I do not want to know.

I did not know what to say.

\- I hated her, and she hated us. In a way I understand why. She married by force, because she had the best genetics and my father wanted her ... DNA. -the grip loosens a bit, and I feel her hot breath on my neck. - And here I am. And here is David. And with the miracles of in-vitro fertilization, who knows how many more?

\- And yet you don't hate him.

\- How could I hate him after what I've become? - her expression is bitter and guilty - I've been all my life doing exactly the same as him, believing it was the right thing to do. I killed people and used others as experiment objects because I was thinking of the greater good. Just like him. I can not judge him, Beatrice. I'm the last person in the world who can do this.

I realized with some shock that she was right. I had been horrified by the things that her father had done to her, but could not hate her for equally bad things she had done to me and to many others.

And immediately I realized the difference: I loved Jeanine, and that made me blind to her mistakes.

I realized that love can lead us to be selfish, and it showed up clearly by the way that I had fought for her life even though she had taken so many lives.

This perception was somewhat shocking at first, but I decided that it would not change anything.

\- But that does not matter, right? - I look at her face, trying to decipher from her expression what she was thinking.

\- No. - She finally answers - It does not matter anymore.

\- Great. - I turn to lay down my head on her chest - Now, let's sleep.

\- Yeah. - She agrees - We had many sleepless and exhaustive days. We deserved rest, right?

\- Quite right. - I say closing my eyes.

I fall asleep with Jeanine's smell in my nostrils, feeling her hands stroking my hair.


	34. Genes

When Caleb and I enter the office, my mother has her back to us.

She stares at the walls as if lost in time, and I wonder what is going on in her head. Probably she is remembering when she lived there, when she was part of that world.

Caleb and I look at each other and smile nervously. Strange as it is, I feel no more the anger that had taken possession of me when Jeanine told me about it. Perhaps the excess of tension in which I found myself at that time had raised my nervousness level, but now I can see things clearly, I can understand her. If she do not told us anything, she should have a good reason.

Feeling our approach, she turns to look at us and smiles a smile so sweet that I feel with four years old again.

\- My babies. - She walks up to us and hugs me and Caleb at the same time - I've been so worried all this time, I was so afraid of something happening to both of you ...

She kisses Caleb's cheek, and then mine.

\- We also had fear for you and Dad. - Caleb answers - But we are well now, right? Definitely well.

My mother nods and closes her eyes, as if his words were a total relief to her.

\- You were very strong and brave. You protected yourselves and yours friends. I'm so proud...

The three of us smile together, and the first time I notice that my mother no longer behaves like a member of Abnegation. Smiles and hugs were not very common in my former faction.

This leads me to think about our future and the factions. We would still have space in them after all that happened? Our city would still be able to live with factions after the revealed truth? I decide to leave this question for later, because there are more important things I want to know before that.

\- You called us here for a reason. Is there anything you want to tell us.

She nods and looks me and Caleb in the eyes.

\- Yeah. - She takes a deep breath - I feel I owe it to both of you. As much as I love Abnegation and their values, I do not think it's fair to deprive the people we love of our past. Come here.

She gestures to the couch in the corner of old David's office and sits down.

\- You may already know. - she starts - I came from this place. I was not born in our city, I was put there to stop divergent's death.

\- Yeah. - I answer - Jeanine told me.

\- I was going to ask her to not to tell you anything, but I thought of it too late. - She looks around the office almost with nostalgia, but not a good nostalgia, that make us miss the past. It is a sad nostalgia, something regretful. - You know, this was the first place they brought me when I came here. Right here I had my first conversation with David.

I look her, evaluating her behavior. I can only feel love for her at this time, I want to hug her. She is my mother and I'm too happy not to have lost her. I'm really lucky.

\- My father died and I had nothing else to do in this place. In this world. So I did not hesitate a second when David proposed me to infiltrate in the city. - she looks to Caleb, dreamily - I named you like him. "Caleb." It was my father's name.

Caleb smiles.

\- My mission was going well, I liked being in Dauntless. My goal was to infiltrate in Erudite and be a sort of "secret agent". I should choose Erudite in my Choosing Day.

\- We know what happened. - Caleb mutters.

\- Your father was what happened. - she sighs - He, the most adorable, cute, funny, innocent, responsible and selfless boy I had known. He was and still is the best person I know. Because of it I can understand you, Tris. I can understand what is to be crazy for love, to the point that nothing matters more. I went with him to Abnegation, renouncing the outside world, without ever repenting. And you did everything possible to protect Jeanine. I do not know if she is good for you, or if someone is good enough for you, but it was your decision and you never regretted it.

I smile at her, relieved since the depths of my soul. My mother understands me. She understands and accepts my choices.

She accepts me.

\- I could to save some divergents even out of Erudite. I believe that many of them are here. In a way, I continued my mission independently. So I decided to choose Abnegation, I broke up with David and the Bureau.

\- We also know of it. - I smile - Well, I hope it do not make you upset but ... they gave us your diary. We know about this part of the story.

My mother smiles back.

\- I would never be upset. It's my story, after all. You are part of my story, then you have the right to know of it. And I can say that I could not have done better choice.

She looks reflectively at Caleb and me, and I know exactly what she wants to say: her choice had given her us, and that was the most important thing in the world.

\- It may seem silly but ... I'm glad you have broken with David. I'm glad you're not one of them, that you're not loyal to them. I hate the things they think ... I mean, the things they thought.

My mother nods, looking proud of me.

\- I was always afraid of how it would be when you knew the truth. I was afraid of you to believe this thing of genetic defect, and this generate resentment between you two. I was afraid of you move away from each other because of this, but I see I was wrong. None of you believed that, and that made you even more united.

\- You never believed it, right? - asks Caleb - You never believed in genetic deficiency.

My mother vehemently denies with her head.

\- No. Never.

She takes our hands and puts them together. She looks deep into our eyes.

\- A person, - she begins - can never be defined by genetic. What defines the people are the choices they make, and it is not and will never be related with genes.

\- If so, you would not have fallen in love with Dad. - I smile - Where is he, anyway?

My mom opens her eyes for a moment.

\- I knew we were missing something. - Caleb whispers.

 **...**

\- They locked my father in a cell!?

\- Beatrice ... - my mother takes me by the shoulders - I love that man with all my heart, but...he do not serves to the war. He was safer there.

\- We have to go for him ... And you stop smiling as well!

\- Me? - asks my girlfriend, mischievously.

\- I bet it was your idea!

\- Again with the accusations, my dear? I did not locked your father ... but I was there. It was fun.

We are in the hallway. As soon as I knew what had happened to my father, I went to Jeanine. My brother and my mother followed me worried.

\- We have to get him out!

\- We will do it, do not worry. - Jeanine touches my shoulder.

\- He must be so worried ...

\- My dear Beatrice ... - she approaches my face to kiss me - We will release him. He'll be fine, I promise.

I give her a hug.

\- Ehhmm ... we're still here. - Caleb whispers.

\- Jeanine, please, can you do not kiss my daughter in front of me? I still need to get used to your ... your ... presence. - my mother looks pale.

I release Jeanine immediately, feeling my cheeks burning. Fuck. fuck. fuck. I forgot they were there.

\- Mmm ... let me think ... - she puts a hand to her chin. - No.

She kisses me before I can get away and walks down the hall.

\- I'll see you at night, Beatrice.

Perhaps it was too seductive tone she used to say my name, or absolute shame for being in front of my mother, but my face took the temperature of the sun.

\- I feel very uncomfortable. - whispers my mother.

\- Welcome to the club. - Caleb says.

…

\- We're fine, Tris. - Johanna's voice sounds a bit distorted by the control room's microphone, but I can perfectly understand - is getting better, actually. We managed to get everyone to enter into an agreement, and we are now in political reorganization process.

\- Political Reorganization? - I ask curiously.

Behind me are Caleb, Tobias and Nita - that was still recovering from her wounds, but wanted to be there anyway.

\- Well, the stalemate between those who wanted that the factions continued and those who wanted them to be extinct was almost causing another war, until some Erudite members suggested a peaceful solution that would be good for both sides.

\- What kind of magic solution would do that? - Nita asks, with one hand supporting her injured leg and the other holding Tobias's shoulder.

\- Well ... - Johanna replies - Let's say that the factions still exist, but they will be optional.

My brain tries to process the information and find sense in what she says.

As a child, the most important thing we learned was to choose a faction was the most important decision of our lives. A fatal and inevitable choice which we could not escape.

Despite all the upheavals that had happened in recent months, the idea of a faction be something "optional" still sounds totally surreal in my mind.

As an echo of my own thoughts, Tobias's voice breaks the silence.

\- Optional?

\- How is this possible? - my voice joins to his.

\- The factions will continue to exist for those who want to join them. They will continue worshiping the same values, the same philosophy and have the same former activities, and those who did not want to be part of any faction, have the freedom to make that choice without being excluded from society.

\- That's something ... hard to imagine. - Tobias whispers.

\- It's the best solution we found. Your mother is in accordance with our agreement, Factionless no longer be a problem, apparently.

\- Tomorrow we will see it with our own eyes. - I mutters suspiciously, remembering how Evelyn tried to kill Jeanine that night. No doubt she could be a problem in the future.

\- Do you have everything ready? - Asks Johanna

\- Yeah.

\- Your father is here, Tris. He is safe and sound.

\- It's a relief. - I feel my body relax. - His transfer had no problems?

\- None too important. He is nervous. But we feed him with some of our breads and ...

\- Peace Serum? - I exclaim. - They injected my father with peace serum!?

\- As I said before ... - Johanna replies defensively. - He was nervous. And only ate two breads. He's fine...

I cover my face in frustration.


	35. Home

That night was to be the last of us outside the fence. I need sleep very well. Although relief flooded me, a small part of me thought it was too good to be true, though I knew it was not. Jeanine and I had achieved.

But I was angry with her.

I went early to bed, closing the door. I was taking my clothes off when the door creaked, and the person behind asked:

-Tris? You are in?

-I'm.

-The door is closed.

-And it will stay closed.

-Sorry?

-You're not going to sleep with me. That will be your punishment for what you did in front of my mother. -I said to the door.

-You got to be kidding...

I didn't answer.

-Beatrice, open the door!

-No, Jeanine.

-I'm a freaking genius, do you think a door will stop me? I know lockpicking!

-I've filled the lock with newspaper.

I listened as she bent down to look through the keyhole. There was no such hole.

-Stop acting like a child and open the door!

-You better don't sleep with Lynn, she will ask you, maybe. She loves Titanic.

-It was just a little joke -she sighed.

-I'm not your damn trophy! -I yelled her.

"Can you open the door and let me sleep, Tris !?" Cried Uriah the distance from his room.

-I'm not going anywhere, Tris. Please, open the door.

-No.

-Beatrice!

-Go away and create a Opener Serum!

I went to bed and covered my head with the pillow, to stop hearing her. I hoped that she left soon.

\- You are angry and for a simple kiss? - she don't left. -It seems like I did something horrible.

-You used me to make fun of my mother.

\- I made you feel used? - she whispered. -Oh, Tris, I'm sorry. It was not my intention.

-And then you said "I'll bang you tonight," and you left!

-I said "I will see you tonight!".

-It's the same! You know it!

-I am sorry. Can you open me the door, please?

I stuck my head under the pillow and sighed in frustration. I got up, I took the tweezers with which I filled the lock and removed the newspaper. Then I could open the door. Jeanine became cautious, trying to read if I was angry or not. I went back to bed without a word and watched the wall.

Jeanine sat next to me and was silent, as if waiting for something. Two minutes later, I found out what she expected.

\- You could look at me, Beatrice? - Her voice was sweet and calm, and I felt my heart skip a beat. - Please?

At first, I didn't. The anger I felt was still strong enough to resist. But then I imagined her pleading eyes, her hurt at seeing me unanswered. Damn it! I could never resist it. I turned to face her, her expression poured cold water on my anger. Her eyes were sad.

\- Sorry - She said softly. - I'm sorry if I hurted you. I have never thought of you as if you were a trophy.

I sighed and nodded, pursing my lips uncomfortably. Part of me still wanted to be angry with her, but the other part wanted to leave it pass.

I imagined how it would be suppress my feelings up to a point I didn't even know what they were. It certainly would need a little practice, and Jeanine had not even had time to practice.

\- It's all right. - I said, finally letting flow my feelings - I'm sorry too.

She took my hand and clasped to her - I love you.

My chest became an erupting volcano, seething with emotions like incandescent lava.

\- I love you too. - I replied.

And then, in such a short time that not even noticed, our lips were together. Kissing her was like hear a song on the piano.

\- I'm sorry, Beatrice. - She said, breathing exasperated way. Her lower lip was red and swollen for a bite my. - I promise never to expose you that way.

\- It's all right. - I mutter - Just be a little careful in front of my family, okay?

\- Okay.

..

I had a strong feeling of Deja Vù when I saw Jeanine combing her hair in a neat braid.

Of course, now the braid was a little longer. Jeanine combed her hair as if was solving a complicated problem, trying to eliminate any messy hair. I approached her from behind, kissing her cheek.

-You let me?

She hesitated, then handed me the comb. We sat in bed for more comfort, I in my knees and her with legs crossed. The thin blond hair felt like silk on my fingers, and I brushed it slowly but firmly.

\- Actually it feels good -Jeanine said.

-Would you like to cut your hair? - I asked.

-For now let's leave it, long ago that I do not have long hair- she said quietly. -Perhaps it is a change for the better.

-I think you look good both ways.

-I would look good even if I was bald -she smiled playfully.

I finished combing her hair. I took off my clothes and Jeanine helped me to dress. This promised to be a good day.

...

Outside there was the clutter known by me: preparations for a long journey

Many of my friends were preparing luggage and putting that to trucks. I saw in the distance Tobias and Nita, preparing boxes.

-I'll be back -I said to Jeanine.

She poked her head out of the papers she was reading (I can not believe that those things have followed her up here) and nodded. I went to my friends. Apparently, they were talking about something very interesting when I arrived.

-Hello - I said. -Nita, we can talk for a moment?

Tobias and Nita exchanged a meaningful look.

\- Well... - Tobias clears his throat. - I think I should leave you alone, to talk more comfortably. I'll meet you in the room - he said smilling a bit to Nita.

When Tobias is gone, I find myself alone with Nita. And I have no idea how to start the conversation. Fortunately, she does it in my place.

\- Hello Tris

\- Hello ... Nita.

\- I see that we did a good job, right?

I smile.

\- An excellent job.. It's over, Nita. The Center is no longer the way it was. People here will gain a new story, a new purpose. They will learn that human beings are more than just genes. This stupid thing to genetic damage is over.

Her eyes shine like two onyx stones, and I realize that I had never seen her so happy. Nita looks like a girl of nineteen, a nineteen year old girl who she really was.

\- That's nice. - she says with relief. - That is really nice.

I thought of telling her that her words were like an understatement, but I decided to go straight to the point make it better for both of us.

\- It is exactly why I came to thank you.

Nita frowns.

\- Thank me?

\- Yeah - I say. - And there is not as if I had no reason for this. When we entered this mission, we had a goal, and we would never have been achieved if you had not shown up.

I remember my distrust of her at first, and how I had accused Tobias have put us at risk trusting her. I feel a shiver when I realize what would have happened without her help.

\- I also had a goal, Tris. And I would never have gotten if you had not shown up. That means we're even.

\- Good - I reflect - Maybe you're right.

Nita bites her lip and becomes red suddenly. She seems to be reflecting between making or not anything. Then, with a sigh, she simply takes a step forward and hold me.

I freeze at first, surprised by the sudden gesture. But then, as the latter goes, I wrap my arms around her as well.

\- Thanks - she whispers in my ear. - Thanks for everything.

We moved away, and she is even redder than before. I believe to be exactly the same.

\- We're even, remember? - I say smiling a little.

\- Actually, I think we are not completely even. There is something that I still owe you.

I raise an eyebrow at her.

\- And what would it be?

She takes a deep breath and shakes hands.

\- You... brought Tobias to me.

I start to laugh, and the sound of my own laughter makes me well. I had forgotten the feeling of laugh.

\- That's nothing, Nita. It was obvious to anyone.

She bites her lip again. This must be something she does to ward off the embarrassment.

\- I know that. Tobias and I are ... walking towards something good. I will return with him to Chicago, you know? I will choose Dauntless with him.

\- I'm sure that you will get. You are a bold by nature.

She nods.

\- I hope that a lot. And even if I become a factionless is not a bad thing now.

\- Yes - I say. - Be a factionless is now just don't belong to any faction, and not be disposed of society as before. And besides, you can still change your faction, or choose two factions, or none. Now the choice is really in our hands.

Nita watches me closely, and I can feel your mind processing all that information, wondering how it would work in practice.

The truth was that I didn't know. The future was big question mark, something we would never know. But it was a richer unknown in hopes than it had been at any time before now.

\- You already know what to do? - She asks, as if she had nothing more to say.

\- Yeah. - An inevitable smile comes on my face - We'll be in the same city, right? If you want to talk to me when we get back, look me in Erudite headquarters.

For a moment, Nita's face is confused, but soon comes to her understanding.

\- Oh, yeah. And this decision has a lot to do with the leader of their faction, I am wrong?

I shrug.

\- One of the things I learned after everything I experienced is that there are several reasons why it makes a decision. The decisions taken by love are those that are more likely to be correct.

Nita nods, and I know she understands me perfectly.

\- Well - she finally said. - I think I should go now. Tobias is preparing everything to go and I think I should help him.

\- Okay, so hurry up. I don't want him to think I'm trying to seduce his girlfriend or something.

Nita laughed and realize her laugh is musical, pleasant to listen to.

\- I don't think he thinks that. It's not like you had eyes for anyone but Jeanine. See you, Tris.

\- See you, Nita.

She gives me a last grateful look, then turns her back on me, walking down the hall.

I am alone for a moment and reflect on what was the most important part of our mission: people.

People who loved me and had respected my choices, although not understand them. People who had saved from having their stolen memories. The people I had met on the way and that they had more in common with me than I could imagine.

People like Nita.

Finally, take a deep breath, letting the oxygen spread through my system, taking the last remnants of the weight that I was carrying.

I was okay. I was coming home.


	36. Free

**JEANINE**

I picked up the papers from my desk and left to go to the lab. This was something I had done many times, but now felt different. Now many things feel different. Best, in a way. Quiet. I like to know I can breathe easy now.

What I have in my hands is a project that I had wanted to do for a long time. A more efficient version of some of my serums. But I have so many ideas in my head I do not know where to start. I need to go to computers and do things there.

Where is Tris? She went to get lunch and has not yet returned. Later she has a meeting representing the Erudite faction. Think about Tris in that meeting fills me with warmth. I'm sure she would be a good Leader. Maybe someday, when I finally get tired of so much paperwork.

The representatives of Japan arrived half an hour ago, and they were sitting in the control room, checking our technology with serious eyes and stoic faces. Surely Tris can with them.

Almost I reached my destination when a voice stopped me.

-Excuse me... -his voice sounded a little shy, but deep. -I'm looking for the meeting, and I think I'm lost, can you tell me where is?

I turned without knowing there I would find the monster from my nightmares.

My brother was the same as always. Tall, blond, gray eyes, pointed face. The only difference is that now his hair a bit disheveled, and the look of evilness that so many years had caused me nightmares had disappeared.

I controlled my emotions instantly, pretending disdain. At the end of the day I have spent my whole life doing it. It is a reflection yet.

-It's on the top floor, you should look to Johanna Reyes, or Jack Kang. If they are not there yet, look to Victoria Wu or Beatrice Prior. They are the representatives of the meeting.

Jeared Matthews/David Jacobs was momentarily overwhelmed.

-If you want, I can go with you...

-That would be a great help.

We walked side by side to the elevator and entered.

It is strange to think of the person next to me. It causes me anguish could not give him an identity.

The man next to me is my big brother, the boy who used torture me in the early years of my life. One of the numerous experiments of my father who had gone wrong. Jeared, whom I believed to be dead. David, my personal nightmare. Because of him, I had committed atrocities, I had killed dozens of innocent people so that he would not come here.

But at the same time, he is no longer anything. "David" is a person whose memory was dissolved like smoke. He is someone who thinks about his past and can not find any memory. He is someone who has no idea how wicked and inhuman he once was.

\- You are Jeanine Matthews, right? - He looks at me curiously.

\- Exactly - I answer without looking him in the eye. - I bet you've heard my name many times.

He nods.

\- Indeed.

He does not comment anything about it, and I'm sure that the things he heard about me were not good.

\- You are the leader of this faction, I am sure.

I just can nod.

\- Of Erudite? Yes, but I do not go to today's meeting. I have many important matters that can not wait, we are in a large phase of changes. I will be represented by Beatrice Prior.

\- Factions actually found a very interesting way to stay alive after the experiment has been undone - he looks surprised and proud. - For years we believe that the experiments were our main weapon in the struggle for equality genetics, but now I must admit that it is better to dissolve them. People are able to defend themselves without the need for external control. The Bureau is very proud of this city.

I frown at it, asking myself what the hell he's saying, and a second later I understand: he's saying what was taught to him after that his memory was stolen.

"We will give them a new story" Beatrice had once said "A new purpose. We will teach them new and human values."

\- The Bureau has existed for many years. - I say, this time looking at his face - Your cause is really very fair.

He nods.

\- Blaming genetically modified for all the woes of humanity may have been the biggest mistake that humanity itself has committed. And we tried over the years to undo this mistake. The fight is hard and a lot of times frustrating, but I think we are on track. I have many good expectations for Chicago.

-I'm sure we will move forward. -I muttered.

He looked at me completely again.

-What? - I asked uneasily.

-It's that you look very familiar. I never seen you in person... -he looked me frowning. My heart stopped beating. -Oh God you're just like Kate Winslet!

-...What?

-I've seen her movies a million times! Or at least I think so, I'm sure I saw it many times -his face shone. -You're an exact copy. You even have the same mole.

-Ahh... thanks.

For the first time in my life, I'm speechless.

The elevator stopped.

-It's this floor.

-I think I'm alone now. Thank you very much again, Miss Matthews.

My brother got off the elevator and walked on.

For a moment I had the irresistible urge to stop him. To explain who he really was. To talk about our father, our mother, our life, our home, our childhood, our everything. The life of my brother is part of mine.

But I did not. He did not deserve to remember all the pain. Perhaps now he can be happy.

I closed the elevator and went .


End file.
